Interesting time at the lake
So the last couple weekends, I've gone to see my family at the lake. The last weekend I went, my "roommate" who recently moved out drove up to stay the night.. we had a girls night. Got a few drinks, some tequila, a deck of cards and said " lets have fun". Oh we did!!! after drinking nearly the whole bottle of tequila and most of the smirnoff.. my texting a certain someone got alittle out of control. Needless to say.. the things we both said to each other were horrid and out of line. I told A that if C EVER talked to me the way SS talked to her, I wouldn't deal with and say "peace"... I understand to an extent why she still talks to him. Horrble I KNOW!! but the one thing he did say was "I like you" which has taken me 3 nights to get out of him again. I kept his most hurtfull text messages..and reading them makes me feel like a worthless person. I did get out of control with him, I did act crazy and I dont know why. I dont truely love him. We could never be together. But when I saw his car today.. i got a "ping" in my chest.. and it hurts. I know the right thing to do is to leave him alone and forget about him. I just wish I had the strength to be a "hardass".. he claims I act like one.. but deep down i cant be.
I just need the strength from something or someone to get me over this. I want to be done with him.. its been two long years.. and i've only learned how much I dont like myself, and how much he never did love me.
I just need the strength from something or someone to get me over this. I want to be done with him.. its been two long years.. and i've only learned how much I dont like myself, and how much he never did love me.