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Ok..I haven't updated in a while but today I am.
Last night alot happend...I found out that Micah(kerri's lil bro that is 14) is going to be a daddy. Also I had to break up a couple last night. I know it doesn't sound like much and it really wasn't but I had a very in deepth conversation with the girl and talked with her about her life and how she has been rapped alot and stuff.I also was worried about another girl b/c she could have O.D'ed last night b/c of how stressed out she was.Also when we were walking to carols after church so I could call my parents to tell them to come pick me up...Kerri,casey and I were talking about something(I can't remember what) and kerri got every word I said and casey didn't (which made me laugh b/c we were talking about a very plane thing like always and he doesn't get those) So I keep laughing b/c it was funny and kerri was like "casey you Idiot!" which just made me laugh still...then kerri keep giving me looks which made me laugh and so the whole way to carols I was laughing. Then casey said "Fine if your not going to tell me then I'm not talking to you." and he power walked off...which I was just playing around(which was stupid and immature of me) and said "fine then I won't talk to you for like a month" and kerri said "oohh casey your grounded" and we just walked on to carols...I thought casey was kidding but by the time I hit carols I realized he wasn't...but I still didn't talk to him. I went in and called my dad and then went and talked to kelly(one of carols girls) while I was in there kerri and casey left. I told kerri bye and waved at casey. That was last night.
Today or this morning...I was sitting at the lunch table by kerri and christina and I had just said something to christina about my mom. Then I turned to kerri to tell her the same thing and a little more b/c I was gonna tell her about how my mom was all like "whats going on with kerri??" and kerri laughed and talked with me and casey didn't hear it but it didn't consern(spelling?) him anyway. He was like "what?" and I just said nevermind... Then he sat there real still and then daniel was like "your g/f is immature." Which made me sad...So christina wanted to leave so we left. Then at lunch I was left alone except for daniel...Kerri ignored me all lunch...casey was gone the entire time and christina and kara left me...I didn't know anything was bothering anyone...I had a hunch that kerri was mad at me but when I asked her about it she said no. ad just smiled and walked off. So I thought ok...I guess I was wrong.
Then just a while ago on the phone I was talking with casey and he went into his room and said "You hurt me"
"I did?!?!? I'm sorry"
"Yeah you did."
"How?"
"You made me feel like an Idiot."
"I'm so sorry.Will you forgive me?"
"Yes."
then like a min. or less later he said "Plus you've been hanging out with christina and like no one else."
"..." I couldn't say anything to that...In a way I think I got defensive b/c I said "Thats b/c she hasn't got to spend any time with me and she has been missing me and been left out."
then I don't think I said much of anything for a long time after that.I just sat there shacking b/c I was trying not to cry. Then I told casey me and christina we gonna try out for mat maids if kerri wanted to give it a try with us.I told him that they had a rep. for being floor whores...and he didn't know what that ment.He asked me if they mopped the floors or something...Normally I would have laughed at his cute never knowing ANYTHING that is like common sense to other ppl...but I didn't...I very sternly (I think it was but I prob. sounded stupid b/c my voice was being held back b/c I was trying not to cry.) said...They are called that b/c they are usually skanks and you know nasty ppl...get it...floor whores! (I said something like that.) he said...oh...well I bet you guys ca change that. I said yeah if we can make it...Then I got off the phone b/c I was about to burst and so I told him I had to take a shower and wash my hair. So I did go take a shower to make me feel better. It did...prob. b/c I just sat in the floor of that shower with hot water pooring on my while I cried. I cried for like 20 min strait or so. I feel better now that I have it all out...but it still feels crappy and It makes me want to go to school tomorrow and just not say a word to anybody...maybe wave but not say anything to anybody and see if they even notice I'm alive...ususally...idk y...but I feel like I'm not alive to anyone.That I'm just some person that casey knows and kerri is just friends with b/c she miss's david so much that no one else matters. I barely get to see christina and I figure I am over doing it b/c I'm crying right now...but still...oh well...feels like I have more to say but nothing I want to type. Later
