Hectic, whats killing me?

[livin_in_a_cell]

Man lately it's just been hectic. I'm just tired of all these fights. I get scared to easily that we are going to fight everynight. I think just everything I do now-a-days something lands up happening. I try so hard to advoid everything that will hurt me but i cant. I try to watch out for both of us. I try not to take her from her friedns but I manage to do that some way or another. I'm really just tired of all the heart ache. but the thing is that we do learn from it and that really is all that matters to me. We stay strong and stay together. But lately I think the past few mishaps have been the worst yet. I just feel so bad about them so much. Like tonight I'm just worried somethign else bad is going to happen. I just know it. Just like last night. I thought something was going to happen. and what happened? What I thought was gonna happen. Something bad. I think I just need to find another person I can talk to but She's the only one I really trust. I just cant trust no one else like her. Really I think I need that other person I can talk to about things liek things that hurt me way too much and things like that may hurt her adn I dont need that anymore. i am sick and tired of it all. I just dont know what to do. But I'm going to tell you what I'm not going to do and that is Kill myself or break up with her. Its just these things are thigns I need to get out. I just need to go paintballing or go out and have some real fun. Go play around. Have my adreniline up and up.

I need some alone time I guess or I just need to go ride my bike into the sunset or I just need a vacation and get outta town for a while which I am doing this weekend. I hope my camping trip will be fun like it was last time. Hell I think I just need to go get high for a night and get drunk too and see if that helps. Egh oh well this is the grand ole life of roman. Just livin one day at a time and livng it like it was your last becuase you just never know when your going to die. I just hope when I die no one mourns over me for years and years to come.

If I were to die right now how would you guys act? Would you guys mourn over me for a little or long time? Will you guys forget me after a few days? weeks? months?

Well thats it for now. Just time to think over life and see whats killing me........