so...
I was interrupted from my studies by checking on my little sister's journal... you know, expecting to find some typical HS drama, but confidently thinking that she and I are good friends and I would be aware of most of the issues going on.
Yeah, apparently not.
I'm crying right now because I feel like I lost her, and that's not fair. I wanted us to be friends so bad... when I was her age, I wanted nothing more than someone older to talk to about my stupid drama. She HAS someone, and I'm more than willing to listen... and the fact that she shuts me out so much makes me feel like an inadequate big sister.
What more could I have done? I tell my sister EVERYTHING that bothers me, unless it's something I don't think she's old enough to hear about/deal with. And I foolishly assumed the same of her, yet apparently all I'm good enough for is to be LIED to. I specifically asked her several times over the past few days if everything's going okay, how things were at school, with her friends, etc. And across the line, I got "FINE!" Why does she feel like I'm her mother and she needs to lie to me just to appease me? I don't ask just for politeness' sake... I ask because I care, I ask like I would with any of my friends. What kind of a friend lies like that? How am I not good enough?
I can't stop crying, and it's 1:15 and I have a final in 9 hours. I need to study but I can't focus because I'm so hurt and so scared for her.
As if it's not bad enough that nobody takes me seriously enough to get to know me, my own little sister doesn't give a shit about me or value my advice.
GREAT! THANK YOU, EVERYBODY!
Yeah, apparently not.
I'm crying right now because I feel like I lost her, and that's not fair. I wanted us to be friends so bad... when I was her age, I wanted nothing more than someone older to talk to about my stupid drama. She HAS someone, and I'm more than willing to listen... and the fact that she shuts me out so much makes me feel like an inadequate big sister.
What more could I have done? I tell my sister EVERYTHING that bothers me, unless it's something I don't think she's old enough to hear about/deal with. And I foolishly assumed the same of her, yet apparently all I'm good enough for is to be LIED to. I specifically asked her several times over the past few days if everything's going okay, how things were at school, with her friends, etc. And across the line, I got "FINE!" Why does she feel like I'm her mother and she needs to lie to me just to appease me? I don't ask just for politeness' sake... I ask because I care, I ask like I would with any of my friends. What kind of a friend lies like that? How am I not good enough?
I can't stop crying, and it's 1:15 and I have a final in 9 hours. I need to study but I can't focus because I'm so hurt and so scared for her.
As if it's not bad enough that nobody takes me seriously enough to get to know me, my own little sister doesn't give a shit about me or value my advice.
GREAT! THANK YOU, EVERYBODY!