17. A moment of divine clarity
So, I had an epiphany recently. I can't really say that this isn't directed towards anyone in particular, because it is. It is directed to several people. The you I am referring to is plural.
I had this wondrous epiphany after a well spent weekend with my two best friends. These are friendships that have stood the test of time over and over again. They are the two men I know that I can always count on when I need them. We spent the weekend together, laughing, talking, drinking and sharing stories. And I realized something. My grand divine epiphany.
I am so much better than you. I am so much better than all this bullshit.
I am sick and tired of you. Sick and tired of your fucking bullshit. Sick of you fucking with me, my thoughts, and my emotions.I am so much better than you, and your condescending bullshit attitude. I do not deserve this kind of shit. I am tired of you trying to push your views on me, trying to force your will upon me and make me into what you want me to be. That is not who or what I am. I am better than you, this bullshit situation, and all this other shit going on.
I finally had a chance to just sit myself down and think about everything that has happened to me in the last 5 years. It is a lot of shit to try and deal with. And I have realized that I have made entirely too many mistakes. A lot of these were terrible decisions that should never have been made. But they were, and I will just have to deal with that. I always say to live life with no regrets. But I guess I am a hypocrite. Cause I do kind of regret a lot of my decisions over the last few years. I was with people I shouldn't have been with. People that didn't appreciate me for who I really was but just constantly tried to make me into what they wanted me to be. But I don't deserve that kind of shit. I have fought hard for the things I have wanted and the things I believe in.
I will never again make those same mistakes. I will never settle for less than I deserve. Never again.
I am turning my life around. I am studying some new shit, expanding my horizons. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Expanding my horizons in every way I can. I am better, I deserve better, and I will have what I deserve. And nothing less.
I find it kind of amusing that I am even updating this. It's not like I even know of anyone who reads it anymore. And more to the point the people that this is about I know won't be reading it. I don't even think they know that I have a livejournal. Oh well. all part of life.
But I am doing my best to turn things around. I'm going to try to do things right this time around. Here goes nothing...
I had this wondrous epiphany after a well spent weekend with my two best friends. These are friendships that have stood the test of time over and over again. They are the two men I know that I can always count on when I need them. We spent the weekend together, laughing, talking, drinking and sharing stories. And I realized something. My grand divine epiphany.
I am so much better than you. I am so much better than all this bullshit.
I am sick and tired of you. Sick and tired of your fucking bullshit. Sick of you fucking with me, my thoughts, and my emotions.I am so much better than you, and your condescending bullshit attitude. I do not deserve this kind of shit. I am tired of you trying to push your views on me, trying to force your will upon me and make me into what you want me to be. That is not who or what I am. I am better than you, this bullshit situation, and all this other shit going on.
I finally had a chance to just sit myself down and think about everything that has happened to me in the last 5 years. It is a lot of shit to try and deal with. And I have realized that I have made entirely too many mistakes. A lot of these were terrible decisions that should never have been made. But they were, and I will just have to deal with that. I always say to live life with no regrets. But I guess I am a hypocrite. Cause I do kind of regret a lot of my decisions over the last few years. I was with people I shouldn't have been with. People that didn't appreciate me for who I really was but just constantly tried to make me into what they wanted me to be. But I don't deserve that kind of shit. I have fought hard for the things I have wanted and the things I believe in.
I will never again make those same mistakes. I will never settle for less than I deserve. Never again.
I am turning my life around. I am studying some new shit, expanding my horizons. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Expanding my horizons in every way I can. I am better, I deserve better, and I will have what I deserve. And nothing less.
I find it kind of amusing that I am even updating this. It's not like I even know of anyone who reads it anymore. And more to the point the people that this is about I know won't be reading it. I don't even think they know that I have a livejournal. Oh well. all part of life.
But I am doing my best to turn things around. I'm going to try to do things right this time around. Here goes nothing...