if you knew what it was like to be me. u would understand.
um last night..
yeahh i went to kathleens!... i didn't think i would have a good time but i did... started out not that good but got better! then i had to leave right when it was getting good. but thats ok...i was glad i went...um came home my mom and dad asked me some gay questions got mad almost cried in front of them but after they were holding me back. like litterllly trapped me in the kitchen.. well after that i got away and went to my room and cried... not about that.. well a lil but about everything...just i feel like i'm puttin to much pressure on myself and worrying to much about stupid lil things.. but then i just dont know what to do... ughh i hate thinking about this.. but its all i think about... and i'm not going to go any farther..... i'm done with trying to make it better. i'm the only one putting an effort into it... or it seems. so i'm leaving it how it is . and what happens happens.. i know i will be the one to get it the worst and be hurt which sucks... what can i do tho? i'm nothing...
ok enough of that. ha...
today.. i woke up in a bad mood...didn't want to go to 9:00 mass so i just didn't wake up and my mom got mad but then it was to late so everyone left but me and my sister. she went running then me and her went to 1200...yeahh everyone in my fam has been annoying me soo much more than usualy lately...it sucks...and i haven't been able to use the computer much cause of my sister with her gay college crap...and my parents saying all i do is 'get on the computer or do something with friends'. 1. thats crap ok i'm only aloud to do 2 things with my friends a month. um so yeah in a whole month i am out of the house TWO TIMES.... that makes me upset because i feel like i miss a lot... cause when everyone doing stuff i'm at home not aloud to do anything...which brings up homecoming...and my birthday. they said that we would celebrate my birthday another day because of my grandpa and that stuff. um yeah they def forgot... i know i had a surprise party. but really with the fam i didn't have anything. i dont care much except for the fact that they forgot?... ok whatever. that doesn't need to add to my problems. ughhh i hate this. i'm crying so i'm ending it...
oh wait.. at church i couldn't pay attention. i tried and i just couldn't. it was weird... cause i just kept thinking about things and what it and what will happen and why and stuff.... so like i didn't get anything out of it or anything. it was liek i went cause i HAD TO. but then it wasn't... i dono... i have ccd tonight. dreading it... hopefully won't have to take any tests cause i really don't feel that i know much...
blah blah blah. my entries are so long... and filled with stuff that only matters to me...
dont feel sorry. why would it help? to tell me ur sorry? except when i know u really are. whatever
frances
MICHELLE I MISS YOU. I HAVEN'T TALKED TO U SINCE FRIDAY AHHHH. HAHA.. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! and right now. thank you for everything.... when i remember and think of you and some other ppl it makes me feel like i have the world cause of you guys. thank you I LOVE YOU :D
yeahh i went to kathleens!... i didn't think i would have a good time but i did... started out not that good but got better! then i had to leave right when it was getting good. but thats ok...i was glad i went...um came home my mom and dad asked me some gay questions got mad almost cried in front of them but after they were holding me back. like litterllly trapped me in the kitchen.. well after that i got away and went to my room and cried... not about that.. well a lil but about everything...just i feel like i'm puttin to much pressure on myself and worrying to much about stupid lil things.. but then i just dont know what to do... ughh i hate thinking about this.. but its all i think about... and i'm not going to go any farther..... i'm done with trying to make it better. i'm the only one putting an effort into it... or it seems. so i'm leaving it how it is . and what happens happens.. i know i will be the one to get it the worst and be hurt which sucks... what can i do tho? i'm nothing...
ok enough of that. ha...
today.. i woke up in a bad mood...didn't want to go to 9:00 mass so i just didn't wake up and my mom got mad but then it was to late so everyone left but me and my sister. she went running then me and her went to 1200...yeahh everyone in my fam has been annoying me soo much more than usualy lately...it sucks...and i haven't been able to use the computer much cause of my sister with her gay college crap...and my parents saying all i do is 'get on the computer or do something with friends'. 1. thats crap ok i'm only aloud to do 2 things with my friends a month. um so yeah in a whole month i am out of the house TWO TIMES.... that makes me upset because i feel like i miss a lot... cause when everyone doing stuff i'm at home not aloud to do anything...which brings up homecoming...and my birthday. they said that we would celebrate my birthday another day because of my grandpa and that stuff. um yeah they def forgot... i know i had a surprise party. but really with the fam i didn't have anything. i dont care much except for the fact that they forgot?... ok whatever. that doesn't need to add to my problems. ughhh i hate this. i'm crying so i'm ending it...
oh wait.. at church i couldn't pay attention. i tried and i just couldn't. it was weird... cause i just kept thinking about things and what it and what will happen and why and stuff.... so like i didn't get anything out of it or anything. it was liek i went cause i HAD TO. but then it wasn't... i dono... i have ccd tonight. dreading it... hopefully won't have to take any tests cause i really don't feel that i know much...
blah blah blah. my entries are so long... and filled with stuff that only matters to me...
dont feel sorry. why would it help? to tell me ur sorry? except when i know u really are. whatever
frances
MICHELLE I MISS YOU. I HAVEN'T TALKED TO U SINCE FRIDAY AHHHH. HAHA.. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! and right now. thank you for everything.... when i remember and think of you and some other ppl it makes me feel like i have the world cause of you guys. thank you I LOVE YOU :D