(no subject)
A habit I tend to have is pushing a boyfriend away from me. And I felt myself trying to do so on Monday. Usually I don't notice I'm doing it but luckily I caught it right away. So I had a talk with JY about it last night. It still amazes me how I'm so open and honest with him about everything.
He asked me why does it happen. I tell him I don't know. And he said there must be a reason behind it. I eventually tell him it happens whenever I have doubts. Right away he knew what I was getting at...and told me that if he didn't want to hang out then he would say no. He wants to hang out because he wants to see me, not just because I want to.
It's very different with him. I feel like I can speak my mind without worrying that it might be wrong or I shouldn't be saying it. I have this big strong sense that no matter what I say, he won't take it as though I'm attacking him or anything.
The way he makes me feel is very different from what I've felt from my ex-boyfriends. It's a very warm feeling...kind of makes me feel like I finally belong... I've always had this feeling that something is going to happen and all I need to do was wait...and now I don't feel like I'm waiting anymore. I feel like I've finally found the "home" feeling I've been searching for. I really don't know how else I can describe it but it just feels right.
He asked me why does it happen. I tell him I don't know. And he said there must be a reason behind it. I eventually tell him it happens whenever I have doubts. Right away he knew what I was getting at...and told me that if he didn't want to hang out then he would say no. He wants to hang out because he wants to see me, not just because I want to.
It's very different with him. I feel like I can speak my mind without worrying that it might be wrong or I shouldn't be saying it. I have this big strong sense that no matter what I say, he won't take it as though I'm attacking him or anything.
The way he makes me feel is very different from what I've felt from my ex-boyfriends. It's a very warm feeling...kind of makes me feel like I finally belong... I've always had this feeling that something is going to happen and all I need to do was wait...and now I don't feel like I'm waiting anymore. I feel like I've finally found the "home" feeling I've been searching for. I really don't know how else I can describe it but it just feels right.