need some feedback, im being submitted for publishing
Chelsey Conner
Mr. Moses
AP Literature
Due: December 8, 2006
Where Guilt Lies
Bradford stepped out of the mall, away from the noisy feet of shoppers trying to get in one last store before closing. The bitterly cold month of December was always like this, too many people coming and not enough going. Thankfully, he was not a worker and could leave whenever he felt the urge. He had come only in the mere hope of seeing a few friends, and of buying his mother a present. It had not been a good day. It was insane, with people pushing over one another to get the best discount, kid’s screaming, and annoying preteens who lacked correct parent supervision. A large frown had formed amidst the chiseled jaw, protruding cheek bones, and leathery tanned face that had become his. Five years away had changed him, aged him fifteen. His face was no longer that of a twenty three year old, but that of a man. Already the bags of a tired, middle aged man bulged under his eyes. He had failed to find his mom anything. “A whole day wasted,” he thought to himself. He attempted to light a cigarette but immediately spit it out, thinking better of it. He threw his pack of Pall Malls into the nearest trash bin and softly whispered “Never Again”.
“Never Again what?”
He recognized the cheerful voice behind him and turned around with arms out, not even bothering to check the face. Her radiant warmth was more of a spiritual warmth, it was deep inside and its origin unknown. It made him ashamed that she had caught him in such a horrible mood. He looked up at her young face to take in the view. She smelled of chamomile tea, and her green eyes provided solace to his saddened heart. Her long red hair fell against her pale skin, all the way down her slender body and hovered just a few inches above her hips. She was the perfection of beauty. At least, that is how he saw her.
“Oh, just my thousandth proclamation of quitting,” he finally replied, giving a small smile.
“How fake was that?” she laughed while giving him a playful shove.
“You always show up just when I need you, Reily” He put an arm around her and rested his head on hers.
“I know. I’m good like that.” She smiled again and instantly he found himself smiling with her.
“God, you look amazing. What did you do?”
“I have been in college and am working at a Gym to help pay for my apartment, bills, and being able to go out. I got a free membership with the job so I thought I’d use it.”
“Well, it has worked. And gosh your hair has gotten so long.” He ran his fingers through Reily’s hair, and added “I sure did miss home.”
“Well, home missed you. Are you leaving?”
“Yes.”
“Alright then, you want to walk me to my car?”
Together they walked across the parking lot to her green Honda.
“So, you want to join for some coffee?” he asked shyly.
“Of course! You want to meet at the old hangout?”
“Sure. Drive Carefully.” With that he started towards his own.
Reily slid into her bucket seat and shut the door. She yelled out the window “See you in a few,” and went on to pull out of the parking lot.
Brad stood at his car for a few moments completely speechless. She was more beautiful than he had remembered. Her outer beauty was matched with an inner beauty that made him melt as if he were sugar in tea. He had never seen her so happy; it was a change that he hoped would never reverse itself. While driving, he found his mind wandering. “What had changed her?” He wondered if she was taking medication, or perhaps seeing a therapist. His thought of her continued, though he was unaware she was guilty of the same thing.
Reily sat in her car once arriving at the coffee shop, worried about those sad eyes that had met hers. Bradford had never been like that, he had always been the overly cheerful one. It was almost a hidden sadness, but she knew him too well and could see too deep to not find it. It broke her heart to see it, his brown eyes with so much sadness, pain, the cause too deep for her to find and decipher. The face that had met hers back at the mall had seen too much. He was trying to deceive her and hide the hurt, but Reily was too good at reading people. She decided she would think about it more before saying anything. She didn’t want to scare him.
She saw his car pull in and got out of her own to meet his at the door of Something’s Brewin. A wave of espresso, hibiscus, tea, and bread aroma hit like a brick as they walked into the café. They ordered their drinks and found a small, secluded table outside, just big enough for the two of them. They sat in silence for a few minutes.
“So how long have you been back?” Reily began.
“Not very long, maybe a few days. Not nearly long enough.”
“I prayed for you everyday, you now that don’t you?”
“I believe prayers are what brought me home without the body bag.”
His attempt to joke was worthless; Reily had already begun to tear up.
“Was it bad?”
“It seemed to get worse everyday.”
“I wrote as often as I could.”
“You letters helped.”
“I hope they did. So how was it? You were gone for so long I was worried you might not come back. Were you ever injured? Did you make any friends?”
Suddenly Bradford’s eyes seemed all too distant. Reily saw the pain again, along with something else she could not place.
“I’m sorry.” It was hardly a whisper, and all she could manage.
“It isn’t your fault.”
“No, it’s none of my business and I shouldn’t have asked. What happened over there… that is not what you wanted to talk about today.”
