(no subject)
Since I didn't update in like the past 3 days... I'll tell all about my weekend... Even though most of you don't care.
Friday - After school Amanda and I went back to Kayla's. We were suppose to sleep over but then her mom changed her mind. Later Austin came over and then we went downtown to eat Indian food. It was yummy. Then we went to the community center. It was a lot of fun. A lot of people got emo at some points but worked it through. That night I went home... All in my lonesome. I stayed up until 3:30 AM just thinking. At one point I decided that I need to redecorate my wall. So I took down a few things and put a lot up. It looks better. I decided that I was going to print out a bunch of lines from songs and put them on my wall. It sounds cool to me. Right before I fell alseep, I got really emo and wrote this thing about.... It should be obvious what its about. I'll post it in a cut at the end.
Saturday - Slept until 12. That was good. I needed that. When I woke up my brother was nowhere to be found. So my dad and I went crazy looking for him. It turns out that he went to have lunch with the family that I babysit for. But he didn't leave a note or call my dad to tell him that he was going. He thought that I wasn't home... That I went to Kayla's. He just didn't bother to open my door. I sat home all day doing nothing. That was boring. Then I wanted to go to the mall with Amanda, Brain, Sean, and Laura but my dad didn't want to drive me because we wasn't feeling well. So instead, Kayla's mom picked me up and we went to the movies with Sarah. We saw 'Meet the Fockers'.... It was really good. I liked it. Got home around 10:30-11:00. Went online and talked to people. Thats when Amanda started acting a little weird. She started to get emo about Brian when she has no reason to because there is nothing bad going on between them. I love her to death but she is really acting strange. Went to sleep around 1AM.
Today - Woke up around 8. I had to go to work. That was really boring. But nothing new there. Came home went online... Did the usually... Which is basically nothing. Hmm. Bored now... Watching 'Sex in the City'. Lol. I love this show.
Tomorrow is school. I really don't want to go....
I know you people don't want to "hear" this but it hurts me walking down the hall knowing that I had something that people would dream about having....And it all just slipped away. I don't know. I miss it. I miss him. I don't know why I was stupid enough to fall for all of that. I mean yeah, I wanted something like that. Because it seemed like a perfect thing. But now that I look back on it... I feel like everything was a lie. I don't want to think that but it feels like it. Whatever. I'm done complaining to you people
<3*
You told the same lies 100 times. But to me you meant it more everytime it was said. With every lie I grew more attatched to you. I would have never thought that some one would be cold hearted enough to do something like that.Now that I think about it, I was right. You never really loved me. To you I was a girl who liked you that was willing to hook up with you. I was used. Used to the point that I was to blind to actually see what was going on. I was so wrapped in you lies that everything around me started to die. My soul faded away with your lies. To a place where everything you said became true. A place in the back of my head that controlled the way I saw you. The only thing I ever wanted was for you to love me the way I loved you. I look at you now and the only thing I can hear is you telling your biggest lie:"I love you. We will be together forever, its destiny."But let me tell you that fate took a wrong turn and lost everything we had together.<3*