Friends and dating in your thirties...
It's funny how people work - or at least the people I encounter. It seems the older I get, the more difficult it is to retain people in my life. I’m thinking this is the opposite of how it should be. I mean, when you're "growing up" of course you change, people change, people move, schools change - there are a variety of reasons why "friends" come and go throughout those years of your life. Then, in my twenties I was really learning about what truly matters and becoming the woman that I am today. All of things make perfect sense why people come in and out of your life. Now, at 34, I believe I'm the best I've ever been. I mean, sure I have all sorts of life's curveballs thrown at me that I have to deal with, but I'm pretty secure, dependable, loyal, honest, fun-loving, and have a pretty decent job. All of the things that have held me back in the past from doing things are pretty much changed - yet, I find it increasingly difficult to surround myself with good people - real people - people I want to call "friend". Sure I have tons and tons of acquaintances and if you go by my Myspace page, I think there’s about 170 people as "friends". Of course this isn't really the case as a lot of those are bands, clubs, or mere acquaintances. Only a few are people I actually spend time with consistently - and out of those only two or three of whom I would hold in confidence. When it comes to doing things, though, most of my real friends are in relationships - be it dating or marriage, they have someone they need to spend the better part of their weekends with (and rightfully so).
Me on the other hand, I can't seem to find a consistent relationship or friend who meets that need. I've been single for 4 1/2 years now and in that time I've had countless guys/dates/whatever and not one has been of any real significance (not that I didn't try - there were a couple during that time who I tried to make something work out of nothing). I've given up trying that. The worst part of this, for me, is that there are things I'd like to do like travel, the theatre, a movie, or even dinner at a certain restaurant that I can't do simply because I don't have someone to do these things with (again, back in my twenties it would've been much less of a problem finding someone for these things as I spent most of my twenties in a relationship and there were a lot more single friends - yet that's when money was a factor).
It's just so strange...I've never thought age really mattered for the important things, but it turns out that I guess it does.
Me on the other hand, I can't seem to find a consistent relationship or friend who meets that need. I've been single for 4 1/2 years now and in that time I've had countless guys/dates/whatever and not one has been of any real significance (not that I didn't try - there were a couple during that time who I tried to make something work out of nothing). I've given up trying that. The worst part of this, for me, is that there are things I'd like to do like travel, the theatre, a movie, or even dinner at a certain restaurant that I can't do simply because I don't have someone to do these things with (again, back in my twenties it would've been much less of a problem finding someone for these things as I spent most of my twenties in a relationship and there were a lot more single friends - yet that's when money was a factor).
It's just so strange...I've never thought age really mattered for the important things, but it turns out that I guess it does.