*TrUsT iN tHe LoRd WiTh AlL yOuR hEaRt~ PrOvErBs 3:5*
So the final decision was made...we won't be getting together. It feels like a knife has went straight through my heart. My stomach is in knots and I want to cry...but I won't. I won't cry...it's not worth it. "Never cry over someone who will never cry over you" ..Okay so I know that once it hits me, I'll bawl like a little baby. There's nothing I can do about it though..he said it was his final decision. And thats what I was waiting for. So..it's over. ((And here come the tears...))
Shira and I are going to the movies tonight...hopefully it'll get my mind off everything. But then, I'll come back to reality. I can't decide if him leaving town is going to be a good thing. I won't be able to talk to him..maybe then I'll get over him. I wish I didn't have to.. My gosh this is hard. I hate being a girl. I hate caring.. I hate, ugh. All I can do is pray. That's what I've been doing the past 2 weeks..praying that God would do the right thing and help me deal. I guess this is His plan for me. It doesn't make me very happy right now, but it's for the best I guess.
I keep telling myself "He's not what you need.." But I can't fool myself. Everything about him is...almost perfect. He's everything I look for in a guy. And I can't be with him. I wanna tell him he's making a big mistake.. that he's denying his true feelings for me, but..I can't. Because I doubt that's true. His friends don't really like me though, so I don't know if it would've lasted long. I don't know why they don't like me though.. I try my hardest but I guess that's not enough.
Okay, I've got to stop. I'll get over him eventually.
Shira and I are going to the movies tonight...hopefully it'll get my mind off everything. But then, I'll come back to reality. I can't decide if him leaving town is going to be a good thing. I won't be able to talk to him..maybe then I'll get over him. I wish I didn't have to.. My gosh this is hard. I hate being a girl. I hate caring.. I hate, ugh. All I can do is pray. That's what I've been doing the past 2 weeks..praying that God would do the right thing and help me deal. I guess this is His plan for me. It doesn't make me very happy right now, but it's for the best I guess.
I keep telling myself "He's not what you need.." But I can't fool myself. Everything about him is...almost perfect. He's everything I look for in a guy. And I can't be with him. I wanna tell him he's making a big mistake.. that he's denying his true feelings for me, but..I can't. Because I doubt that's true. His friends don't really like me though, so I don't know if it would've lasted long. I don't know why they don't like me though.. I try my hardest but I guess that's not enough.
Okay, I've got to stop. I'll get over him eventually.