☆020- And the nameless names on the misspelled graves grow tall.

[live_ringer]

Lockon, also known as Aim, is gone.

[Unless there is something in the following comments that needs to be addressed, don't expect a response.]

((ooc: This entry is going up on March 19th. Below will be threads for quicklogs with the people that were told in person on the 18th.))

Comments

[quicklog prelude--the night of the 17th]

[live_ringer]

[After Neil's abrupt disappearance, Lyle had not been in much of a mood to do anything beyond throwing something against the wall and drinking moodily. However, in the midst of his small bout of anger Haro had come forth with something held in its little hands.

Important! Important! Lockon!

At first he thought the little bot had gotten confused once more, taking him for Lockon now that Neil had poofed (not that he didn't qualify as a Lockon, but still). Instead, once he picked up the little notebook, he realized Haro was talking about Lockon. It seemed he had trained Haro for just such a situation, because within the notebook were notes. Not just any notes, but Neil's recorded memories, dreams, and personalized notes meant to be distributed in case Neil disappeared.

He sank down on a nearby futon and read it all while a chorus of plaintive Lockon, Lockon cries served as a backdrop. Reading the note that Neil had left him... all the aimless anger had drained away, leaving a strange, numb hollowness in it's place.

The rest would be taken care of later. As much as Neil seemed to have a habit of disappearing... this time he had taken pains to say goodbye. That was new and felt significant as a result. It wouldn't go to waste, either, but he wouldn't, couldn't deal with being the bearer of bad news tonight.

He started the long walk back to Stellaris's place, now followed by a little orange companion that, somehow, managed to roll sadly behind him.]

[quicklog--Krile] Weapon's Tree--Late Morning

[live_ringer]

[Part of him had considered visiting Target first. But really, the first person that would notice and be alarmed by Neil's absence would be Krile.

So he found himself walking through the door of the Weapons Tree. It occurred to him this wasn't the best place for this, but there didn't seem to be much for it.]

[quicklog--Krile] Weapon's Tree--Late Morning

[feathered_earth]

[Krile had been a little surprised to arrive at the shop and find that she was the first one there, but while Neil is usually there early, it's not unheard of for him to be a bit late.

The lurking worry she has over any of her friends being late is there, but it's something she can push to the background, so she's just finished getting things set up for today when Lyle walks in.]

Oh, hello! [Her friendly smile fades a little when she sees the look on his face.] ...Is something the matter?

[quicklog--Krile]

[live_ringer]

[So she could see it in his face. That made this a little easier. Of course 'a little easier' still meant it would be damned hard. He stops when he's only a couple of feet away from her.]

Neil won't be coming in. [A small pause and then he holds up Neil's journal, more of a non-verbal signal to prepare her for what was coming than anything.] ...He's gone, Krile.

[quicklog--Krile]

[feathered_earth]

[Krile's insides freeze when he holds up the journal--she knows what it means. That seems to have been the signal for any time someone else has given her the bad news about a friend, starting from Tatsu.

But to hear the words still feels like a punch to the gut. She stares up at him, then at the book in his hand. Then she spins on her heel and grabs the edge of the counter with one hand, shutting her eyes tight. Part of her wants to protest, even though she knows better. What should she even say... thank him for telling her? This wasn't Simon or Bastet with whatever means they had to find lost journals. This was Lyle's brother.

This had to be worse for him than it was for her, as much as she loved Neil. So she can't let him see her cry. Even if she knows that this is not an effective way of doing that, maybe she can pull herself together long enough to... something. Say something, although the thought of speaking seems insurmountable just now. Hug him. Do something other than turn away like a child. But a sudden, loud sniff makes it clear that it might not be possible.]

[quicklog--Krile]

[live_ringer]

[It isn't really surprising to see that Krile is doing her damnedest to hold it together. She has always been a girl that prides her self on being strong and self sufficient. All that aside, she is still a kid who just lost someone close to her. And really, it would be good if someone could cry. For his own part, he has reached a plateau of numbness and internalization that makes it difficult to contemplate it.

She shouldn't have to be like that.

He closes the distance and stands beside her, one arm looped around her shoulders and a hand resting on the side of her head in a side-hug. The yawning feeling in his chest tells him this is as much for his benefit as it is for hers.]

[quicklog--Krile]

[feathered_earth]

[It's a short battle against the tears, one Krile loses as soon as she feels the touch of Lyle's hand. But she's grateful nonetheless. Much as she hates letting anyone see her cry, being alone right now would be infinitely worse. The advice to assume that people just go home when they disappear seems hollower than ever at moments like this.

She leans into him for a moment, then turns and just wraps her arms around him. Part of her, a quiet part, feels bad for crying on him but she's sure he needs a hug just as much as she does. Even though she never quite understood the way Lyle and Neil were with each other, they're brothers and she can't think that they didn't love each other on some level.]

I'm sorry.

[She's said those words a lot and they often seem useless, but right now they're for a lot of things. For breaking down, that Neil is gone, that Lyle has to be the one to tell people and might even have seen him vanish.]

