Be grateful
The amount of moaning I see happening around me shocks me. It horrifies me more that I can be worse at complaining than everyone else put together.
Which is why I was relieved this morning when, while having a wash, I realised how lucky I am to have such great friends, even if the sad truth is that we don't keep in contact very well any more.
You see, I caught the beginning of Come Dine With Me last night, a TV programme about someone cooking a meal for a few other people they've never met before. One of the guests was a man whom Channel 4 describes as "one of Blackpool's infamous drag queens". The other diners and the cook recognised him fairly early on and for the rest of what I saw they became terribly awkward around him. Since I was not in my own lounge but with family - rather than just turning the telly off or ranting at it, my defences kicked in and I started laughing at how everyone always clams up when they meet someone who is on the tg spectrum. Well, I don't know for sure if drag queens and kings are transgender folk, but if they aren't then the same goes for them in this instance.
Anyway, the point of all that was how if people find that man's situation confusing - that he's happy as a man and enjoys dressing as a woman - then they should meet my friends. I say that jokingly, affectionately, but also seriously. I don't know whether I understand them or not - maybe I do, or maybe I choose to ignore their gender and sexualities and just get on with enjoying being their friends. What frustrates me more is when some people try to invoke a reaction from me. Generally it shocks me into stumbling through an "well... yeah... it's... okay..." awkwardness that isn't really me. Maybe I should try to form a statement for them.
I guess what makes me slip into that awkwardness is working out how it ties in with my faith. For the last time, the Bible doesn't say God hates gays or you shouldn't be gay. What it does say in my knowledge is in relation to sex, i.e., it says men, don't have sex with men. Since it's part of the Jewish law, perhaps we don't even know that it's applicable to 21st Century Christians anyway, but I'm not getting into that argument because I'm already off topic. I shall just finish this tangent with how what the Bible says that I know to be true in my heart is that God loves you. And if God loves you, Jesus loves you, and if Jesus loves you then I gotta love you too. So what's awkward about that? Well, I dunno whether what you do is right or not in the eyes of God, but if you don't believe or follow him then telling you that isn't going to make much difference to your lifestyle anyway - other than maybe walking on the other side of the street to me next time.
Moving back to the point in hand - after all, this post started off with thinking about my transgen friends and then went onto my gay friends - but you're all my friends anyway and some of you are both, so. I really struggled several years ago when I tried to explain to another Christian that one of my friends would rather be called a girl's name than their birth name. He accused me on several occasions of saying that God had made a mistake when he made my friends. Even though he has more theological backing than me, I still feel like he had no right to tell me that. I mean, it made me walk away from my faith as a Christian at the time - because how could a God of Love be saying that he hated my friends?
This is why I would like to say thank you to my friend Abby for showing me that even if one Christian, no matter how much more they know about God, says something like that, it doesn't mean that each Christian thinks the same or that I had to believe the same.
I don't think that God hates anybody, and I don't think that was what the previous Christian meant. I still don't really know what he was on about though. See the bit about awkwardness 3 paragraphs ago as I go back to the point. Perhaps it's not the right method, but maybe what I do is just ignore the theology and get on with the lovin'. As I said, what I know is that God loves, so that's what I will do. Maybe one day I'll make a statement for the beliefs again.
Anyway, my friends. If I think they're complicated then they must think I'm even more so - in that kind of been there, done that, and gone back to how I was type story - sparing the details. What I will say is - Adam, Nathan, Johanna, Paul - thank you for being there through those weird years of mine. Love you lots.
Now to set about making something purple for another amazing friend who is in need of cheering up and majorly getting better. I get to see her again tomorrow in hosp - I'm a little scared in case she is as bad as she says - I've never seen someone with a feeding tube and stuff. I pray both of us and our other friends who are coming along will be strong for each other.
I love you all xxx
Which is why I was relieved this morning when, while having a wash, I realised how lucky I am to have such great friends, even if the sad truth is that we don't keep in contact very well any more.
You see, I caught the beginning of Come Dine With Me last night, a TV programme about someone cooking a meal for a few other people they've never met before. One of the guests was a man whom Channel 4 describes as "one of Blackpool's infamous drag queens". The other diners and the cook recognised him fairly early on and for the rest of what I saw they became terribly awkward around him. Since I was not in my own lounge but with family - rather than just turning the telly off or ranting at it, my defences kicked in and I started laughing at how everyone always clams up when they meet someone who is on the tg spectrum. Well, I don't know for sure if drag queens and kings are transgender folk, but if they aren't then the same goes for them in this instance.
Anyway, the point of all that was how if people find that man's situation confusing - that he's happy as a man and enjoys dressing as a woman - then they should meet my friends. I say that jokingly, affectionately, but also seriously. I don't know whether I understand them or not - maybe I do, or maybe I choose to ignore their gender and sexualities and just get on with enjoying being their friends. What frustrates me more is when some people try to invoke a reaction from me. Generally it shocks me into stumbling through an "well... yeah... it's... okay..." awkwardness that isn't really me. Maybe I should try to form a statement for them.
I guess what makes me slip into that awkwardness is working out how it ties in with my faith. For the last time, the Bible doesn't say God hates gays or you shouldn't be gay. What it does say in my knowledge is in relation to sex, i.e., it says men, don't have sex with men. Since it's part of the Jewish law, perhaps we don't even know that it's applicable to 21st Century Christians anyway, but I'm not getting into that argument because I'm already off topic. I shall just finish this tangent with how what the Bible says that I know to be true in my heart is that God loves you. And if God loves you, Jesus loves you, and if Jesus loves you then I gotta love you too. So what's awkward about that? Well, I dunno whether what you do is right or not in the eyes of God, but if you don't believe or follow him then telling you that isn't going to make much difference to your lifestyle anyway - other than maybe walking on the other side of the street to me next time.
Moving back to the point in hand - after all, this post started off with thinking about my transgen friends and then went onto my gay friends - but you're all my friends anyway and some of you are both, so. I really struggled several years ago when I tried to explain to another Christian that one of my friends would rather be called a girl's name than their birth name. He accused me on several occasions of saying that God had made a mistake when he made my friends. Even though he has more theological backing than me, I still feel like he had no right to tell me that. I mean, it made me walk away from my faith as a Christian at the time - because how could a God of Love be saying that he hated my friends?
This is why I would like to say thank you to my friend Abby for showing me that even if one Christian, no matter how much more they know about God, says something like that, it doesn't mean that each Christian thinks the same or that I had to believe the same.
I don't think that God hates anybody, and I don't think that was what the previous Christian meant. I still don't really know what he was on about though. See the bit about awkwardness 3 paragraphs ago as I go back to the point. Perhaps it's not the right method, but maybe what I do is just ignore the theology and get on with the lovin'. As I said, what I know is that God loves, so that's what I will do. Maybe one day I'll make a statement for the beliefs again.
Anyway, my friends. If I think they're complicated then they must think I'm even more so - in that kind of been there, done that, and gone back to how I was type story - sparing the details. What I will say is - Adam, Nathan, Johanna, Paul - thank you for being there through those weird years of mine. Love you lots.
Now to set about making something purple for another amazing friend who is in need of cheering up and majorly getting better. I get to see her again tomorrow in hosp - I'm a little scared in case she is as bad as she says - I've never seen someone with a feeding tube and stuff. I pray both of us and our other friends who are coming along will be strong for each other.
I love you all xxx