Despite March Madness
The twists and turns continue.
The wife of a dear friend has been diagnosed with cancer, and from what little I've been told, it isn't looking good. Seeing someone you care about in that state of wordless, tearful, "what the fuck do I do now" shock...All you can do is hug them. Offer whatever support you can. What else is there?
Makes me feel a little fucked up that I'm about to take off, that I won't be around to show support. Guess I just gotta focus on the facts that good people will be around and that science has made advances, so with any luck she will recover. Fingers crossed.
Insurance is still fucking me around with the medication. Thought I had it all straightened out, but no. Why on earth would they give me three months of rescue inhaler and nothing of the preventative one? I mean, if you're not gonna cover it, what the fuck does it matter to you?
And what is the big deal anyhow? It's not like these are opioids, it's not like I'm gonna be selling these in Canada. I need them to breathe properly.
The fuck am I paying these guys a hundred and thirty bucks a month for? Gimme my goddamn medicine. Why they gotta make it so complicated? Being the middle man gets old real quick.
So yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna get some in Canada. Prolly cheaper anyhow.
(Sigh) yeah, still feeling pretty aggressive. Less so, although you'd be hard pressed to tell by what I've written so far. Once more, praise be to the herbal comforts of chamomile and lavender.
And on that note, this entry is meant to be less of a general journal type and more of a gratitude type.
I am grateful to know my friend and his wife, they have both shown me such kindness over the past five years. I am glad they have been a part of my life.
I am grateful that I have access to medicine at all. No, things are not going as smoothly as they ought to be, but at least I have options.
The P3 getaway and ceremony was a much needed break from home and routine and everything that's been making me feel aggressive. Again, very grateful for that space we both had and created.
Also grateful that just when I'd given up all hope of finding my old buddy Ax, he appeared! I felt great joy at reuniting with my little monster friend. Canada, here we come!
I am grateful for the various gifts and kindnesses that I've been recipient of in regard to my pending departure, be they material, monetary, verbal or otherwise.
Grateful that a close friend is coming through with paying back a good chunk of money I loaned to them awhile ago.
It's pretty satisfying that in all this madness, I have managed to put myself first for the most part. That's not an easy task for me, but I feel like I'm getting the hang of it. And I'm grateful for the https://thepowerpath.com/ this month, which prompts one to take care of oneself; to give oneself priority where necessary. And I am now feeling that I am past the point of no return. Well said.
I am also suddenly feeling grateful that I haven't heard back from all the WOOF farms that I've reached out to. Hopefully that ambiguity won't fuck me up on trying to get a Visitor Record, as I was fretting about earlier.
Otherwise it feels positive though, leaves me some wiggle room. It now seems silly that I was trying to plan so far ahead. Plus, people on farms get up EARLY. And I am not exactly chipper or focused in the morning. So I think two and a half months of that may be quite enough.
When planning last year I was also forgetting that I want to spend some time volunteering at the animal shelter in town. And what if I get a line on a job offer? How will that change things? Yeah, better that I haven't gotten a hold of everyone.
I am grateful that the Mercury retrograde is through metaphorically kicking my ass.
Feeling very grateful for the sleepover I had with one of my surrogate mothers. Watching Blues Brothers while snacking on Salmon, dill Havarti cheese and Lingon berry jam. Quality canine time too. Yes, it was wonderful all around.
It's pretty cool that despite all the confusion and frustration with the currency snafu, I still had enough time to get some through my bank instead. Which ended up working out in my favor, because I made more off of the exchange than I would have with the other agency.
New season of Santa Clarita Diet is out. Love that show, so happy they made more of it. What a team those four are. I'm not usually into zombie stuff, but much like Shaun of the Dead, this one captured my attention and my heart. Ate my heart out? Tee hee.
So glad that there's only a few days left before I take off. The time of much earned relaxation is nigh. I need to be held and do nothing for a bit. Almost there.
Grateful for one of my favorite coworkers covering for me on Sunday, so I can have more time to pack.
Tomorrow should be fun, hanging out on the coast and seeing a bunch of people I haven't seen in awhile, hear some wonderful music.
Yes, despite all the difficulties and chest pains this month, there has still been a lot to be thankful for.