..., redux
I think, someday, maybe not today but someday, far in the future when the radioactive alien deathmonkeys have conquered the earth, I should get up in front of God, the U.N., and everybody, and apologize to the entire universe for ever, ever, ever being such a moronic cunt as to take any aspect of fandom even remotely seriously.
Because, you know, South Park slash is one thing, but attempting to take it seriously as a venue for your righteous outrage at fangirl stupidity is a whole other can of stupid.
Someone take me away from the fandom-related communities while there's still hope.
Also, Ack's Annoying Fandom Fallacy of the Week: Look, if you wanted to improve your writing and take yourself seriously, first off, you shouldn't be doing it in fandom*, and if you do choose to attempt to use fandom to better yourself, you would be a lowest-common denominator comment-grubbing whore, like all those fangirls who write the stuff you deride as too "plebey" but get seven jillion hits and reviews. Why? Because learning to relentlessly market your stuff, to whore, to figure out what the market likes and write to it, regardless of what your writerly ego thinks is "good", is how you learn how to get stuff published - or, more importantly, write stuff that will sell, and thus be publishable. To stalk fangirl opinion and taste like your rightful prey, to become an expert at hunting it down, nailing it, pandering to it, and making it your bitch, so that the reviews pour in like the goddamn Missippi river when it's flooded -- that is what will turn you into a publishable author, if you aren't already, not the carefully composed, thoughtful "LoCs" of your writerly peers. And hey, if you happen to hit on the plebey fangirl-pleasin' "formula" by natural kinship with the popular mindset, all the better, because then you don't have to worry about it so much and can devote your time to all the pretty writerly language tricks that you probably don't need anyway because you have a goddamn market. There is a reason why Cassie Claire has a book contract and (as far as I can tell) the overwhelming, vast of the snobby "I'm a WRITER, why don't these people take their fanfic SERIOUSLY!!!" types don't. It's not because she's a great writer (not that I think she's bad, by any means), because great writing doesn't really sell books - and getting thousands of unreciprocated comments is basically the fandom equivalent of selling books. It's because (and this is just my opinion and I'm sure a fangirl of hers will come and bite me now, or maybe she will, in which case yay biting!) she has a natural instinct for the kind of stories people want to hear, as opposed to the sorts of people who sit around trying to figure out ways to tell the stories people don't want to hear more elegantly, in the hopes of perhaps changing people's minds**.
... I'm only writing this because I'm waiting for stuff to finish checking out of CVS. Really.
* As opposed to not being in fandom. I mean, if you want to take your writing seriously (and by seriously, I mean professionally/publishably) and also want to be in fandom because fandom is fun, that's cool. They aren't exclusionary, but doing fandom because it's going to help you get published is kind of like doing weight-lifting to make yourself a better gymnast.
** Which doesn't work too well, except as a flavor-of-the-month thing. SEE: Shania Twain. She got more pop-ish, pop didn't really get more country. Same for most of the "crossover" "hip-hop" arists.
[ETA: Unless you are Gabriel Garcia Marquez, short stories do not sell. And I do not mean this in the way that I say I am the GGM of HP fandom, because I know that I will probably never sell a short story; no, I mean this in the way that traditionally, short story anthologies do not sell for shit, and that if you do not write novels, you really don't have a prayer of ever supporting yourself as a writer of fiction. In fact, even if you do write novels (and publish them) you won't necessarily make enough money to support yourself, but at least you'll have a shot. In conclusion, your mother.]
Because, you know, South Park slash is one thing, but attempting to take it seriously as a venue for your righteous outrage at fangirl stupidity is a whole other can of stupid.
Someone take me away from the fandom-related communities while there's still hope.
Also, Ack's Annoying Fandom Fallacy of the Week: Look, if you wanted to improve your writing and take yourself seriously, first off, you shouldn't be doing it in fandom*, and if you do choose to attempt to use fandom to better yourself, you would be a lowest-common denominator comment-grubbing whore, like all those fangirls who write the stuff you deride as too "plebey" but get seven jillion hits and reviews. Why? Because learning to relentlessly market your stuff, to whore, to figure out what the market likes and write to it, regardless of what your writerly ego thinks is "good", is how you learn how to get stuff published - or, more importantly, write stuff that will sell, and thus be publishable. To stalk fangirl opinion and taste like your rightful prey, to become an expert at hunting it down, nailing it, pandering to it, and making it your bitch, so that the reviews pour in like the goddamn Missippi river when it's flooded -- that is what will turn you into a publishable author, if you aren't already, not the carefully composed, thoughtful "LoCs" of your writerly peers. And hey, if you happen to hit on the plebey fangirl-pleasin' "formula" by natural kinship with the popular mindset, all the better, because then you don't have to worry about it so much and can devote your time to all the pretty writerly language tricks that you probably don't need anyway because you have a goddamn market. There is a reason why Cassie Claire has a book contract and (as far as I can tell) the overwhelming, vast of the snobby "I'm a WRITER, why don't these people take their fanfic SERIOUSLY!!!" types don't. It's not because she's a great writer (not that I think she's bad, by any means), because great writing doesn't really sell books - and getting thousands of unreciprocated comments is basically the fandom equivalent of selling books. It's because (and this is just my opinion and I'm sure a fangirl of hers will come and bite me now, or maybe she will, in which case yay biting!) she has a natural instinct for the kind of stories people want to hear, as opposed to the sorts of people who sit around trying to figure out ways to tell the stories people don't want to hear more elegantly, in the hopes of perhaps changing people's minds**.
... I'm only writing this because I'm waiting for stuff to finish checking out of CVS. Really.
* As opposed to not being in fandom. I mean, if you want to take your writing seriously (and by seriously, I mean professionally/publishably) and also want to be in fandom because fandom is fun, that's cool. They aren't exclusionary, but doing fandom because it's going to help you get published is kind of like doing weight-lifting to make yourself a better gymnast.
** Which doesn't work too well, except as a flavor-of-the-month thing. SEE: Shania Twain. She got more pop-ish, pop didn't really get more country. Same for most of the "crossover" "hip-hop" arists.
[ETA: Unless you are Gabriel Garcia Marquez, short stories do not sell. And I do not mean this in the way that I say I am the GGM of HP fandom, because I know that I will probably never sell a short story; no, I mean this in the way that traditionally, short story anthologies do not sell for shit, and that if you do not write novels, you really don't have a prayer of ever supporting yourself as a writer of fiction. In fact, even if you do write novels (and publish them) you won't necessarily make enough money to support yourself, but at least you'll have a shot. In conclusion, your mother.]