(no subject)
fuck you fuck you fuck you. God I just want my life back. I want that life I had. Damn it. I know I can never have it and I know you'll probably never speak to me again but fuck. Even if I just got one second just one minute to say good bye. To let go. Fuck that would make it all better. I'll just keep running. I'll run and run till I can run no more maybe then I'll be okay. I can't get it from my head I can't change the way I feel so I'll just run physically just run and when I run I'll push the thoughts out with every mile. With every mile I'll let you go I'll push you out maybe one day you really will be gone and you won't be there any more. Maybe one day I can forget you just like you've forgotten me. Maybe.
And you. What if it's not different? What if when you come home we can't fix it? What if the issues aren't resolved? I know she's not right but I also know that maybe I'm not either. Maybe we won't be. I'm not resolved yet either I mean jesus did you read what's above? I'm not resolved but I know I want to be with you. I know I want to try. I've stuck it out. I've done everything I can. Through fucking hell and high water. Through up down and everything in between. Maybe I'm wrong about this but I'm willing to find out.
And you. What if it's not different? What if when you come home we can't fix it? What if the issues aren't resolved? I know she's not right but I also know that maybe I'm not either. Maybe we won't be. I'm not resolved yet either I mean jesus did you read what's above? I'm not resolved but I know I want to be with you. I know I want to try. I've stuck it out. I've done everything I can. Through fucking hell and high water. Through up down and everything in between. Maybe I'm wrong about this but I'm willing to find out.