[The Freudian Slip]: Question and Answer Segment
Hello, in case you’re wondering what this whole Q&A is about, I basically received a lot of really insightful questions by jacksboner and replying to them all in a comment would be ridiculous due to word limits, so I’ve decided to post my answers as a separate segment piece. I figured that it might be helpful for other readers to see what others are thinking about the plot/side-chracters, seeing as I’ve answered some of these questions before.
The Freudian Slip Masterpost
Q#1.-“ Rian seems to really despise alcohol, and mostly the effects it gives to people, so why is he the tender at the party scene? And why would he let Alex, who throughout the whole story seems to have a relationship with alcohol stronger than a relationship with anybody else, work in a place that is bound to trigger his alcoholic needs? I get it that you might needed that certain characteristics to develop the story in the first place but it just seems like if Rian and Zack knew how much he needs the alcohol to function, then they wouldn’t let him work in a place like that.”
A: You’re right in saying that Rian is not a big fan of alcohol, though I wouldn’t say he abstains from it himself. Initially I chose him as the tender at 'The Party Scene' mostly because I felt like it suited his personality; charming, patient, and a general people person. These of course, are all qualities that are associated with the characterization I’ve written Rian as teenager, back when he was on the football team, and a well-known good boy in his neighbourhood. (see TFS 10.3)
He’s obviously jaded now, bitter and highly volatile, which would of course make him a horrible choice as a bouncer, as seen when he fights with a drunk Jack who is trying to leave TPS. The role of the disc jockey was pre-set for Alex, so that really doesn’t leave you many more options. There was the option of just not having him work at TPS, but yes, it’d make the plot more difficult to contrive.
But I have to say, it’s a little bit of me being a sadist writer. It’s poetic justice, having someone who hates the effects of alcohol have to serve it every night. It’s almost a form of self-inflicted pain, because he does he feel guilty when he gives Jack drinks knowing he’s under-aged. This form of guilt is his way of not having to think of his main source of guilt, which was the fight he had with Alex and Zack, where he ending up hurting some of the dearest people in his life.
As for why they let Alex drink at the club, it’s a method of control. If they provide him with an environment he is familiar with, because clubs are a lot like concerts with the music, lights and dancing crowd, he’s bound to stay there. At TPS Rian is able to monitor what Alex drinks, and Zack makes sure he doesn’t drive home drunk. They can’t physically stop him from drinking because Alex is an adult after all, but they are at least aware of what he gets himself into.
Q#2.-“Sam and Alex, as close as they have been written still don’t fit the characteristics of a couple, he had a girlfriend who broke up with him and so he gave Alex the promise ring instead, then at paragraph 32 in the flashbacks, Sam says ‘You make me happy’ which does sounds like their relationship is far more than just good buds, so I really want to know more about the relationship they had. Specially the whole ‘Xander. Because if I don’t recall badly, other crew members called him ‘Xander at the party he went with Jack.”
A: Sam and Alex are indeed too close to be just friends. They’ve known each other since they were kids, and are obviously very comfortable in their relationship. As the flash backs continues you’ll learn more about the physicality of their relationship, but I’ve already foreboded to what happens in TFS 11.4 when I first revealed Sam’s identity.
Rian says: “Alex has always been too close to certain friends...you know that.” This line is also repeated later again when Jack spots the picture of the four of them.
The following:
“The ingrained trust that years of childhood trials develop is not hard to come by. But it is hellish to maintain when the mind is over rot with urges and fantasies. Abandonment and betrayal can occur in a matter of days as new kinds of relationships form. No, it is not always jealously that takes over, but is hard to come to terms the fact the one person who has always been one’s central source of entertainment, comfort and confidence suddenly finds someone else to spend their every waking second of free time in another’s presence or thinking of that other. In truth, you’re my best friend, you should be happy for me, is a rather stupid thing to say when someone’s whole world is snatched up by another. How does one recognize one’s best friend when they are a smattering mess of stilted compliments around the other or long-winded playback of insignificant details of the other? It is hard to accept at time when one is so needy for attention, searching for explanations and reassurances.”