[quicklog--Krile]

[live_ringer]

[If she were to voice her thoughts on how flat the whole 'going home' theory falls, he would have to say he agreed. Particularly in this case, after seeing that Lyle's suspicions about Neil's death were mirrored in his brother's personal notes.

Hearing her cry like that almost hurts as much as seeing the disappearance, but it isn't anything he would begrudge her. He simply returns the embrace, rubbing her back a little.]

Me too.

[quicklog--Krile]

[feathered_earth]

[For a few moments, she tries to think of something else to say, but nothing comes to mind. As the seconds go by the truth seems to settle in deeper. But she doesn't have much of an instinct to deny in any case.

She holds onto him while she waits for the sobs to die down, wishing she could be just a little stronger right now. She thought she was getting too used to people disappearing. Apparently that's not so.

But she's able to bring them to a stop after a time. She loosens her grip, though she doesn't let go.]

Sorry. I--thank you. For coming to tell me.

[It comes out as a murmur, but she still feels the need to say it despite her earlier hesitance. It's such a painful thing to have to do.]

[quicklog--Krile]

[live_ringer]

[When her hold relaxes a little he leans back and looks her in the face. His expression isn't wavering, but it looks like an attempt at a smile that didn't make it even half way there.]

Didn't think the journals were the place for it.

[The journal he had kept in his hand while holding her is slipped in a pocket and in its stead he pulls out an envelope.]

Besides that, he did leave something for you. It seemed best to go ahead and give that to you.

((ooc: The note's not written yet, but once it is I can send it your way.))

[quicklog--Krile]

[feathered_earth]

[Krile nods, making no attempt to smile herself. It doesn't make it easier to learn, but it's kinder.

She takes a moment to wipe her eyes with a cuff, watching silently as Lyle gets the note out of his pocket.]

Oh... all right.

[She reaches out and takes hold of the envelope, feeling more leaden than shaky. It feels like she should say more, but there don't seem to be many words. Though she does know what this is. Krile's written a letter of her own to be shown to her friends in case she disappears or dies without returning.]

((ooc: All righty o/ ))

[quicklog--Krile]

[live_ringer]

[He doesn't really have much to add after giving her that, but... just walking away and leaving her alone like this doesn't seem like an option at the moment. So he'll settle in to sit with her for a bit before heading on.

...Or until the moment where a patron steps into the shop and mistakes him for Lockon, which would be the awkward cue that he should be on his way.]

[quicklog--Target] Target's home--Evening

[live_ringer]

[It had taken a bit of research to find the right address, but one thing Lyle knew for sure was that he did not want to do this at Adventurer's HQ. Too public and potentially messy for all involved. Plus, the time spent figuring things out had allowed him to go on autopilot.

Now he would have to come back online and register on the scale of human emotions once more. THAT would be the hard part. Lyle adjusted the rifle slung across his back before sighing heavily and knocking on the door.]

Re: [quicklog--Target] Target's home--Evening

[letmefollow]

[Hawkeye had just poured herself a cup of tea and was about to start reading a novel she had picked up that afternoon at the book store when Hayate lifted his head from his forepaws and looked at the door just seconds before there was a knock at her door.

Frowning, she got to her feet and went to answer it, leaving her tea and her book on the side table. The brother she saw on the other side was not the one she would have expected to have come and paid her a visit]
Gene? I mean Lyle, sorry. I still haven't quite got used to Lyle yet.

[She noticed the rifle bag slung over his shoulder and then the look on his face. Then she registered that it was Neil's rifle bag, and suddenly her stomach felt tight and her blood ran cold.]

Something's happened to Neil.

[Hayate picked up on the tension and nudged his nose against his mistress' palm as Hawkeye gestured for Lyle to come inside.]

[quicklog--Target]

[live_ringer]

[The pale, stricken look on her face was harder to take than he'd anticipated, and he hadn't even dropped the news yet. Still, she had taken the first step by breaching the subject. One less duty he'd have to perform.

He simply nodded, and stepped inside as instructed.]

You're right. [He waited until the door was closed and they were well and truly inside. After swallowing around a dry throat his words came out sounding dull and hollow.] Target... Neil's disappeared. [His gaze rose to meet her eyes.] I'm sorry.

[quicklog--Target]

[letmefollow]

[She knew what he was going to say before the words even left his mouth, and had braced herself for them. Still, the finality of them stuck her hard.

'Neil's disappeared.'

He had stayed over the before. They'd woken up together, had breakfast, walked to the Bazaar. Promised they'd see each other later.

Later wasn't coming.

Some of his clothes were in her dresser, there was Guinness in her fridge-

She took a deep breath, willed herself to stay calm.

This wasn't easy on Lyle either. She couldn't afford to let herself go to pieces.]

Please sit down Lyle. Would you like some tea?

[He looked shaken. The poor man had just lost his brother. Again.

Her chest hurt.]