So this morning I got myself a totally epic shiner.
With makeup.
I told people, alternately, that I:
-Got in a bar fight
(and I took down six huge biker dudes with my super awesome kung-fu mind powers)
-Fought a bear
-Was in Ladies' Fight Club
-Got kicked in the face by a struggling twelve-year-old who I was attempting to stuff into my trunk
-Found a bunch of makeup in bruise colors in a drawer in the bathroom and then accidentally punched myself in the face.
One guy actually believed that I got into a bar fight. He gave me a high-five.
AWESOME DAY.
Unrelated: I am naming my guitar Hermia, for though she be but little, she is fierce.