--explains how close friendships can be construed once the friends hit puberty. They may not be lusting for one another, but it’s still hard to accept the fact a best friend is eventually replaced by a significant other. It’s a blow to everyone’s ego at time in your life when you need all the love and support you can get.
The following paragraph:
“So sometimes, friends avoid being insecure. They avoid the fear of rejection, the need to look better or seem greater than they really are. They do not spread gossip; pass little love notes in class, or send coy instant messages filled with suggestive smiley faces. They do not go off looking for their other at school-sanctioned social events or all-ages clubs. They merely turn to their best friend and ask them to keep yet another of their secrets. They begin to sit closer than necessary. They find themselves needing to whisper senseless things in each other’s ears, brushing imaginary lint of their shoulders, and clutching hands in a weak attempt to pull them away from others. Sometimes they even start ‘sleeping’ at sleepovers. It is not supposed to mean anything. It just provides mutual satisfaction. Or say they say.”
--explains how sometimes people start looking for that love and support in the wrong places. When Freud talks about a child’s development he says that the first people we learn to love is our parents, and that the first woman a man falls in love with is his mother until he learns that that love must be platonic. If the man doesn’t develop normally, he develops the infamous Oedipus complex. (That’s why breastfeeding tends to be something socially looked down upon, because it can be something rather erotic in a perverted sense.)
So here, we have an example of how the man has moved on from loving his mother, to loving his best friend. It’s a misplaced sort of love, but real nonetheless.
Lastly:
“Alright, so sometimes people get too attached. One does not have to be female, or sensitive to become attune to a routine, it is human nature to become adaptive and accustomed. Face it; it is hard not to appreciate someone who makes one happy after all. A best friend is already attributed to so many positive feelings; it is hard to let that go once that awkward stage is over. They become another one of one’s go-to objects, the threadbare velour blanket, the battered stuffed teddy bear, and the best friend who shoved their hand down one’s pants to compensate for a failed mathematics test. Yet Darwin warned that only the fittest survive, those who continue to adapt even when the environment is not in their favour. So eventually one has to grow up, let go, and move on. Very rarely does a high school sweetheart relationship result in everlasting peace and joy. If so, there is still the niggling feeling to consider, at the back of one’s mind. The tiny little what-if that will occasionally ask if there is someone hotter, smarter, funnier, more lovable out there. One needs to know. One has to explore every single option between settling down and bonding to ‘the one.’ Thus the true experimentation does not end at penetration, but rather begins the moment one cleans off the dried cum.”
This warns us about consequences of this misplaced love. As a functioning and successful person you need to learn to adapt to changes in your life. You learn that you can’t depend on your best friend for every little thing and you move on. If only one party of the friendship realizes this, the friendship is ruined.
As for the pet name ‘Xander, it’s not used until TFS 7.4 in the following conversation:
“‘Xander, it’s not even eleven yet,” Dawson sighs. He glances up the empty platform where the disc jockey should be standing and back at his friend. Alex used to have milk moustaches, and now it is liquor that coats his upper lip.
Gaskarth’s nose scrunches up with distaste at the childhood nickname. There is only one person who is allowed to call the disc jockey by that name, and they have not talked to Alex in over a year.””
So we know that it’s a name that was given to Alex by a particular person, and he generally doesn’t let anyone else call him that. The only others who occasionally get away with it are Rian and Zack. Alex only allows that because Rian and Zack are the only two people really left in his life. When Alex tells the blonde doctor not to call him ‘Xander you can tell he was thinking back to his flashback, and that the familiar blondness of the doctor’s hair is messing with his already concussed head.
*As for why I didn’t go with the fan-fic canon nickname of ‘Lex, I frankly didn’t want to. It’s ridiculously overused to the point that you as a reader associate it with Jalex, and it’s not meant to be a Jalex thing, it’s a Sam/Alex thing. The term was only ever used once by Rian in TFS 5.2 when he tells Alex to ‘shut up’ and thus it’s more him grunting out his words that any form of endearment.
