I don't know.

[livexoutxloud]

What I do know is that I annoy you.
I'm selfish.
I'm not worth your worry.
I should just sit down and shut up.
You don't mind not spending time with me.
I know you want me to get a job and my license.
Trust me, even though your not pushing me like before...
You want it, and I've heard you complaining to others.
I'm a fat, lazy, useless person.
I can't tell you the truth and when I do it just makes you worry more.
The last time I told you I cut, you made me feel AWFUL.
So naturally...I'm probably never going to show you again.
I lie too...I'm usually not okay when you ask if I am.
I lie to my therapist, I lie to myself.
I've been okay for a while, but slowly the urge just became too much.
I felt terrible after, mostly because my baby was right outside the door meowing.
But...I don't regret it. I guess it's back to square one, being one week clean. lol
idk.