Last night alot happend...I found out that Micah(kerri's lil bro that is 14) is going to be a daddy. Also I had to break up a couple last night. I know it doesn't sound like much and it really wasn't but I had a very in deepth conversation with the girl and talked with her about her life and how she has been rapped alot and stuff.I also was worried about another girl b/c she could have O.D'ed last night b/c of how stressed out she was.Also when we were walking to carols after church so I could call my parents to tell them to come pick me up...Kerri,casey and I were talking about something(I can't remember what) and kerri got every word I said and casey didn't (which made me laugh b/c we were talking about a very plane thing like always and he doesn't get those) So I keep laughing b/c it was funny and kerri was like "casey you Idiot!" which just made me laugh still...then kerri keep giving me looks which made me laugh and so the whole way to carols I was laughing. Then casey said "Fine if your not going to tell me then I'm not talking to you." and he power walked off...which I was just playing around(which was stupid and immature of me) and said "fine then I won't talk to you for like a month" and kerri said "oohh casey your grounded" and we just walked on to carols...I thought casey was kidding but by the time I hit carols I realized he wasn't...but I still didn't talk to him. I went in and called my dad and then went and talked to kelly(one of carols girls) while I was in there kerri and casey left. I told kerri bye and waved at casey. That was last night.
Today or this morning...I was sitting at the lunch table by kerri and christina and I had just said something to christina about my mom. Then I turned to kerri to tell her the same thing and a little more b/c I was gonna tell her about how my mom was all like "whats going on with kerri??" and kerri laughed and talked with me and casey didn't hear it but it didn't consern(spelling?) him anyway. He was like "what?" and I just said nevermind... Then he sat there real still and then daniel was like "your g/f is immature." Which made me sad...So christina wanted to leave so we left. Then at lunch I was left alone except for daniel...Kerri ignored me all lunch...casey was gone the entire time and christina and kara left me...I didn't know anything was bothering anyone...I had a hunch that kerri was mad at me but when I asked her about it she said no. ad just smiled and walked off. So I thought ok...I guess I was wrong.
Then just a while ago on the phone I was talking with casey and he went into his room and said "You hurt me"
"I did?!?!? I'm sorry"
"Yeah you did."
"How?"
"You made me feel like an Idiot."
"I'm so sorry.Will you forgive me?"
"Yes."
then like a min. or less later he said "Plus you've been hanging out with christina and like no one else."
"..." I couldn't say anything to that...In a way I think I got defensive b/c I said "Thats b/c she hasn't got to spend any time with me and she has been missing me and been left out."
then I don't think I said much of anything for a long time after that.I just sat there shacking b/c I was trying not to cry. Then I told casey me and christina we gonna try out for mat maids if kerri wanted to give it a try with us.I told him that they had a rep. for being floor whores...and he didn't know what that ment.He asked me if they mopped the floors or something...Normally I would have laughed at his cute never knowing ANYTHING that is like common sense to other ppl...but I didn't...I very sternly (I think it was but I prob. sounded stupid b/c my voice was being held back b/c I was trying not to cry.) said...They are called that b/c they are usually skanks and you know nasty ppl...get it...floor whores! (I said something like that.) he said...oh...well I bet you guys ca change that. I said yeah if we can make it...Then I got off the phone b/c I was about to burst and so I told him I had to take a shower and wash my hair. So I did go take a shower to make me feel better. It did...prob. b/c I just sat in the floor of that shower with hot water pooring on my while I cried. I cried for like 20 min strait or so. I feel better now that I have it all out...but it still feels crappy and It makes me want to go to school tomorrow and just not say a word to anybody...maybe wave but not say anything to anybody and see if they even notice I'm alive...ususally...idk y...but I feel like I'm not alive to anyone.That I'm just some person that casey knows and kerri is just friends with b/c she miss's david so much that no one else matters. I barely get to see christina and I figure I am over doing it b/c I'm crying right now...but still...oh well...feels like I have more to say but nothing I want to type. Later