Sad places
One of my only real cousins died the other day, he was 18. He was the tall one who had taken a bad turn the past few years, but growing up there are alot of memories we have. I was holding his brother Shawn, and he was crying and he said "what can you do? But i know I can;t talk to my brother anymore Ryan?. That hurt me more than anything has in a long while. A year or so back, Allen stole some videogames from me and fessed up to it, and a few monthes later I saw him and he said Hi, and I said hi and we hugged, and everything was forgotten. That memory keeps hurting my heart real bad. It seems that the only people in the world you can forgive and move on with no matter what are family, cause there always gonna be there. But now he's not, because he overdosed on pills. The same night I was taking pills. My life is in a bad place now, I don't know how to get it right. I told my parents everything, about me taking the hyrdros and ambien and abusing my adderall and when they took me off that my xanax and valium and klonopin. I hope I can get out of this place, and I hope Josh can to. I worry he's in a worse place than me, and I miss him. I don't know much right now, but i know I wish Allen didn't die so his mom wont have to live with finding him with a mouth full of foam, and I wish he didn't die to my uncle didn't have to hear his wife when she saw him. he told me the scream keeps him from sleeping now. Its gay that when people die you finally see what they meant to you, even if they meant something in the weirdest or smallest ways.