Left not knowing what's Right
Have you ever hated the feeling of being alive.
That sickening feeling that you have to wake up every morning in a repeated routine of things you would rather not do or deal with. The stagnated air that you breathe in stifles and suffocates you rather than sustain you. On some days, you find a glimmer of hope that makes the day ahead worth living out. On others, you plough on directionless waiting to chance upon something. There are times of ecstasy when you think you are onto something and the next minute you hit a wall of rejection that propels you straight down the deepest gouge of sadness. There are so many things left to do, but are they really the right things to be done. I feel that I am losing touch with the delicacy of life. I no longer feel like I know what is right, for me, for you and for others. I think I do, I thought I did, but maybe I do not. I hold on to a thin thread, one at a time to stay afloat. It keeps me alive one day at a time. I need to feel like I am living for a reason. To many, I live the life. To me, I struggle with my failures in life. Who really understands the life of another. Along the way, I have tried to shed away the shadow of insecurity and insufficiency of being me. Who really realizes where I have gone before. I think I am winning a little at a time, but the lonely struggle sometimes gets the better of me and clouds the way ahead. I yearn to be appreciated for being me. I want to love being me, but I am tired of being me. I have to be "me" to so many different people that most of the time, I am happier being me for myself.
Do you hear what I am saying. Who am I to you, and you and you?
That sickening feeling that you have to wake up every morning in a repeated routine of things you would rather not do or deal with. The stagnated air that you breathe in stifles and suffocates you rather than sustain you. On some days, you find a glimmer of hope that makes the day ahead worth living out. On others, you plough on directionless waiting to chance upon something. There are times of ecstasy when you think you are onto something and the next minute you hit a wall of rejection that propels you straight down the deepest gouge of sadness. There are so many things left to do, but are they really the right things to be done. I feel that I am losing touch with the delicacy of life. I no longer feel like I know what is right, for me, for you and for others. I think I do, I thought I did, but maybe I do not. I hold on to a thin thread, one at a time to stay afloat. It keeps me alive one day at a time. I need to feel like I am living for a reason. To many, I live the life. To me, I struggle with my failures in life. Who really understands the life of another. Along the way, I have tried to shed away the shadow of insecurity and insufficiency of being me. Who really realizes where I have gone before. I think I am winning a little at a time, but the lonely struggle sometimes gets the better of me and clouds the way ahead. I yearn to be appreciated for being me. I want to love being me, but I am tired of being me. I have to be "me" to so many different people that most of the time, I am happier being me for myself.
Do you hear what I am saying. Who am I to you, and you and you?