“No, it isn’t that.”
“Well, you don’t have to tell me. I am your friend, but if you are uncomfortable about it then it is okay. You’ve been through so much, I am sure. I mean, we see pictures but I am certain that amounts to nothing that you have.”
He was trying his hardest not to cry. “It’s okay.” His voice wavered.
“I’m so sorry.” He felt it again, the soothing warmth, her breath on his neck as she grabbed him into a tight hug. He did not want to let go but pulled away because he didn’t deserve her. She was too good for him.
Reily jerked back, obviously hurt. She didn’t know what to say. Bradford noticed brightness of her eyes had faded and they looked lost and confused.
He knew after looking into her eyes that he would be unable to hold back his own tears. He turned away and began walking towards the door.
“Bradford, wait!” Reily chased him and caught him just before he opened his car door. “What is wrong with you?”
He turned slowly, and the look in his eyes physically hurt.
“It was all my fault Reily. I killed him.”
She couldn’t understand.
“What sweetie, what is it?”
“His life was in my hands and I left him! I killed him!
He was yelling now and Reily was shocked. She didn’t know what to say, what to think, or how to help him. However, she did know that the last thing he needed was a police officer approaching them. She walked him to her car and put him in the passenger side. She climbed into the driver’s side.
“Okay, start from the beginning.” She tried to have a calm voice but knew it had wavered.
“My friend, Michael, was shot. He had helped me when I was shot. He had bandaged my leg with his shirt and he saved my life. I couldn’t do it for him Reily. We were under heavy fire, and he was shot in the shoulder. I ripped my shirt off and tried to bandage him, but men were coming closer. I tried to carry him but I was so tired and I couldn’t. I left him! I left him to die! He might have lived if I could have just sucked it up, but I have up on him. I am the one that should be dead! Not him. Not Michael.”
“Oh, honey.”
Reily pulled Bradford’s head to her chest and as he wept. She held him, trying to soothe his heart and it was not long before she was crying as well. There is no telling how long they sat there, weeping together.
Reily talked to him, much like a mother would to a child and kept him talking. Soon it was as if the five years had never been spent apart. She refused to leave him, and spent the rest of the day holding him, while they both wept and the people outside just walked by and stared. She, however, could care less at what the people thought. He meant the world to her and she could think of no place that she would rather be.
Mr. Moses
AP Literature
Due: December 8, 2006
Where Guilt Lies
Bradford stepped out of the mall, away from the noisy feet of shoppers trying to get in one last store before closing. The bitterly cold month of December was always like this, too many people coming and not enough going. Thankfully, he was not a worker and could leave whenever he felt the urge. He had come only in the mere hope of seeing a few friends, and of buying his mother a present. It had not been a good day. It was insane, with people pushing over one another to get the best discount, kid’s screaming, and annoying preteens who lacked correct parent supervision. A large frown had formed amidst the chiseled jaw, protruding cheek bones, and leathery tanned face that had become his. Five years away had changed him, aged him fifteen. His face was no longer that of a twenty three year old, but that of a man. Already the bags of a tired, middle aged man bulged under his eyes. He had failed to find his mom anything. “A whole day wasted,” he thought to himself. He attempted to light a cigarette but immediately spit it out, thinking better of it. He threw his pack of Pall Malls into the nearest trash bin and softly whispered “Never Again”.
“Never Again what?”
He recognized the cheerful voice behind him and turned around with arms out, not even bothering to check the face. Her radiant warmth was more of a spiritual warmth, it was deep inside and its origin unknown. It made him ashamed that she had caught him in such a horrible mood. He looked up at her young face to take in the view. She smelled of chamomile tea, and her green eyes provided solace to his saddened heart. Her long red hair fell against her pale skin, all the way down her slender body and hovered just a few inches above her hips. She was the perfection of beauty. At least, that is how he saw her.
“Oh, just my thousandth proclamation of quitting,” he finally replied, giving a small smile.
“How fake was that?” she laughed while giving him a playful shove.
“You always show up just when I need you, Reily” He put an arm around her and rested his head on hers.
“I know. I’m good like that.” She smiled again and instantly he found himself smiling with her.
“God, you look amazing. What did you do?”
“I have been in college and am working at a Gym to help pay for my apartment, bills, and being able to go out. I got a free membership with the job so I thought I’d use it.”
“Well, it has worked. And gosh your hair has gotten so long.” He ran his fingers through Reily’s hair, and added “I sure did miss home.”
“Well, home missed you. Are you leaving?”
“Yes.”
“Alright then, you want to walk me to my car?”