Q#3.-“Again about Sam. I tried to find the chapter but I’m too tired to re-read everything, but it’s something along the lines of Rian saying ‘we know they’re never coming back’ or something like that, which leads me to thinking that there’s more than one person, this person being Sam, that left, and did so in a really permanent solution, which makes me believe that he and the other person/s that left died, which would explain why is Alex so tormented about this and why he has developed G.A.D (because as far as I go, one is not born with it, one develops it after experiencing a dramatic and anormal situation). Also, I think, but am not sure, that Alex slept with Sam’s girlfriend at the time, but what I don’t understand is why he says ‘I did it for all of you’ and another confusing thing is the timeline of the flashbacks, especially since Sam gives Alex the promise ring after (in the line of the story, not real time) he’s been caught with -if my assumptions are true-, Sam’s girlfriend, so I’m really confused about that.”
A: God bless whoever made the search option on computers; you’re referring to the first scene of TFS 8.3 when Alex is acting strangely because he is recovering from a violent anxiety attack from the other day. He offers to help clean up at TPS, and when Rian and Zack bring up party plans for Halloween, he refuses to dress up in costume. They begin and to argue:
““Whatever,” Alex mutters, not really wanting to repeat this argument again. He tosses the broom he was holding onto the floor, disrupting the pile of dirt he previously made. “I need a drink.”
“Of course you do,” the tender spits as his friend walks away.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” sighs the bouncer once Alex has hopped over the bar counter.
The tender huffs, “Doesn’t matter, our Alex is as good as gone.”
“You know that’s not true. He was almost normal again, least for a few hours.”
Rian just shrugs, picking up the abandoned broom. “There’s only one person who can bring the real Alex back. And we both know they’re never coming back.””
I’m afraid you’re wrong in assuming there is a second stressor to Alex’s anxiety. The ‘they’ Rian is talking about is in fact Sam. The pronoun ‘they’ of course is used in the singular when you don’t know someone’s gender. At this point of the story I refused to acknowledge Sam’s gender because Alex’s own sexuality is an on-going question in the story. He only messes around with girls, but then decides to date Jack, a male. There are times where he teases Rian about his sexuality, and the most telling of this is during the first time we meet Alex in TFS, and he insinuates that Rian is jealous of him and Jack:
““Alex, you know I’m not gay.” grunts Rian, feeling obligated to clear any misconceptions for Jack and himself.
“That’s never stopped me before,” his friend retorts and he stares in Rian’s general direction but he is looking behind him. He stares at the shelves loaded with alcohol and even further back, to those drunken nights in a different town when they had names that mattered.”
As for the declaration that Sam is never coming back, it wasn’t meant to sound as morbid as it did! Haha. You’re probably the third or fourth person to guess that the mysterious person of Alex’s past died, but that’s not the case. Sam isn’t coming back because he doesn’t want to and probably never will.
While you’re right to say people aren’t born with GAD, they are genetically inclined to develop GAD. The biological logistics of it is genetic, so chances are if someone has an anxiety disorder, they have a family history of mental disorders. GAD isn’t caused by one particular traumatic event, so much as by a generally stressful environment, such as having a shitty job or living in poor housing conditions. PSTD, post-traumatic stress disorder, would fall more into the former category. Both are types of anxiety disorders, which is why their symptoms may over-lap at times, but the main difference is that everyday things stress Alex out -- such as when Jack comments on Alex’s lack of a Christmas tree which causes him to go buy one later-- regardless of whether it reminds him of traumatic past or not.
As for the flashbacks, I’m sorry. They are a bit confusing since they’re not all in chronological order. The first flashback of Sam not being on stage with the band is the aftermath of the ‘bad thing Alex did.’ The second flashback where Zack and Sam find Alex in his tour bus bunk with some girl is technically the ‘bad thing’ but you aren’t meant to understand just exactly why it was so bad at that point. ( TFS 12.1) Everything relayed after that is in chronological order, the re-telling of their life while on tour. Eventually the flashbacks will come full circle, and you’ll see why that event was so important that it was only invoked when Alex was talking to Flyzik, who represents authority and general goodness in Alex’s life.
