oh hai
This post is a great post. If you are a woman or gay man, this entry will make you want to bone me. If critics read this entry, they wouldn't give it a positive review because they'd be blind; their eyes wouldn't be able to handle that much awesome coming at them at once. Angels sang when I began writing this entry, doves were released and somewhere, someplace, a crippled boy was able to walk. Every vegetable in every hospital bed in the world cracked a smile when this entry was written. Paris Hilton punched herself in the throat. Ok, so maybe not all of this stuff happened when this entry was written (Paris Hilton doesn't know how to make a fist), but the rest is true.
Isn't that more catchy then saying "this is boring my life is boring don't read this?" Why do people on livejournal and other blogging sites always insist on telling all of their readers that the blog they are about to read is going to be boring, and that said blog writer is boring, and that the readers will not enjoy what they are about to read? If people have been that blogger's friends for any significant amount of time, they probably already know to expect a let-down. If saying "this is not going to be too funny or interesting" is a disclaimer, that would imply that most other entries said person makes, are, in fact, interesting or funny. Usually that isn't the case. By and large, most people that write on livejournal are boring as hell and not as funny as they think they are. It bugs me that they give the disclaimers on certain entries because that disclaimer should just be the headline at the top of the page near the menu bar.
You know, the spot where people typically insert some stupid line that they think is deep or clever that defines what is in their journal? The same sort of line that people have next to their name on myspace. And I mean, these are some pretty extreme examples of bad, a lot of headlines are just fine, its the ones that mean absolutely nothing that get me uppity:
pretty Jessica "when the fog clears, I'll see your smiling face."
Mark [the betrayed] "a nickel for affection...is too much to ask..."
theres something about Jessi "we're halfway there, livin' on a prayer, take my hand we'll make it I swear."
strawberry "do rattlesnakes kiss carefully?"
Jenn [the Raptor] "Rage more."
Stephanie "Shine down, light it up, wash it over..."
See how perceptive you are; only two of those are actually fake, the other four are people I'm friends with on myspace. What I'm saying is: rather than that trite line at the top of a livejournal or next to a name on myspace, why not put "listen nothing I say or do that I feel like mentioning is ever interesting or funny so if you want to be interested or laugh this is not the place for you, I am so boring that the last dog I owned ate its own head when I was talking about myself." That way, instead of having one entry every two months or so that they have to prepare for with a caveat, they have their ever-present warning at the top of the page.
I want to be warned when I'm about to have my face rocked off by the intensity of an entry. I want the author to be so arrogant about his experiences that I'll read just to see if that arrogance is justified. There is no room for humility on livejournal, people. Humble people are no fun to read about, plus, this is the internet; you can lie to make yourself look better (and no one will ever find out!). Especially since the whole "this isn't too interesting, I'm not very funny" is followed by all kinds of moronic jokes and puns and argh argh! It's faux humility, and that is even more boring and obnoxious than real humility.
What is more interesting, reading about someone that describes every mundane everyday activity that he does, or reading about someone that approaches every situation with a ludicrous arrogance? I'd go with the latter. Two examples:
Example A - The Everyday entry:
hi guys, sry I haven't wrote in a while. Just letting you all know I'm not dead lol! Becuz I know how some of you guys think I may do something totally wacky like fake my own death via not writing in livejournal lol! Neways this isn't going to be very interesting because there is nothing new here today. omg I woke up today and I drank a HUGE cup of coffee, a friend of mine thinks it's so crazy that I like coffee! It's like I'm a grown up or something! I always tell her "no way girlie, I am not crazy becuz coffee is like my LIFE SAVER!" Haha ummmm unless u can't tell...I LOVE coffee! just to let u know in case you couldnt figure it out from the other like MILLION entries i make joking about it LOL! I drink like more coffee then I do water its like my lifeblood! COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE MMMM I LOVE COFFEE GONNA GO TO STARBUCKS LATER AND DRINK COFFEE IN STARBUCKS WHERE THEY MAKE COFFEE BECUZ I LUV IT SO MUCH! all my cool friends hang out at starbucks and we talk about liking coffee and poetry and fallout boy and linkin park. they all rock so hard becuz they don't keep the angst on the inside, they let it out. u probably dunt get it but u may one day.
today Chad (Caron's note: I just picked an arbitrary frat-like name) told me he didn't want to date me and it was totally our 2 1/2 month anniversary! I loved him and now I don't know if I can trust people nemore. I'll never find anyone else he was so special but he trampled my <3. id liek to thanks all my friends that told me to avoid him u all r totally rite lol. i desrve so much better and ill be strong through this!
i had a bowl of trix for breakfast but it got soggy too fast. I went to class and the teacher gave me a C- on my paper I wrote about pride and prejudice and ummmm all i have to say is that teacher hurt my pride with all her prejudice lol! all my friends thought it was SO FUNNY when I said that in class when I got my paper! ok gotta go watch sex in the city bye!
