(no subject)
Although her life and daily routines now seemed a little more plausible, she hastily awaited the mark of the coming of age of her friends by their embarkment into adulthood by moving away from home.
The more the time drew nearer, the less real it became.
Beforehand, it had all been but something to keep her going through her days, now it was more of a harsh reality.
This didn't go to say that she wasn't thrilled, but as it marked a new life, she thought about his new life. His new life without her.
It wasn't that she was bitter, or longing... It was that she was clueless.
Here she was, bringing a new life into a world where what you make of yourself is key in your own personal growth and development, and she saw him as not wanting any part in this new life, but developing his own little niche... What it came down to was that once this was over, once she had created life, what happend to her life? What happend now that she was so unsure of where her own personal growth was heading?
She was frightened, there was no doubt. She was without a plan of action. Without a safety net. Her entire life has been put on hold without planning, and in her organized mess, this had been flawlessly unexpected.
It had all dawned on her as she held that little girl. 4 weeks old that morning. Her pursed little baby lips and sweet baby scent overcame all of her protector's senses. She could very well possess all this tiny beauty. This could all be hers. The overwhelming sensation of love. The beautiful feeling of a tiny vulnerability in need of guidance and protection. She could be the teacher. She could be the one to love this. She could be to not only give live, but to help develop it as well...
This must be the grieving process she had read about.
Funny, it had come much sooner than expected.
She doubted she was as ready as she had previously anticipated, but she hoped she was making the right decision
The more the time drew nearer, the less real it became.
Beforehand, it had all been but something to keep her going through her days, now it was more of a harsh reality.
This didn't go to say that she wasn't thrilled, but as it marked a new life, she thought about his new life. His new life without her.
It wasn't that she was bitter, or longing... It was that she was clueless.
Here she was, bringing a new life into a world where what you make of yourself is key in your own personal growth and development, and she saw him as not wanting any part in this new life, but developing his own little niche... What it came down to was that once this was over, once she had created life, what happend to her life? What happend now that she was so unsure of where her own personal growth was heading?
She was frightened, there was no doubt. She was without a plan of action. Without a safety net. Her entire life has been put on hold without planning, and in her organized mess, this had been flawlessly unexpected.
It had all dawned on her as she held that little girl. 4 weeks old that morning. Her pursed little baby lips and sweet baby scent overcame all of her protector's senses. She could very well possess all this tiny beauty. This could all be hers. The overwhelming sensation of love. The beautiful feeling of a tiny vulnerability in need of guidance and protection. She could be the teacher. She could be the one to love this. She could be to not only give live, but to help develop it as well...
This must be the grieving process she had read about.
Funny, it had come much sooner than expected.
She doubted she was as ready as she had previously anticipated, but she hoped she was making the right decision