take the loaded gun to my head and pull the trigger and you all will understand what i go through.
seems like when things get better it dosnt last too long beucase als it does is go back to shit..
the other night when i was at amandas i realized how much i want to get out of conneticut. i had a dream that my aunt tanya rote me an email answering me if i could go down there and she said yes and i was soo fucking excited that i woke up crying..but come to find out i cheaked my email and it wasnt there.i was pissed. and i told my mom how much i want to go down and shes liek what are you crazy! i dont have the money for that shit and im like woa its only 100$ and hses like youll need spendding money and everything else and im like no i wont im just going down there to chill and to see the people who acually treat me like im something. So i came home from amandas and rote an email sending the dates that i want to go down and she hasnt emailed me back so im guessing i cant go wich like breaks me becuase NO ONE nows how much i wanna leave..one time i started packing shit to leave..but i wounldnt leave for good mayb just for like 3 months beucase i couldnt leave the people i met. i think in the summer time i wanna go down there for the whole time and not go to PA just to GA for the summer and acually haveing a worth wild summer. that would be nice. Shit at school is getting worse too. im starting to become my depressive self inschool where i dont give a fuck about anything. i dont do my HW and fail.. i think im gonna become a HS dropout. And quite frankly i cant talk to anyone anymore. i dont tell my therapist shit and who i do tell tell everyone else. im gonna stick with keeping shit inside me and just acually do what ive wanted to for a lonnngg time.. and shit between me and my friends arnt working out..told conor i was pissed at him and so we havnt talked for quite some time..i think he'll get over it though.
Seems like whatever i do weather its good or bad its not good enough for aynone else. i think im just gonna stop everything and become a fucking loser and just fail at everything.
~can someone tell me where i went rong?~
bye
the other night when i was at amandas i realized how much i want to get out of conneticut. i had a dream that my aunt tanya rote me an email answering me if i could go down there and she said yes and i was soo fucking excited that i woke up crying..but come to find out i cheaked my email and it wasnt there.i was pissed. and i told my mom how much i want to go down and shes liek what are you crazy! i dont have the money for that shit and im like woa its only 100$ and hses like youll need spendding money and everything else and im like no i wont im just going down there to chill and to see the people who acually treat me like im something. So i came home from amandas and rote an email sending the dates that i want to go down and she hasnt emailed me back so im guessing i cant go wich like breaks me becuase NO ONE nows how much i wanna leave..one time i started packing shit to leave..but i wounldnt leave for good mayb just for like 3 months beucase i couldnt leave the people i met. i think in the summer time i wanna go down there for the whole time and not go to PA just to GA for the summer and acually haveing a worth wild summer. that would be nice. Shit at school is getting worse too. im starting to become my depressive self inschool where i dont give a fuck about anything. i dont do my HW and fail.. i think im gonna become a HS dropout. And quite frankly i cant talk to anyone anymore. i dont tell my therapist shit and who i do tell tell everyone else. im gonna stick with keeping shit inside me and just acually do what ive wanted to for a lonnngg time.. and shit between me and my friends arnt working out..told conor i was pissed at him and so we havnt talked for quite some time..i think he'll get over it though.
Seems like whatever i do weather its good or bad its not good enough for aynone else. i think im just gonna stop everything and become a fucking loser and just fail at everything.
~can someone tell me where i went rong?~
bye