I Could Always Steal A Baby!! ....... j/k

[livetoloveme]

Well have you ever felt like you are just going through the motions. well thats how i have been feeling recently. i mean i wake up and depending what day it is i go to work or school or school then work or w/e. and i hate it nothing exciting happens. every now in then i hang out with lynn when i have money cuz she likes to go places. and of course i hang out with carl basically everyday and most the time only after work. and i go to church but not once do i think i've gotten anything out of it. i guess that's why i keep going. maybe one day something will click. but not yet. like i believe in Jesus and all but i've just never been spiritually moved like others that have great stories. i just wish i couldn't draw a model of my day and you could follow it. but i guess that's just how its going to be for a while. lol. i just dont have a choice.

and i've been crying oooo so hard recently b/c i can't have my own kids. i know its not a big deal right now. but it will be i've always dreamed of a cute little wedding and then a couple years later i get a BIG belly with a baby in it but no... God wont let me have that joy. and i dont know why it just kills me inside that i know me and my husband will have to adopt and i know it will have none of either of us in it. but o'well the worst part is my parents most likely wont help pitch in on adoption fees. but i guess if its Gods way he will provide the money.

Well i gotta go get some food my tummy's calling.... peace out