(no subject)
okay so i'm sure everyone has heard that song that say"Sick and tired of being sick and tired"....well that's exactly the way i feel now. U know it's days like these that u wonder, does life really have a purpose? cuz i sure as hell would like to know, why i'm going thru the things i'm going thru....i mean is there some big awesome outcome at the end of all this bull shit with family, siblings, friends, b.f...and just life in general? I swear sometimes i just feel like getting out of texas....and fucking start all over.
So my weekends was kinda okay, i hung out with my friends, and Derek, Christina and matt are officially over, he had been dating another girl, and she found out! so Derek and i hung out with her sunday night.i saw alot of my old "friends" i guess u could call them that...we went to Ash. Alkeks house, cuz they had some huge party, and we also went to nash's party too...OMG Travis West got ugly..he use to be such a cutie, but yeah Derek got to meet some of the ppl i use to hang out with. I got a bit drunk, and i kinda let Derek have it, it honestly wasn't my intentions cuz i know were not together anymore, but i guess when ur drunk you're more than likely to say whats on your mind. something that did kinda piss me off was the fact that Jackie kept wanting me to ditch Derek to go to some party w/ her, and i just didn't think it was too cool, cuz she kept calling me, and i love Derek i don't wanna go out and find some guy, and do all that shit that most girls on the rebond do, cuz i just honestly think there's hope for us to get back together, and i just don't wanna fuck anything up ya know? but i mean, i'm not like super pissed at her, i just want her to understand where i'm comming from..but yeah so after Chrissy droped derek and i off, we went to the playground, haha...poor kids! lol..but than my drunk ass had to crawl over the fence and thru my tiny ass windows it was crazy but i did it! but overall it was a fun night.than i got home, and my friend Eric called me,his g.f had dumped him earlier and he wanted some one to talk to but i was drunk so i have no idea what i told him, u know it's crazy cuz he was w/ this girl for 4 years but yet he was cheating on her with this other chic from Charlotte Russe, and than soposively he liked me too, but than when he gets dumped he calls me up practicly crying and sad and depressed, and in a way i just wanna be like well.....shit comes back to u...but i just couldn't so i listenedto him, cry and i just tried to be the best friend i could....(even though i was drunk...i tried)
than Derek calls me and we start going at it, about love, and at that point i'm still a little drunk, so i dont necesarily remember to much that was said, but i know at the end, i made sure to tell him, how much i really loved him, cuz honestly that's all i can do.
Today was just a straight up shitty day! i woke up late for class, and than didn't go..than i spent like 2 hours studying for my math test, than when i'm almost done, i get this phone call from my bro telling me that Jenn had told my mom that Derek was with me saturday night and i was pissed off, cuz i don't wanna fucking tell my parents anything anymore! and they just piss me off, so than i asked Jenny y she said that, and it just sucked so bad, cuz i'm so fucking tired of ppl just trying to butt into my life, my mom makes such a big fucking deal about Derek, and i hate it, i hate hiding all this shit! and than i sit ther and i tell my sis thinking i could trust her and than she has to say shit, so it just frusturated me, and i told her that she just needs to keep Derek's name outof her mouth, so by the time i go and take my test, i'm pissed, i was just crying, and i didn't even fucking try on the test, i was like fuck it so when i take my exam i'll just have that grade replace this test, cuz i didn't do good at all....So anywho than i go to the store, and have to wait to go home, cuz my dad has all this crap to do and i really just wanted to come home and lay down, and relax, just the same way my brother does when ever his lazy ass is at home, i swear he never does anything and he can get away with everything i hate this bull shit! so than i come home, get changed, than go to work, work was super busy, and than i call Derek and find out that he was getting a new bike and i was likecool i wanna see u tonight, cuz honestly he can so make my day! than he calls me and tells me he's gonna go out to eat, but that he'll stop by so i was like cool, so make sure that i get out on time, but than i call him and he didn't answer....than my bro starts saying the usual shit to me about Derek and i talked shit right back to him, about his money problem and that sure did shut him up! i'm so tired of ppl, i wish ppl could focus on thier own damn problems and fucking lay off mine, the only reason y i have these "problems" are because of them...ppl just need to focus on thier life, and get thier noses out other ppls lifes.
