(no subject)
Two finals down, three to go. Tomorrow's Rhetoric final is going to be absolutely killer. And the best part is how little motivation I have to study for it. I have border-line grades in every class, I should be working my ass off, but I just don't care. Ugh. I just can't wait to get through this week.
Derek is driving me nuts, shocker. I hate how inconsistent he is. Tonight he came over and I made some comment about that, and he seemed annoyed by it. Whatever, it's not like he's never offended me. And I'm just bitter because he hangs out with Juli and Faith all the time, and hardly ever talks to me. It sucks when someone that has the ability to make you feel really special just stops. But that's just how it goes. I really ought to learn how to make myself feel special, that might be for the best.
Logan texted me twice tonight, then just stopped. I also hate how inconsistent he is. I know I'm not important to him, but that doesn't stop him from being so very important to me.
I miss Madi. Like crazy. She's the only one who usually gets me, even more than I get myself. I really fucked that up, and over absolutely nothing. I don't even talk to Kevin, ever. I just hated the way she was pushing me out of her life, then telling me that I had to kick Kevin out of mine without any explanation. Plus she wouldn't talk to me about it, which made me so stubborn. I don't get why I did what I did, it was really stupid and I hate myself for it.
I really don't like myself very much, it sucks. I never really have, but now its worse than ever. I've gotten into this habit of isolating myself, which doesn't help at all, and I've cried more in the past couple of months than I have in ages. I'm so glad for the few people who demand that I let them in, like Amy. I'm really lucky to have her in my life.
Fuck, I need to stop dwelling on my stupid problems and get to studying. Oh the joys of returning to livejournal....
Derek is driving me nuts, shocker. I hate how inconsistent he is. Tonight he came over and I made some comment about that, and he seemed annoyed by it. Whatever, it's not like he's never offended me. And I'm just bitter because he hangs out with Juli and Faith all the time, and hardly ever talks to me. It sucks when someone that has the ability to make you feel really special just stops. But that's just how it goes. I really ought to learn how to make myself feel special, that might be for the best.
Logan texted me twice tonight, then just stopped. I also hate how inconsistent he is. I know I'm not important to him, but that doesn't stop him from being so very important to me.
I miss Madi. Like crazy. She's the only one who usually gets me, even more than I get myself. I really fucked that up, and over absolutely nothing. I don't even talk to Kevin, ever. I just hated the way she was pushing me out of her life, then telling me that I had to kick Kevin out of mine without any explanation. Plus she wouldn't talk to me about it, which made me so stubborn. I don't get why I did what I did, it was really stupid and I hate myself for it.
I really don't like myself very much, it sucks. I never really have, but now its worse than ever. I've gotten into this habit of isolating myself, which doesn't help at all, and I've cried more in the past couple of months than I have in ages. I'm so glad for the few people who demand that I let them in, like Amy. I'm really lucky to have her in my life.
Fuck, I need to stop dwelling on my stupid problems and get to studying. Oh the joys of returning to livejournal....