haha
guys, this is my friend Jared's story. some of you may remember him from fulmar, becuase he absolutely rocks. and i really miss him. but he wrote this for english and sent it to me, so i give you...
"My Big Fat Greek Gang War"
Athena was taking her daily walk around the city of Athens. While on her stroll she happened by the titanic hero Hercules. In what was suppose to be badinage, she joked about how his muscles appeared to be shrinking. Although Hercules was physically strong, he was very sensitive and in a bilious mood, so he did not take kindly to this. He stormed off in search of loyal lackeys that would boost his self-esteem. Athena hadn't really meant what she had said about his diminishing muscle mass and took offense that Hercules would think she would try to be a boor. She too stormed off to gather bootlickers that supported her. They met in a small house to decide how revenge should be extracted on Hercules.
Athena's group finally came up with a suitable plan after long hours of thinking. That night, they went to Hercules' house with pounds of sausage links. They then adroitly threw the sausage all over the trees and house, where they hung in the tree branches and over the house roof. Then the group left. During the night, birds and other animals came to Hercules' house and ate the links of sausage. When Hercules awoke, unaware that any mischief had taken place, he stepped outside; his house was as bland as always. Athena and her cohorts started thinking of what else they could use to torment Hercules instead of sausage. After fierce debate, they settled on long strips of thin paper wrapped around a small tube. They called paper-wrapped tubes 'toilet paper' because they had to toil hours to make them. To make them was a Sisyphean task, but in the end it paid off. This time when they carried out their plan, it rained and paper stuck in Hercules' trees for weeks. This is the first instance of a house being rolled. Deciding that Athena meant business, Hercules decided to make a bona fide peace offering.
Hercules, with his devotees right behind him, journeyed to Athena's house in the dark of night to write a peace message on her house that might show her he harbored no hard feelings. He had a protean personality and could be nice when need be. One of the few things Hercules and Athena shared was the same father, so his plan was to write: "Your father is an electrifying guy". This is how the idea for corny greeting cards came about. Hercules, not being the best speller in the world, was struggling along with his work of art. From inside he heard Athena stirring and had to hurry away before he was finished. Athena stepped outside and gazed out her wall where "UR fat" had been inscribed in coal. Graffiti had now been introduced into the world. The tension between the two groups was at its peak.
After several nights had passed, the two groups met in the street ready to brawl. Both sides rushed to find the nearest sticks and rocks. Each team started hurtling the rubble at their respective enemies, while others charged in and attacked each other with the rods, creating a bedlam. After several minutes of intense fighting, Athena, carrying her huge aegis, struck Hercules with a thunderbolt and knocked him unconscious. His followers fled in a panic, while Athena and her crew beat the fallen hero with sticks. The first gang war had ended.
When Hercules awakened he was in a hospital bed with severely broken bones, aggrandized bruises, and a nearly amorphous body. He realized he should never have been upset over Athena's statement and smiled. His Achilles' heel was no longer his sensitivity. He then said the now famous phrase: "Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me." He learned that violence is not the answer and peaceful solutions should be thought out. He no longer wanted to carry any antipathy for Athena and never quarreled with her again.
sorry it was so long. but i liked it. andway to go jared. miss you. <3
"My Big Fat Greek Gang War"
Athena was taking her daily walk around the city of Athens. While on her stroll she happened by the titanic hero Hercules. In what was suppose to be badinage, she joked about how his muscles appeared to be shrinking. Although Hercules was physically strong, he was very sensitive and in a bilious mood, so he did not take kindly to this. He stormed off in search of loyal lackeys that would boost his self-esteem. Athena hadn't really meant what she had said about his diminishing muscle mass and took offense that Hercules would think she would try to be a boor. She too stormed off to gather bootlickers that supported her. They met in a small house to decide how revenge should be extracted on Hercules.
Athena's group finally came up with a suitable plan after long hours of thinking. That night, they went to Hercules' house with pounds of sausage links. They then adroitly threw the sausage all over the trees and house, where they hung in the tree branches and over the house roof. Then the group left. During the night, birds and other animals came to Hercules' house and ate the links of sausage. When Hercules awoke, unaware that any mischief had taken place, he stepped outside; his house was as bland as always. Athena and her cohorts started thinking of what else they could use to torment Hercules instead of sausage. After fierce debate, they settled on long strips of thin paper wrapped around a small tube. They called paper-wrapped tubes 'toilet paper' because they had to toil hours to make them. To make them was a Sisyphean task, but in the end it paid off. This time when they carried out their plan, it rained and paper stuck in Hercules' trees for weeks. This is the first instance of a house being rolled. Deciding that Athena meant business, Hercules decided to make a bona fide peace offering.
Hercules, with his devotees right behind him, journeyed to Athena's house in the dark of night to write a peace message on her house that might show her he harbored no hard feelings. He had a protean personality and could be nice when need be. One of the few things Hercules and Athena shared was the same father, so his plan was to write: "Your father is an electrifying guy". This is how the idea for corny greeting cards came about. Hercules, not being the best speller in the world, was struggling along with his work of art. From inside he heard Athena stirring and had to hurry away before he was finished. Athena stepped outside and gazed out her wall where "UR fat" had been inscribed in coal. Graffiti had now been introduced into the world. The tension between the two groups was at its peak.
After several nights had passed, the two groups met in the street ready to brawl. Both sides rushed to find the nearest sticks and rocks. Each team started hurtling the rubble at their respective enemies, while others charged in and attacked each other with the rods, creating a bedlam. After several minutes of intense fighting, Athena, carrying her huge aegis, struck Hercules with a thunderbolt and knocked him unconscious. His followers fled in a panic, while Athena and her crew beat the fallen hero with sticks. The first gang war had ended.
When Hercules awakened he was in a hospital bed with severely broken bones, aggrandized bruises, and a nearly amorphous body. He realized he should never have been upset over Athena's statement and smiled. His Achilles' heel was no longer his sensitivity. He then said the now famous phrase: "Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me." He learned that violence is not the answer and peaceful solutions should be thought out. He no longer wanted to carry any antipathy for Athena and never quarreled with her again.
sorry it was so long. but i liked it. andway to go jared. miss you. <3