Do you?

[livexoutxloud]

Do you love me?
I often feel you don't.
I know you probably do..
It's just the actions you take..
I don't need money spent on me.
Or to go see movies, or eat out all the time..
I just like it when you're there, near me.
With me.
I know you are always late for everything.
And I try not to worry or get down when you are.
But I just can't help it.
I know I should try to call you..
but I'm tired of hearing the ringing and no answer.
I've tried, and I think...no matter how much this feels wrong to me..that it's your turn to step up.
If you love me, you'll call.
If you love me, you will make an effort.
I wish I could say more, but it breaks my heart to even think about being mad at you.
Whenever I try all I see is you laying in that hospital bed, barley able to even get up.
My friend thinks I deserve so much from you...
I don't believe it much...though when she said that it made me cry.
I HATE the fact that you live alone.
I'm TERRIFIED that something bad will happen to you.
I CONSTANTLY worry about you.
Though I get told I shouldn't almost all the time.
But that's me.
I know that I have fucked up...a lot.
I disappoint you probably more than I imagine, which kills me.
But I do love you.
With all my heart.
Forever and ever.
No mater what.
And I regret anything that upsets you...which is a lot once again.
I'm sorry...

Ranting..bleh...idk.