In regards to Alex sleeping with Sam’s ex-girlfriend, I’m afraid I’m going to have to shoot that theory down. It’s mentioned in TFS 13.1 that the ex is seen with a boy from their old math class who is now a roofer, and that the whole reason she left Sam was because she didn’t like the fact he traveled with the band. So it would be highly unlikely that she would go for another musician. ( TFS 12.2) It’s also mentioned that she never really liked Alex’s friends, and Alex seems to hate her guts for what she’s done. If she had a proper role in this story, she would have been given a name, but since she’s always referred to as ‘her’ it’s safe to say she’s not all that important. In fact, whoever Alex slept with is not important at all, and I’d like to think he doesn’t even know said girl’s name. It’s not who he did it with; it’s that fact he had sex with her.
Because I can’t give away all of my secrets, I won’t tell you what the line ‘“I did it for you, for all of us” ( TFS 12.1) means yet. But it is very important, because it how Alex justified his actions. He similarly now justifies his GAD with the mantra of ‘I deserve this.’
Q#4.-“When Zack says ‘you never really forgave him, did you?’ ‘You thought you were even because he hurt you and then you hurt him back’ brings me to the flashbacks again, sure, after Sam left the band broke and that must’ve hurt Rian a lot, which is understandable until the point where it almost looks like Alex did something else to him, I know, I might be reading way too much into it, and maybe the curtains are just fucking blue, but that’s the way I work. I want to know why is Rian the one that feels the most betrayed out of him and Zack, and I want to know more about Zack’s and Rian’s relationship.”
A: Ah, ah, ah, the curtains are not just blue in this case. Rian was personally hurt by what Alex did. It’s not for the same reason that caused Sam to quit the band, but it still had a more of an impact on Rian than it did on Zack, primarily because Zack saw it all coming.
I’ll admit it’s quite subtle, but the lines:
“Merrick walked up to his bunk. Gaskarth could see the outline of his friend’s back then small frame in the low-lighting; he could see how the bassist hesitated. “Maybe you should just leave him alone Sammy.””
--hints that Zack knew something bad would happen when they pulled back the curtains. He knew Alex was in his bunk, and he knew he wasn’t alone. Recall that he is characterized as the following:
“Now Merrick has always been an interesting addition to the Three Musketeers. Zack was the smallest, shyest, and yet the easiest to be around. He is soothing, in the simplest of means. He is indifferent to almost everything, in the sense he does not care where one is from, how one looks, what one wears, only what one does or does not do. He merely accepts what was thrown at him with little complaint. He listens to one’s stories, an omnipresent shoulder to cry on. He is the hand one holds, the arms that have one’s back. He is a never-ending support system of “I understand” and “Don’t worry.” Yet if one digs deeper, and one should always dig deeper, it is after all, the quiet ones one should look out for, Zack is two parts sugar and three parts spice. He is there for the victim, but keeps in mind that every story, like a coin, has two sides. His silence, constant surveillance and love of photography make him cunning, manipulative, and ultimately powerful.
Coming from a Catholic high school that rivalled Alex and Rian’s public one, not much could be gleamed on Zack’s school life other that it was infused with a relentless tirade of morality. He seemed to float under the radar. He was not on the honour roll or on a sport’s team. He did not get bad grades, did not get detention, or anything else outstanding. He had an intimate circle of friends that were rumoured to deal with unwanted nuisances for money in very underground sort of way. It was not exactly a gang, but had it been, Merrick certainly would have been their leader. It does not take much from Zack, a single nudge, a knowing wink, and one feels the need to comply. There is no way to harbour ill will against him; one merely serves to please Merrick. He has a thin-lipped smile and a nimble gait. He has quick reflexes and an even quicker tongue. He could have been a boxer if he wanted to, his current build providing the proper weight. But Zack’s intimidation works much more silently. It was Zack after all, who first gleamed on Alex’s little secret.”” ( TFS 10.3)
Thus, it’s been mentioned that Zack is very perceptive. He isn’t judgemental, and will never outright tell someone what they are doing is wrong, but he tries to guide people. He sees always sees the good in people, and that’s why he was Superman for Halloween. It’s his ability to forgive that saved both Rian and Alex, and yet because they know they didn’t deserve said forgiveness, they are both haunted by it.