I can't wait till i'm in Denton, i know that in a way it'll be like running from my problems, but one u try doing everything else, and it doesn' work than ur only option is to run!
So my weekends was kinda okay, i hung out with my friends, and Derek, Christina and matt are officially over, he had been dating another girl, and she found out! so Derek and i hung out with her sunday night.i saw alot of my old "friends" i guess u could call them that...we went to Ash. Alkeks house, cuz they had some huge party, and we also went to nash's party too...OMG Travis West got ugly..he use to be such a cutie, but yeah Derek got to meet some of the ppl i use to hang out with. I got a bit drunk, and i kinda let Derek have it, it honestly wasn't my intentions cuz i know were not together anymore, but i guess when ur drunk you're more than likely to say whats on your mind. something that did kinda piss me off was the fact that Jackie kept wanting me to ditch Derek to go to some party w/ her, and i just didn't think it was too cool, cuz she kept calling me, and i love Derek i don't wanna go out and find some guy, and do all that shit that most girls on the rebond do, cuz i just honestly think there's hope for us to get back together, and i just don't wanna fuck anything up ya know? but i mean, i'm not like super pissed at her, i just want her to understand where i'm comming from..but yeah so after Chrissy droped derek and i off, we went to the playground, haha...poor kids! lol..but than my drunk ass had to crawl over the fence and thru my tiny ass windows it was crazy but i did it! but overall it was a fun night.than i got home, and my friend Eric called me,his g.f had dumped him earlier and he wanted some one to talk to but i was drunk so i have no idea what i told him, u know it's crazy cuz he was w/ this girl for 4 years but yet he was cheating on her with this other chic from Charlotte Russe, and than soposively he liked me too, but than when he gets dumped he calls me up practicly crying and sad and depressed, and in a way i just wanna be like well.....shit comes back to u...but i just couldn't so i listenedto him, cry and i just tried to be the best friend i could....(even though i was drunk...i tried)
than Derek calls me and we start going at it, about love, and at that point i'm still a little drunk, so i dont necesarily remember to much that was said, but i know at the end, i made sure to tell him, how much i really loved him, cuz honestly that's all i can do.
Today was just a straight up shitty day! i woke up late for class, and than didn't go..than i spent like 2 hours studying for my math test, than when i'm almost done, i get this phone call from my bro telling me that Jenn had told my mom that Derek was with me saturday night and i was pissed off, cuz i don't wanna fucking tell my parents anything anymore! and they just piss me off, so than i asked Jenny y she said that, and it just sucked so bad, cuz i'm so fucking tired of ppl just trying to butt into my life, my mom makes such a big fucking deal about Derek, and i hate it, i hate hiding all this shit! and than i sit ther and i tell my sis thinking i could trust her and than she has to say shit, so it just frusturated me, and i told her that she just needs to keep Derek's name outof her mouth, so by the time i go and take my test, i'm pissed, i was just crying, and i didn't even fucking try on the test, i was like fuck it so when i take my exam i'll just have that grade replace this test, cuz i didn't do good at all....So anywho than i go to the store, and have to wait to go home, cuz my dad has all this crap to do and i really just wanted to come home and lay down, and relax, just the same way my brother does when ever his lazy ass is at home, i swear he never does anything and he can get away with everything i hate this bull shit! so than i come home, get changed, than go to work, work was super busy, and than i call Derek and find out that he was getting a new bike and i was likecool i wanna see u tonight, cuz honestly he can so make my day! than he calls me and tells me he's gonna go out to eat, but that he'll stop by so i was like cool, so make sure that i get out on time, but than i call him and he didn't answer....than my bro starts saying the usual shit to me about Derek and i talked shit right back to him, about his money problem and that sure did shut him up! i'm so tired of ppl, i wish ppl could focus on thier own damn problems and fucking lay off mine, the only reason y i have these "problems" are because of them...ppl just need to focus on thier life, and get thier noses out other ppls lifes.
I can't wait till i'm in Denton, i know that in a way it'll be like running from my problems, but one u try doing everything else, and it doesn' work than ur only option is to run!