Hypoambitious
I haven't done this in a while.
Guess I'll post a bit, if I can keep myself interested.
Life itself is great, reality occasionally sucks.
KHII was fun, the story not so incredible. But I DO like the intro song.
Been wasting much time on XI.
Even after years of searching for something, and feeling it with my fingertips on occasion, I'm still left empty handed.
Of what? I just....don't know.
Am I okay?
To people I work with, I'm something abstract. Its been years since I really opened up to someone. And I want to...the only problem is that, I don't know what I want to open up about anymore.
I feel like I have lies to confess, dirty truths. I can remember sometimes, but maybe I've even lied to myself too much.
Its nothing serious tho'
I'll still wake up tomorrow (or today, as the current case is.) and be there. For those who ask for a hand. Who need help. Who want to talk.
I'm not bitter. "Mr. Reliable." I was called a few times. I don't mind it. I know people are there to catch me when I fall. To listen when I want to talk. I just...don't. I haven't. For years. I've always been very stoic. Maybe I've now become self-apathetic?
When I'm asked what I want to do, I can never really say. I think what I want is someone to follow. I want a reason to strive. Self-motivation is not a thing I've ever had. I could care less what I want for myself. (In many respects. not all.) Its gotten so far into that, that I find myself creating reasons to do things to be of use to others.
Why would I be like that? I was never held up to many responsibilities. Hell, when I am, I usually struggle, if its for my own benefit.
Maybe its normal to care more about what others need then yourself. Easier to motivate yourself. I know it is, but I feel like I'm very far gone in that attitude.
I guess its not that bad, if I'm worried enough to think and try to act upon this "problem."
Hmm...apathy.
I can't tell if writing this made me sad or content.
Guess I'll post a bit, if I can keep myself interested.
Life itself is great, reality occasionally sucks.
KHII was fun, the story not so incredible. But I DO like the intro song.
Been wasting much time on XI.
Even after years of searching for something, and feeling it with my fingertips on occasion, I'm still left empty handed.
Of what? I just....don't know.
Am I okay?
To people I work with, I'm something abstract. Its been years since I really opened up to someone. And I want to...the only problem is that, I don't know what I want to open up about anymore.
I feel like I have lies to confess, dirty truths. I can remember sometimes, but maybe I've even lied to myself too much.
Its nothing serious tho'
I'll still wake up tomorrow (or today, as the current case is.) and be there. For those who ask for a hand. Who need help. Who want to talk.
I'm not bitter. "Mr. Reliable." I was called a few times. I don't mind it. I know people are there to catch me when I fall. To listen when I want to talk. I just...don't. I haven't. For years. I've always been very stoic. Maybe I've now become self-apathetic?
When I'm asked what I want to do, I can never really say. I think what I want is someone to follow. I want a reason to strive. Self-motivation is not a thing I've ever had. I could care less what I want for myself. (In many respects. not all.) Its gotten so far into that, that I find myself creating reasons to do things to be of use to others.
Why would I be like that? I was never held up to many responsibilities. Hell, when I am, I usually struggle, if its for my own benefit.
Maybe its normal to care more about what others need then yourself. Easier to motivate yourself. I know it is, but I feel like I'm very far gone in that attitude.
I guess its not that bad, if I'm worried enough to think and try to act upon this "problem."
Hmm...apathy.
I can't tell if writing this made me sad or content.