Together they walked across the parking lot to her green Honda.
“So, you want to join for some coffee?” he asked shyly.
“Of course! You want to meet at the old hangout?”
“Sure. Drive Carefully.” With that he started towards his own.
Reily slid into her bucket seat and shut the door. She yelled out the window “See you in a few,” and went on to pull out of the parking lot.
Brad stood at his car for a few moments completely speechless. She was more beautiful than he had remembered. Her outer beauty was matched with an inner beauty that made him melt as if he were sugar in tea. He had never seen her so happy; it was a change that he hoped would never reverse itself. While driving, he found his mind wandering. “What had changed her?” He wondered if she was taking medication, or perhaps seeing a therapist. His thought of her continued, though he was unaware she was guilty of the same thing.
Reily sat in her car once arriving at the coffee shop, worried about those sad eyes that had met hers. Bradford had never been like that, he had always been the overly cheerful one. It was almost a hidden sadness, but she knew him too well and could see too deep to not find it. It broke her heart to see it, his brown eyes with so much sadness, pain, the cause too deep for her to find and decipher. The face that had met hers back at the mall had seen too much. He was trying to deceive her and hide the hurt, but Reily was too good at reading people. She decided she would think about it more before saying anything. She didn’t want to scare him.
She saw his car pull in and got out of her own to meet his at the door of Something’s Brewin. A wave of espresso, hibiscus, tea, and bread aroma hit like a brick as they walked into the café. They ordered their drinks and found a small, secluded table outside, just big enough for the two of them. They sat in silence for a few minutes.
“So how long have you been back?” Reily began.
“Not very long, maybe a few days. Not nearly long enough.”
“I prayed for you everyday, you now that don’t you?”
“I believe prayers are what brought me home without the body bag.”
His attempt to joke was worthless; Reily had already begun to tear up.
“Was it bad?”
“It seemed to get worse everyday.”
“I wrote as often as I could.”
“You letters helped.”
“I hope they did. So how was it? You were gone for so long I was worried you might not come back. Were you ever injured? Did you make any friends?”
Suddenly Bradford’s eyes seemed all too distant. Reily saw the pain again, along with something else she could not place.
“I’m sorry.” It was hardly a whisper, and all she could manage.
“It isn’t your fault.”
“No, it’s none of my business and I shouldn’t have asked. What happened over there… that is not what you wanted to talk about today.”
“No, it isn’t that.”
“Well, you don’t have to tell me. I am your friend, but if you are uncomfortable about it then it is okay. You’ve been through so much, I am sure. I mean, we see pictures but I am certain that amounts to nothing that you have.”
He was trying his hardest not to cry. “It’s okay.” His voice wavered.
“I’m so sorry.” He felt it again, the soothing warmth, her breath on his neck as she grabbed him into a tight hug. He did not want to let go but pulled away because he didn’t deserve her. She was too good for him.
Reily jerked back, obviously hurt. She didn’t know what to say. Bradford noticed brightness of her eyes had faded and they looked lost and confused.
He knew after looking into her eyes that he would be unable to hold back his own tears. He turned away and began walking towards the door.
“Bradford, wait!” Reily chased him and caught him just before he opened his car door. “What is wrong with you?”
He turned slowly, and the look in his eyes physically hurt.
“It was all my fault Reily. I killed him.”
She couldn’t understand.
“What sweetie, what is it?”
“His life was in my hands and I left him! I killed him!
He was yelling now and Reily was shocked. She didn’t know what to say, what to think, or how to help him. However, she did know that the last thing he needed was a police officer approaching them. She walked him to her car and put him in the passenger side. She climbed into the driver’s side.
“Okay, start from the beginning.” She tried to have a calm voice but knew it had wavered.
“My friend, Michael, was shot. He had helped me when I was shot. He had bandaged my leg with his shirt and he saved my life. I couldn’t do it for him Reily. We were under heavy fire, and he was shot in the shoulder. I ripped my shirt off and tried to bandage him, but men were coming closer. I tried to carry him but I was so tired and I couldn’t. I left him! I left him to die! He might have lived if I could have just sucked it up, but I have up on him. I am the one that should be dead! Not him. Not Michael.”
“Oh, honey.”
Reily pulled Bradford’s head to her chest and as he wept. She held him, trying to soothe his heart and it was not long before she was crying as well. There is no telling how long they sat there, weeping together.
Reily talked to him, much like a mother would to a child and kept him talking. Soon it was as if the five years had never been spent apart. She refused to leave him, and spent the rest of the day holding him, while they both wept and the people outside just walked by and stared. She, however, could care less at what the people thought. He meant the world to her and she could think of no place that she would rather be.