Example B - An Arrogant Entry
(See my entire above entry - Example A included)
I lost what point I was going for when I wrote Example A. In fact, I loaded this post up from a draft firefox saved a while ago. If you take anything from this entry it should be this: white people are not to be trusted.
Isn't that more catchy then saying "this is boring my life is boring don't read this?" Why do people on livejournal and other blogging sites always insist on telling all of their readers that the blog they are about to read is going to be boring, and that said blog writer is boring, and that the readers will not enjoy what they are about to read? If people have been that blogger's friends for any significant amount of time, they probably already know to expect a let-down. If saying "this is not going to be too funny or interesting" is a disclaimer, that would imply that most other entries said person makes, are, in fact, interesting or funny. Usually that isn't the case. By and large, most people that write on livejournal are boring as hell and not as funny as they think they are. It bugs me that they give the disclaimers on certain entries because that disclaimer should just be the headline at the top of the page near the menu bar.
You know, the spot where people typically insert some stupid line that they think is deep or clever that defines what is in their journal? The same sort of line that people have next to their name on myspace. And I mean, these are some pretty extreme examples of bad, a lot of headlines are just fine, its the ones that mean absolutely nothing that get me uppity:
pretty Jessica "when the fog clears, I'll see your smiling face."
Mark [the betrayed] "a nickel for affection...is too much to ask..."
theres something about Jessi "we're halfway there, livin' on a prayer, take my hand we'll make it I swear."
strawberry "do rattlesnakes kiss carefully?"
Jenn [the Raptor] "Rage more."
Stephanie "Shine down, light it up, wash it over..."
See how perceptive you are; only two of those are actually fake, the other four are people I'm friends with on myspace. What I'm saying is: rather than that trite line at the top of a livejournal or next to a name on myspace, why not put "listen nothing I say or do that I feel like mentioning is ever interesting or funny so if you want to be interested or laugh this is not the place for you, I am so boring that the last dog I owned ate its own head when I was talking about myself." That way, instead of having one entry every two months or so that they have to prepare for with a caveat, they have their ever-present warning at the top of the page.
I want to be warned when I'm about to have my face rocked off by the intensity of an entry. I want the author to be so arrogant about his experiences that I'll read just to see if that arrogance is justified. There is no room for humility on livejournal, people. Humble people are no fun to read about, plus, this is the internet; you can lie to make yourself look better (and no one will ever find out!). Especially since the whole "this isn't too interesting, I'm not very funny" is followed by all kinds of moronic jokes and puns and argh argh! It's faux humility, and that is even more boring and obnoxious than real humility.
What is more interesting, reading about someone that describes every mundane everyday activity that he does, or reading about someone that approaches every situation with a ludicrous arrogance? I'd go with the latter. Two examples:
Example A - The Everyday entry:
hi guys, sry I haven't wrote in a while. Just letting you all know I'm not dead lol! Becuz I know how some of you guys think I may do something totally wacky like fake my own death via not writing in livejournal lol! Neways this isn't going to be very interesting because there is nothing new here today. omg I woke up today and I drank a HUGE cup of coffee, a friend of mine thinks it's so crazy that I like coffee! It's like I'm a grown up or something! I always tell her "no way girlie, I am not crazy becuz coffee is like my LIFE SAVER!" Haha ummmm unless u can't tell...I LOVE coffee! just to let u know in case you couldnt figure it out from the other like MILLION entries i make joking about it LOL! I drink like more coffee then I do water its like my lifeblood! COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE MMMM I LOVE COFFEE GONNA GO TO STARBUCKS LATER AND DRINK COFFEE IN STARBUCKS WHERE THEY MAKE COFFEE BECUZ I LUV IT SO MUCH! all my cool friends hang out at starbucks and we talk about liking coffee and poetry and fallout boy and linkin park. they all rock so hard becuz they don't keep the angst on the inside, they let it out. u probably dunt get it but u may one day.
today Chad (Caron's note: I just picked an arbitrary frat-like name) told me he didn't want to date me and it was totally our 2 1/2 month anniversary! I loved him and now I don't know if I can trust people nemore. I'll never find anyone else he was so special but he trampled my <3. id liek to thanks all my friends that told me to avoid him u all r totally rite lol. i desrve so much better and ill be strong through this!
i had a bowl of trix for breakfast but it got soggy too fast. I went to class and the teacher gave me a C- on my paper I wrote about pride and prejudice and ummmm all i have to say is that teacher hurt my pride with all her prejudice lol! all my friends thought it was SO FUNNY when I said that in class when I got my paper! ok gotta go watch sex in the city bye!
Example B - An Arrogant Entry
(See my entire above entry - Example A included)
I lost what point I was going for when I wrote Example A. In fact, I loaded this post up from a draft firefox saved a while ago. If you take anything from this entry it should be this: white people are not to be trusted.