HELP ME
today is really not a good day for me......heres some shit i wrote....first a poem...then just something i wrote in math.....
The skys so dark,
and so is my soul
I hide my face,
and hide my emotions
there is no love for me,
my hope is no more
theres so many people here i dont like. sometimes i just wanna punch them, starngle them, and shoot them with no regret. theres so many beautiful faces that get all the guys, and the boy that should be mine. still i dont think i belong here, i dont fit in, me and my best friend, like a sister, we get the stares most are terrified to recieve. alike in so many ways, yet we are not the same. i need him back, to hold, to love. why'd he leave, why'd it fade away? i feel so alone sitting here in class, writing this pointless shit. im misunderstood by most, hated by some, and abused by my loneliness. i feel him come and go, yet my love for him never did fade. i hurt so much as i hold the tears inside, they drown my soul and tease my heart. why cant this feeling go away forever, why does it always return? so many have left me, left me so cold. i wish i never stared writing this, cuase now i cant stop. i want everyone to read this, but i'm afraid of what they'll think. wondering if anyone else will leave me, im so cautious with whom i trust. my words make no sense as i scream inside my head. i dont want to say those four words again but its true, each and everyone. think of them, figure them out, figure me out. who am i? does God even know? was putting me here all a mistake or was this never ment to happen. wanting no one to read this yet hopeing they do, i'll leave it in the open and let them read my life away. word after word, scream after scream. is anyone really who they seem to be? or is this all just a nightmare? one that i can wake up form and never think of again. am i crazy? am i insane? does anyone care? do you hear my screams, the silent ones too? they're back. the silent screams have returned, the ones i dreed, be ever watchful, watch my actions closely. dont let me fall back into my own pit. who are these people? i know none of them, and they dont know me. the boy i love, the one i lost, the one i distroy myself with. the other boy the one i love, the one i dont know, the one i feel i need. what do i do, do i bleed it all out? a moment to myself please *(remember pain is just fear leaving the body, let all the pain go)* i'm back to writing, pretend you never read my inner thought, it means nothing, or does it? when will i find myself when will this all end. just leave me alone i dont desurve to breathe. not a single thank you, never and applogie. FUCK YOU, FALL ALL I'VE EVER WANTED, FUCK LIFE, JUST LET ME BE!
^okay if you can figure out what four words i mean in that bolded part....comment and tell me what they are......
help me.....
forgiveness...