(no subject)
John and I are doing pretty good. We have been in Springfield ( Eugene) area for almost 3 weeks now. Still unemployed technically. I am watching a sweet little lady named Maya she is 2 and a character.
Today is the first time since I moved here Have not had allergy meds in my system ... I wanna see how I do.
I have had 2 interviews since moving here... I am just not that cool .. nor do I know how to interview ... I have always had my skills land me my jobs ...not how I look and my style of clothing. What it really is , it is that I don't have that "pop" or " something special". Shitty thing is I know I don't , there isn't really anything I know how to do about it.
I am however going to take up rock climbing , I figure this will help build trust in myself and confidence. because I am lacking both . I figure once I build that in my self I can start trusting others ( so i can actually show people who I am and not let them assume).. cause I can tell you right now there is no one I really truly trust in this world .. no one has ever given me a reason why I should. Hopefully I will get over this not trusting shit ... its emo and lame.
I am also going to start saving up for an automatic car, I have a hard time with a stick .. but I can easily drive an automatic . I also want a wagon :o) not a subaru though.. I do not find them comfy and my mechanic wants a toyota.. and I like the idea so .. there we go :o)
I have gained 15lbs back up to a size 8 * shakes her fist* this summer ... I hate stress and depression!!... I am making an effort to do fun and uplifting things. I really really really wanted to get into school this semester so I could start an art class. I figured helping bring out my creative side might help with lull I am in. ( but I cant because of money reasons).
I am also starting working out at night because it is NOT my food I eat and awesome healthy diet but I wanna get rid of this belly and thighs .. I don't care if it sounds superficial.. I love my body .. but it doesn't feel good with this extra weight on it. You can seriously feel the difference.
Well I am going to go on a bike ride, John and I have been doing a lot of that lately he can now easily do 8 miles :o) I am so proud of him :D I heart him I am so glad he tries to understand me <3