(no subject)
So, Emily, Steven and I just hung out for...hours. It was amazing in ways I cannot accurately describe to you all, because you would have to be crazy to understand why the things we talked about were hilarious. Take abuse, for example. Not funny. Really not. And yet.
We laughed until we fell onto the floor! I cried from laughing so hard. My face hurts.
It's a temporary high, one which Emily estimates we will all come crashing down from within a week or so, and she's probably right. But right now, I feel very connected and understood and comforted by people who have been through the same, or similar things as me.
If I'm going to cry, I'd rather it be because I'm laughing so hard than because I'm mourning what happened. Humor has a healing effect, I really believe that. Being able to joke about what once terrified, pained, and otherwise brought me down makes me stronger than it.
With each passing year, as I spend more time getting to know my friends who have been through these things, I feel more capable of dealing with what already happened and more capable of seeing red flags soon enough to keep myself from ending up in the same situations again.
I remember once thinking of Brian (M), "it's like God lined us up next to each other while we went through the same thing to get us both through it okay"--because we were both dealing with the same thing at the same time--and because we had each other at that point in our lives, we did get through it. I don't know what I would have done without him then. I don't know what he would have done without me.
To quote a movie I watched recently--"Maybe happiness is stringing together the little things...maybe we just get through it. Maybe that's all we can ask for."
I feel happy often, despite all the things I have burned into my memory. And while I may not have any one particularly big reason to feel happy, I feel like I do enough little things for others and others do enough little things for me that it all adds up, and it's enough. It always ends up being enough.
We laughed until we fell onto the floor! I cried from laughing so hard. My face hurts.
It's a temporary high, one which Emily estimates we will all come crashing down from within a week or so, and she's probably right. But right now, I feel very connected and understood and comforted by people who have been through the same, or similar things as me.
If I'm going to cry, I'd rather it be because I'm laughing so hard than because I'm mourning what happened. Humor has a healing effect, I really believe that. Being able to joke about what once terrified, pained, and otherwise brought me down makes me stronger than it.
With each passing year, as I spend more time getting to know my friends who have been through these things, I feel more capable of dealing with what already happened and more capable of seeing red flags soon enough to keep myself from ending up in the same situations again.
I remember once thinking of Brian (M), "it's like God lined us up next to each other while we went through the same thing to get us both through it okay"--because we were both dealing with the same thing at the same time--and because we had each other at that point in our lives, we did get through it. I don't know what I would have done without him then. I don't know what he would have done without me.
To quote a movie I watched recently--"Maybe happiness is stringing together the little things...maybe we just get through it. Maybe that's all we can ask for."
I feel happy often, despite all the things I have burned into my memory. And while I may not have any one particularly big reason to feel happy, I feel like I do enough little things for others and others do enough little things for me that it all adds up, and it's enough. It always ends up being enough.