(no subject)
It's weird. Two days after I tell the people from the symphony I hung out with "I don't have friends", (meaning, really, "I don't have friends I get to hang out with hardly ever outside of work"), and one of them asks me to do something outside of work. Because of what we will be doing, I feel like it will be okay. (I never want to make any of them feel like they have to accept an invitation to do something from me, and I always worry about it coming across that way simply because I am their supervisor. Because of this, I had pretty much resigned myself to not pursuing a friendship outside of work with most of them, despite how much I have grown to appreciate and care for them as the wonderful individuals that they are). But she asked me, and in this particular context I doubt work will even come up.
I am going out with her on Friday night to a little club downtown called The Mission. Apparently she knows some of the people who will be performing. It is so far away from anything we do or talk about at work, which is perfect.
When I think of where I was last January...how alone I felt; how few people I knew...and how things are now, it amazes me. If I develop lasting relationships with any of these new people, I could really start to think of this place as home, which is something I desperately want to be able to do, because I like so many things about this area and I am going to be here indefinitely anyway.
So I guess I do have friends here...even if they are connected to work in some way, that is something. I really appreciate Liz, my co-worker's girlfriend. We live in the same building, and she moved here about six months after I did so she is going through pretty much the exact same thing I am as far as learning how to build a life completely from scratch. It is really hard, but we are doing it, and we are doing some of it together. I like that.
I was still pretty excited about Monday night and the prospect of making some friends outside of work, and now I have this to look forward to as well.
I have not had a lot of experience with this sort of feeling, so I was wondering what it was and it occurred to me the other day that maybe the reason things seem to be falling into place is because I found a way to be happy with myself first. Because I really am. I will always, I think, fight the impulse to come down hard on myself, but this is the most successful I have ever been at being comfortable with who I am right now. Maybe that had to happen first. Maybe there is an order to things that I am only just beginning to figure out.
I am going out with her on Friday night to a little club downtown called The Mission. Apparently she knows some of the people who will be performing. It is so far away from anything we do or talk about at work, which is perfect.
When I think of where I was last January...how alone I felt; how few people I knew...and how things are now, it amazes me. If I develop lasting relationships with any of these new people, I could really start to think of this place as home, which is something I desperately want to be able to do, because I like so many things about this area and I am going to be here indefinitely anyway.
So I guess I do have friends here...even if they are connected to work in some way, that is something. I really appreciate Liz, my co-worker's girlfriend. We live in the same building, and she moved here about six months after I did so she is going through pretty much the exact same thing I am as far as learning how to build a life completely from scratch. It is really hard, but we are doing it, and we are doing some of it together. I like that.
I was still pretty excited about Monday night and the prospect of making some friends outside of work, and now I have this to look forward to as well.
I have not had a lot of experience with this sort of feeling, so I was wondering what it was and it occurred to me the other day that maybe the reason things seem to be falling into place is because I found a way to be happy with myself first. Because I really am. I will always, I think, fight the impulse to come down hard on myself, but this is the most successful I have ever been at being comfortable with who I am right now. Maybe that had to happen first. Maybe there is an order to things that I am only just beginning to figure out.