2006
You know what? This year had its ups, but a lot of it was pretty shitty for me. I'm going to be glad to see it go and start over again. Let's see...
January. The only thing that got me through was working on Reckless with my girls. I was exhausted and stressed, kinda like right now.
February. Went all out for Ben on V-Day, threw a tea party for my friends, had a huge emotional breakdown that I don't care to remember.
March. Had a very disheartening conversation with Ben regarding our relationship. Found out, two days before my birthday, that Reckless didn't make it into Midstates. Went into my 17th year very much depressed.
April. Kicked serious ass on the ACT.
May. Had the worst stage-moment ever when I blanked out during Silent Heart. Got lost in Flint with Ben on our way to prom, ended up in tears after almost getting hit going the wrong way on a one-way street, made it to prom for like an hour...wasn't that great. Oh gosh, Midstates. Faced my fear by having to perform Silent Heart again. George de la Pena made me feel like the best goddamn dancer in the world. Fell right on my ass in Signature during the Gala performance. Won the Craft scholarship.
June. Took the SAT. Went to Joffrey and met the three most amazing roommates ever, not to mention all the other awesome people. Got into the highest level. Had a ton of fun.
July. Finished up Joffrey, went home for a week or so, flew out to Utah for Craft. Craft was not quite so fun--don't think I would go back, unless I was a choreographer--but still a valuable experience. Plus I didn't have to pay for it.
August. Came home from Craft, started dancing and choreographing for Summerdance. Broke up with Ben. It didn't hurt too much at the time.
September. Went back to school. Began the dreaded March of the College Apps. Nutcracker auditions; looked forward to tackling Dew Drop again.
October. Drove down to Indiana with my parents to audition for the best ballet program in the country, full of hope and naivety. Saw Julie Kent and Damian Woetzel perform. Went trick-or-treating for the first time in years with a bunch of old friends.
November. Rejected from Indiana. Cried some tears, got back into the studio. Soup days; Iyun arrived to do Doll and Arabian with me and Emma. Chris and I were spending a lot of time together and I was starting to get worried.
December. Starts off with a bang, literally, Chris and I get in a car accident on the highway on the 1st. It's amazing that we don't hit anyone else and we're both relatively unhurt. He says "I love you" in the moments after the accident and I'm not sure how to read it. Then there's the grand fouette fiasco, which leaves me crushed and humiliated and frustrated beyond belief. By performance time (the next day), I'm just sore and scared and don't at all feel like playing ballerina in front of thousands of people. I get through...not with the best technique...but whatever. I'm so tired I don't even care. Darrell comes in the next few days, and by now I'm really sore and my chest hurts from the accident. Still, he gives me solos, which I don't feel like I deserve. It's always amazing to work with him. Then we get some time off, although the teachers at school pile on the homework so it doesn't feel like a break at all. Christmas "break" creeps and crawls closer. Christmas is great. It makes me feel like a spoiled brat. The rest of the week flies by with more college crap, visiting relatives, and way too much cleaning.
I just erased the entire rant I just typed because I need to just get over it. I have even more work to do once the New Year comes, but don't we all.
January. The only thing that got me through was working on Reckless with my girls. I was exhausted and stressed, kinda like right now.
February. Went all out for Ben on V-Day, threw a tea party for my friends, had a huge emotional breakdown that I don't care to remember.
March. Had a very disheartening conversation with Ben regarding our relationship. Found out, two days before my birthday, that Reckless didn't make it into Midstates. Went into my 17th year very much depressed.
April. Kicked serious ass on the ACT.
May. Had the worst stage-moment ever when I blanked out during Silent Heart. Got lost in Flint with Ben on our way to prom, ended up in tears after almost getting hit going the wrong way on a one-way street, made it to prom for like an hour...wasn't that great. Oh gosh, Midstates. Faced my fear by having to perform Silent Heart again. George de la Pena made me feel like the best goddamn dancer in the world. Fell right on my ass in Signature during the Gala performance. Won the Craft scholarship.
June. Took the SAT. Went to Joffrey and met the three most amazing roommates ever, not to mention all the other awesome people. Got into the highest level. Had a ton of fun.
July. Finished up Joffrey, went home for a week or so, flew out to Utah for Craft. Craft was not quite so fun--don't think I would go back, unless I was a choreographer--but still a valuable experience. Plus I didn't have to pay for it.
August. Came home from Craft, started dancing and choreographing for Summerdance. Broke up with Ben. It didn't hurt too much at the time.
September. Went back to school. Began the dreaded March of the College Apps. Nutcracker auditions; looked forward to tackling Dew Drop again.
October. Drove down to Indiana with my parents to audition for the best ballet program in the country, full of hope and naivety. Saw Julie Kent and Damian Woetzel perform. Went trick-or-treating for the first time in years with a bunch of old friends.
November. Rejected from Indiana. Cried some tears, got back into the studio. Soup days; Iyun arrived to do Doll and Arabian with me and Emma. Chris and I were spending a lot of time together and I was starting to get worried.
December. Starts off with a bang, literally, Chris and I get in a car accident on the highway on the 1st. It's amazing that we don't hit anyone else and we're both relatively unhurt. He says "I love you" in the moments after the accident and I'm not sure how to read it. Then there's the grand fouette fiasco, which leaves me crushed and humiliated and frustrated beyond belief. By performance time (the next day), I'm just sore and scared and don't at all feel like playing ballerina in front of thousands of people. I get through...not with the best technique...but whatever. I'm so tired I don't even care. Darrell comes in the next few days, and by now I'm really sore and my chest hurts from the accident. Still, he gives me solos, which I don't feel like I deserve. It's always amazing to work with him. Then we get some time off, although the teachers at school pile on the homework so it doesn't feel like a break at all. Christmas "break" creeps and crawls closer. Christmas is great. It makes me feel like a spoiled brat. The rest of the week flies by with more college crap, visiting relatives, and way too much cleaning.
I just erased the entire rant I just typed because I need to just get over it. I have even more work to do once the New Year comes, but don't we all.