Let’s also not forget that Rian was the one who gave up the most by joining the band. He was expecting to go to college, and people used to say Alex was a bad influence on him ( TFS 10.3). Rian trusted Alex with his entire future, and despite his unfailing faith in his best friend, Alex let him down. That hurts and Rian took out that hurt on Alex, and Zack for not telling beforehand, by beating the shit out of them, which has resulted in the fake apologies, mistrust and guilt.
As for Rian and Zack’s relationship, it’s purposefully left ambiguous at this point. There are subtle nuances that do hint at something more, but if only if the reader chooses to interpret them as so. I plan to develop it more before the end of TFS, but the scene in TFS 10.2 when Zack gives Rian a massage is probably the most telling. The attention paid in the skin-on-skin contact can be seen as rather sensual, especially at the end when:
“The simple gesture causes a ridiculous amount of relief to course of Rian’s body, so much so that he quakes for a moment before completely going limp.”
This tightening of the body followed by complete limpness can be allusion to the release of an orgasm if you chose to read it as such. The subsequent cuddling in the blankets is reminiscent of pillow talk and the hint of Rian needing a shower is easily associated with the idea that he is either hard, or sticky with ejaculation. The way his cheeks redden when Zack tells him he loves him is a rather overt, if not completely cheesy sign of both embarrassment and satisfaction.
--Or it was just massage that felt really good.
Your choice, but as the Gaskarths come to stay over at Rian and Zack’s, we’ll learn more about their rather domestic lifestyle.
Q#5.-“Alex’s parents and why did Rian offered for his parents to sleep in his home. Alex’s relationship with his parents is really distant if not unexistent, and Zack and Rian know this, so why would Rian offer such a thing? I’m guessing it’s because he feels yet again betrayed by Alex and he hates how no matter what Alex does he can’t help but still care about him he wants to have a revenge that at least won’t be physical because he’s already injured. Again, I might be reading way too much into it, but yeah.”
A: Why would Rian offer such as thing? Because Rian is a good sweet boy, haha. Or rather, he was, as I said earlier, he was originally the good little neighbour boy, so the Gaskarths know him personally, seeing as he calls Mr. Gaskarth by his first name. But beyond niceties, you’re right. Rian does ultimately care for Alex and honestly didn’t want him anymore worked up than he was.
It’s strange, because Rian is very similar to Mr. Gaskarth in their line of thinking, and the way they express their panic over Alex by getting angry at him.(You could even say that’s why Alex chose him as a friend, because Rian reminds him of his father, another sort of twisted Oedipal complex if you will.) Yet Rian is still protective of Alex and thinks that while he can yell at Alex all he wants, no one else is actually allowed to hurt Alex. It’s not really revenge, but selfishness. Fortunately, the last fight with Zack has really opened Rian’s eyes, and we’ll start to see some really positive progression for Rian’s character.
EDIT:
Q.#6: "About the guy at the coffee shop, hmm…another confusing thing, since he seems to like Jack when he says something like 'it took a lot of time to move on from the 'hello how do you do's' but at the same time, i feel like he also likes alex, or maybe he just mixed his coffee because he was jealous? or he wants a threesome XDD"
In regards to Eric, he’s a tricky one! From the very moment you meet Eric, he not only favours but shows this possessiveness towards Jack. When Jack and Mina first visit the coffee shop in TFS 7.4, they note that the shop has already closed, but that Eric is willing to serve them because Jack is their ‘number one customer.’ Also when Eric brings back their order, Eric leans his hip against the back of Jack, which is not what you would consider polite if you merely had a waiter-customer relationship.
