(no subject)
I am afraid of this happiness. Things never seem to stay simple and blissful for long.
I keep having this weird feeling that is has taken me all week to recognize: hope. I have waited so long for this.
I got the promotion at work. I am no longer a front desk clerk (although I'm filling in for myself -lol- until we can hire somebody to replace my position at the desk). I am now the operations manager. Tomorrow is my first day where there's actually someone else coming in to run the desk so I can actually learn my new job.
I had been thinking about how much I would like to be making in the next year or two while still being realistic.
This job came with two offers, one with and one without health insurance. Since I don't qualify for the insurance yet anyway (haven't been with the company 90 days yet) I signed both and will be compensated at the rate for the option without health insurance until I qualify for it and then I'll be compensated at the lower rate but with insurance included. Between actual salary, benefits, and bonuses, either offer comes out to exactly what I wanted.
I just feel so much better - this is the break I have been working for for years. I feel like I have finally broken through the barrier that holds those of us without a college degree back. Finally, FINALLY, it doesn't matter anymore. I can move on and up without one, and from this point on, people in my field will just assume I have one unless I tell them otherwise, and my position and experience negates the stigma that is often associated with never having finished college.
I hope I can exceed everyone's expectations and excel at this job. I want the people who supported me and pushed for me to get this job to be proud of me.
I want to continue to be proud of myself. I'm not very proud, but I am a little proud. I know I wasn't the owners' first choice. I know my GM and the former operations manager who is becoming the director of sales spoke highly of me to the owners. But some of it was me, too. I interviewed well, both times. I have worked hard and impressed my supervisors and co-workers from day one in this place.
Three and a half weeks at one hotel that had been my dream job gone horribly wrong and six months in hell at the last hotel humbled me to the ground. I felt like I was running as fast as I could against an impossibly strong wind, and coming to this place was like the wind stopping all of a sudden while I continued to run at the same speed. It was worth it.
I have a church, a good job, I belong to a symphony, and I'm making friends.
This has all been so hard, but it's getting better. I feel like I am really a part of this community now; I have commitments to it and I bump into people I know all over the place.
I wanted to record this feeling in case it wears off. There have been several defining moments for me since moving here, and this is a big one. The last was playing in my first symphony concert here in February. It was a turning point. The one before that was the last day before I left to visit Ohio for Christmas with Dan. Ben (former co-worker) approached me at work and mentioned that his girlfriend was moving out here over the holidays and we should all get together sometime. I realized I had made my first friend. Suddenly I had hope that being here wasn't always going to be lonely and just years spent passing time until we can move back to Ohio.
I hope this lasts. I want it to last. I want to hold onto this feeling.
I keep having this weird feeling that is has taken me all week to recognize: hope. I have waited so long for this.
I got the promotion at work. I am no longer a front desk clerk (although I'm filling in for myself -lol- until we can hire somebody to replace my position at the desk). I am now the operations manager. Tomorrow is my first day where there's actually someone else coming in to run the desk so I can actually learn my new job.
I had been thinking about how much I would like to be making in the next year or two while still being realistic.
This job came with two offers, one with and one without health insurance. Since I don't qualify for the insurance yet anyway (haven't been with the company 90 days yet) I signed both and will be compensated at the rate for the option without health insurance until I qualify for it and then I'll be compensated at the lower rate but with insurance included. Between actual salary, benefits, and bonuses, either offer comes out to exactly what I wanted.
I just feel so much better - this is the break I have been working for for years. I feel like I have finally broken through the barrier that holds those of us without a college degree back. Finally, FINALLY, it doesn't matter anymore. I can move on and up without one, and from this point on, people in my field will just assume I have one unless I tell them otherwise, and my position and experience negates the stigma that is often associated with never having finished college.
I hope I can exceed everyone's expectations and excel at this job. I want the people who supported me and pushed for me to get this job to be proud of me.
I want to continue to be proud of myself. I'm not very proud, but I am a little proud. I know I wasn't the owners' first choice. I know my GM and the former operations manager who is becoming the director of sales spoke highly of me to the owners. But some of it was me, too. I interviewed well, both times. I have worked hard and impressed my supervisors and co-workers from day one in this place.
Three and a half weeks at one hotel that had been my dream job gone horribly wrong and six months in hell at the last hotel humbled me to the ground. I felt like I was running as fast as I could against an impossibly strong wind, and coming to this place was like the wind stopping all of a sudden while I continued to run at the same speed. It was worth it.
I have a church, a good job, I belong to a symphony, and I'm making friends.
This has all been so hard, but it's getting better. I feel like I am really a part of this community now; I have commitments to it and I bump into people I know all over the place.
I wanted to record this feeling in case it wears off. There have been several defining moments for me since moving here, and this is a big one. The last was playing in my first symphony concert here in February. It was a turning point. The one before that was the last day before I left to visit Ohio for Christmas with Dan. Ben (former co-worker) approached me at work and mentioned that his girlfriend was moving out here over the holidays and we should all get together sometime. I realized I had made my first friend. Suddenly I had hope that being here wasn't always going to be lonely and just years spent passing time until we can move back to Ohio.
I hope this lasts. I want it to last. I want to hold onto this feeling.