(Untitled)

[livid_kitten]

From the most egregious regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Kurt Cobain, bringing to you the wisdom and chair of the lost city of Seattle. To usher in the New Age of cats you must heed my words and swim patiently. The time is soon when the space ships of our galactic cousins will return and our collective

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Here's mine:

[forcefeddeity]

In the holy city of Little Rock lived a righteous and imperative man named; Zolor, Lord of the Cosmic Super Glue. Zolor, Lord of the Cosmic Super Glue was so righteous and imperative that God gave him instructions on how to build a Miata, and a magic bojiggle to help bring Zolor, Lord of the Cosmic Super Glue to America. The trip was long and the Miata was omnivorous, but they eventually reached the New World. Zolor, Lord of the Cosmic Super Glue's offspring then became two tribes. And these tribes did prosper and engaged. Then Marco Polo Christ came and said 'Restless is the platypus and lop-sided is the jack-o-lantern which leads unto heaven.' But the people didn't understand and became exceedingly fresh and wicked. Fortunately Mormon engraved the record of his fresh people on provocative years and buried them for Mikel to find.

The following must be added to your Old Testament as the Book of Abraham.
In the beginning God declared to Adam and Eve 'Go forth and went' so they had two sons, Cane and Able. Because God liked Able better, Cane killed him with a miracle. When God found out he placed The Curse of keilbasa sausage on Cane and all of his offspring, turning their teeth slimy. God also declared that they should be clerks of clerks. Because of The Curse of keilbasa sausage we are supposed to treat all people with slimy teeth as fresh clerks, until it becomes politically difficult.