Later in TFS 11.2, as you said, Eric becomes much more obvious in what is clearly jealously. His tone when Alex is around is described as ‘brittle as a scone,’ which basically means it’s very harsh and dry. He purposefully makes Alex’s order of a black coffee far too bitter in comparison with Jack’s. He’s basically doing everything he can to make Alex’s customer experiences unpleasant, but Alex continues to come regardless. Eric also stops drawing smiley faces on the lid of Jack’s coffee, which is a common way for a barista to let the customer know they find them attractive/pleasant. Thus we know that Eric is unhappy with Jack.
It isn’t until TFS 12.3 that I really expand on Eric’s character traits because it wasn’t until after Jack had gone off on holiday that Eric plays out his role. If you’ll recall the definition given at the beginning of that chapter on character foils:
“Foil: In literature, a foil is a character that contrasts with another character, usually the protagonist, in order to emphasize certain qualities. The foil does this either by being the complete opposite of the protagonist, or being very similar and having one key difference. These qualities can also be represented by the characters’ physical attributes. Foils often take on the role of antagonists or sidekicks.”
It becomes obvious that Eric is Jack’s foil. They are eerily similar to one another; both have dark hair, go the same university, live on the same street, study similar programs, and are overtly curious about the people around them. For example:
“The brunet does not respond at the malicious tone at first. He merely watches the customer, his eyes a dark hazel that border on the probing brown of Barakat’s irises in their concentration. He assesses the disc jockey much like Jack does, but he lacks the clinical detachment of the psychoanalyst. He is definitely more unrestrained than Jack, what with the way he once again leans over the table, his hands clasped in front of him.”
As a foil, Eric’s literary purpose is to highlight Jack’s character. Both we as readers, and Alex himself, come to appreciate Jack’s subtlety when faced with Eric’s in-your-face attitude when it comes to social observation. He isn’t embarrassed to admit he watches his customers and he doesn’t shy away from asking Alex personal questions.
Eric may be a bit brash or pushy, but he’s also very helpful. He provides us with special insider information about Jack, --how he has never really brought anyone into the coffee shop-- which lets Alex and us know that Jack really likes Alex even if he has yet to admit it.
In the end, it’s true he wants Jack’s attention. Eric admires Jack, mostly because they have so many similarities and because Jack is full of never-ending surprises. A lot of people find mysterious people attractive and Jack gives you just enough so that you’re left wanting more. It’s also true at first Eric didn’t like Alex, but he comes to an understanding:
“Gaskarth is not just devastatingly attractive; he is devastating in his own right. The disc jockey is snappy and cocky but unknowingly flashes a soft underbelly that draws in the perceptive onlooker. Any aggression and pomp he flaunts is really just a cover for what are clearly deep-rooted insecurities. The purple haired man is basically harmless to everyone except himself. There is something about Alex Gaskarth that brings out the sociologist out of Eric Accorsi. But the coffee shop waiter has enough sense not to meddle. Accorsi knows one cannot toy and poke at people like rats in a lab experiment.”
As he talks with Alex, he is able to take note of the signs of distress that were also clear to Jack. As a sociologist, Eric understands that Alex is making appearances for society and that he is truly internally distressed. The main difference is that Eric has enough sense not to meddle with Alex. He’s straight-up from the start, and would never try to manipulate Alex the way Jack manipulates everybody around him.
--Is this social manipulation a bad thing?
Maybe.
But having written from a biased- third person POV for so much of this story, a lot of readers forget that what Jack is doing isn’t normal. Normal psych students don’t experiment outside of the classroom. So Eric presents us with a second option, a sort of what-if-Alex-hadn’t-met-Jack that makes us wonder if this whole thing will work out. And yet Eric’s appearance only makes Alex miss Jack even more. Alex goes home feeling terrible and ends up drinking himself dumb. So while presenting Alex with an alternative, Eric also solidifies Alex’s decision to let Jack into his life.
As for the possibility of a threesome, that would be incredibly hot, but highly unlikely seeing how possessive both guys are over Jack, haha.
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A/N: And so that concludes our Q&A! I hope that answered all your questions, if anyone has anything to add or comment on, feel free to do so. (There are multiple ways to interpret any story, so if you don’t necessarily agree with everything, that’s cool too.) Answering questions like these really help me figure out what I need to work on as a writer, so this was really mutually beneficial.