There's always something in the way, there's always something getting through...
Sometimes ignorance wrings true.
I want someone to know what's wrong with me, the real me, the me I don't talk about.
And it's weird because I've thought I could always talk about anything about myself, but it's not true, I can't tell you ANYTHING I want you to know.
I guess I'm ready to talk about ME and shit like that,
but I don't think you're ready to talk about me and accept that.
Because I've spent most of my waking life trying to accept it myself.
No matter what I do I can't- but I can learn to cope- I can't learn to live with it, because sadly the books don't tell much about that type of shit.
So I'll learn on my own, but I really want you there for me, to listen to me and to not judge me.
I don't want to be forced into the wrong path of any sort.
I want you to understand that I don't quite understand myself, but you'll never believe that I couldn't believe in myself to live life anymore.
I can't believe that life has a point, and we'll all have to understand.
I wish Gotshall were here so I could talk to him and ask him anything all in my head.
Because I don't think I could tell it to his face, in front of him, while he's concious and what not.
I want to kill myself.
There I said it.
I want to so bad, but I can't-
I can't knowing that you don't understand why, and I can't knowing that you don't accept it.
For now I'll strive to get you to understand that life just really wasn't meant for me at all.
I want someone to know what's wrong with me, the real me, the me I don't talk about.
And it's weird because I've thought I could always talk about anything about myself, but it's not true, I can't tell you ANYTHING I want you to know.
I guess I'm ready to talk about ME and shit like that,
but I don't think you're ready to talk about me and accept that.
Because I've spent most of my waking life trying to accept it myself.
No matter what I do I can't- but I can learn to cope- I can't learn to live with it, because sadly the books don't tell much about that type of shit.
So I'll learn on my own, but I really want you there for me, to listen to me and to not judge me.
I don't want to be forced into the wrong path of any sort.
I want you to understand that I don't quite understand myself, but you'll never believe that I couldn't believe in myself to live life anymore.
I can't believe that life has a point, and we'll all have to understand.
I wish Gotshall were here so I could talk to him and ask him anything all in my head.
Because I don't think I could tell it to his face, in front of him, while he's concious and what not.
I want to kill myself.
There I said it.
I want to so bad, but I can't-
I can't knowing that you don't understand why, and I can't knowing that you don't accept it.
For now I'll strive to get you to understand that life just really wasn't meant for me at all.