6 Mon?
So it was actually about a week or so ago i looked at this day on my calendar and went "what the hell does '6 mon' mean?" Something i had written back in September for me to remember and look forward to.
Of course after thinking i was supposed to be hanging out with six jamaican guys today, i realized that i had written it to mean today was six months i was going out with kathryn. Can you say "Depressing smack in the face"?
I knew you could.
It's been a big suck, it really has. I mean this one past week hasn't been so shitty, but that's just because i've been burying myself in school activities, keeping myself at school working on the set and float, basterd seniors (woops, slipped), so i wouldn't be home to wallow in my self pitty. But now with homecoming and the float, basterd seniors, gone, all those shitty thoughts come back.
Along with the fact, that everyone knows that right after you've been dumped, it seems the whole friggin world is together or getting together, and happy, and all you're left with is some pictures of some hot chicks on the computer that you'll never meet, and you're right hand, actually left for me. And yeah i realize i always have the porn and my left hand, but now that's all i got (sorry Phill).
All this week, it's like there's been nothing i wanted more than to just have that time lying around on my bed, or on the floor, or anywhere, just in each other's arms talking and just being close.
My dad's bitching at me to go clean up from dinner, which is a whole other issue in itself, because i've done a lot of shit today, but i'll wrap it up.
I think probably one of the worst parts of the whole damn thing was the let down and reason. "I really wish it was something about you because then i know you would fix it." Isn't that a happy thought. It has nothing to do with me, apparently, but the ramifications have everything to do with me. So fair... really... isn't it?
And on that subject i'm going to leave you with this link, whcih was ironically, to me anyway, on the msn homepage that i found after checking my mail. It's really just for the girls to learn any other good ways to let guys down instead of...
"It's not you, it's me"
and
"Oh shit, i forgot i had a boyfriend"
Right Phill?
I'm done.