Never Too Late To Make It Right - Matt (original character fanfiction for Bec)
A gift for my beloved Bec, ciaimpala, a fanfic surrounding her Lost OC Matt Vaughn and his relationship with Jack Shepherd. This has been a long time coming so I hope she likes it!
Never Too Late To Make It Right
The elevator ding made both Matt and Jack jump at the same time. Matt was used to the noise; but he was holding Jack’s hand and when they stopped at their level, and his fingers clenched Matt’s palm. “Hatch?” Matt whispered as the doors opened to the carpeted floor.
Jack nodded and tried to shake off his nerves with a laugh. “Yeah...”
“Try not to be nervous,” Matt told him again as he tugged Jack into the hall. “You know Katie.”
“Yeah, but only at the hospital,” Jack pointed out. “When you were almost dying and she was freaking out with your sister.”
“Don’t be melodramatic.” Matt said, pausing in front of Katie’s door to straighten Jack’s midnight blue tie, a gift from Jordan. “As if I’d die.” He hit the doorbell and gave Jack a quick kiss on the cheek; he seemed to calm.
The front door open, and Katie greeted them with a beaming smile and the faint aroma of spaghetti sauce mixed with a vanilla perfume. “Hi!” She said brightly, taking in the couple, and then leaning in and giving them both a peck on the cheek. “You look great! Jack; good to see you out of scrubs.”
“Oh, thanks.” Jack chuckled nervously as Katie stood aside to let them in.
“Come in, come in,” Katie ushered them both into her apartment, which she had been meticulously cleaning since she’d woken up that morning. “Ignore how pretty everything is and just take it at face value that it always looks this good.”
Matt smirked at her. “I see you got Acadia’s grape juice throw up off the carpet,” He nodded at the floor just outside the bathroom. “Classy.”
Katie gave him a withering look. “The girl drinks every type of juice in the world and she has to puke up the ghoulish purple one.”
The three of them arrived in the kitchen. "Elliot," Katie said to the handsome man behind the stove stirring the spaghetti sauce. "You remember Jack, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure," Elliot left the stove and stuck out his hand and shook Jack's. "Nice to see you outta the hospital."
"Thanks."
Elliot shook Matt's hand told him he looked well. "Dinner will be ready soon?"
"He cooked?" Matt muttered to Katie.
"Yes, he did," Katie smiled at Elliot. "Wine?" She took a chilled bottle from the fridge to the countertop where four glasses waited, before she could start pouring a faint cry rang through the hall. "Damn. I thought she was down for the night."
"I'll get her," Elliot offered, kissing Katie's cheek. "You entertain."
"Thank you." Katie said, watching Elliot leave the kitchen.
"When are you two gonna get married already?" Matt asked with a grin taking the glass of red wine Katie was offering him.
Katie made a face at him. "When are you two gonna get married already?"
Matt gave her a coy grin and clinked his wine glass against hers.
"How old is your daughter?" Jack asked, taking a light sip from his drink.
"Ah," Katie's brow knitted together while she calculated. "Almost eighteen months. Walking, talking - well, babbling."
A sharp beeping interrupted the conversation, Jack set his wine down and removed his beeper from his belt. "Sorry." He said reading the number. "The hospital." He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. "Excuse me."
"He seems...okay." Katie took the spaghetti sauce off the stove and set it aside to cool.
"He is, I think." Matt replied, sipping his wine. "Some stuff still makes him jump. Work doesn't help, but he won't slow down." He noticed a framed photo on the countertop just by the phone. "Oh, hey," He picked it up and smiled at the picture of Katie and Acadia on Halloween, Katie wearing black cat ears with whiskers drawn on her face, and Acadia wearing a miniature policewoman's costume. "This is this year?"
Katie nodded. "Yeah, I had no idea what to dress her as. I was going to just dress her normal and tell everyone she was a Muggle, but she wouldn't put Elliot's badge down so I figured she could be a baby detective."
"Jordan's too old for Trick-or-Treating now." Matt set the photo back down. "Well, she still eats the candy and plays the tricks but she doesn't dress up."
"So," Katie said with a sigh a moment later, picking up her wine glass and leaning against the countertop. "How long are we not going to talk about what we're not talking about?"
"Hm?" Matt evaded her eyes.
"Why it took you so long to come see me." Katie said. "I've been asking you for months to come over to visit and you kept cancelling, avoiding me at work, dodging my calls."
Matt smiled, but his head dipped against his chest. "I thought you hadn't noticed."
"Of course I noticed."
"It's just... hard now." Matt admitted into his wine glass. "Things are so different than before the crash, but yet everything is the same." He knew that made no sense, but it was what he felt. "It's like I went through this massive shift in my life, but the world kept going."
"It has a tendency to do that." Katie deadpanned.
Matt managed a tight-lipped smile. "You remind me of a woman..." He caught himself before he said too much about Mia, according to the Lie they had only known each other the length of the flight. "I met her waiting at the gate in Sydney. She had a sister and a niece, too. But she was... I dunno. Troubled, I guess." He shrugged. "I couldn't save her. And seeing you just reminds me of that."
Katie appeared puzzled. "All this from a girl you met on a plane?"
Breathing deeply, Matt stared into his wine and continued passed the ache in his chest. "Sometimes I wonder... what it would have been like if I'd stayed behind."
"Don't say that." Katie cut in. "If you stayed you would be dead."
Matt managed to hide his guilt from her. It was all part of The Lie. He didn't like it, he didn't want to believe it, and in the silence of his dreams he pretended there wasn't a lie to begin with. In his dreams Mia was alive. In his heart he knew she was alive. Mia, Sawyer, Claire; everyone that had been left behind. His heart told him they still lived on, even if his mind and logic tried to convince him otherwise.
"Sorry," Jack announced as he came back into the kitchen. "Consult."
"Well, you're timing's great." Katie beamed at him, all remnants of her tense conversation with Matt evaporating from her features. "Dinner's ready."
---
Dinner with Katie and Elliot lasted only until about ten before Elliot was called in on a case in Brooklyn. A moment after he left, Acadia woke up again; so dinner was cut short. Jack had downed more wine than Matt, so he took the passenger's seat while Matt drove them home.
In comfortable silence, Matt pondered what Katie had said just before they'd sat down for dinner. "If you stayed you would be dead." He wondered if she was right about that.
Katie knew the Lie, not the truth. Matt knew she would understand, but he couldn't break the promise he had made to Jack. To everyone. This was their life; this was what they had to believe now. Katie had read everything about the Oceanic 815 survivors and believed what she read to be fact. That the plane crashed, that Matt and his friends were the only survivors and had barely managed to live for months before they attempted rescue. Matt wanted so badly to tell Katie the truth. That the island was still out there. Where "out there" he didn't know, but it was. And Mia was alive. So was Claire. Riley. Rose. Bernard. He knew they were alive but his promise kept him from telling anyone.
So, to Katie, Matt staying behind meant that he would have died in the crash. And Matt had no choice but to go along with it.
Sometimes in his dreams, he was still on the island. Stuck. Even waking up in Jack's arms, it took him a few moments to remind himself that he was safe now.
Matt pulled his car into their driveway and followed Jack inside. Jordan was asleep on the couch while a movie played on the television. She looked so comfortable, Matt just adjusted the blanket draped over her feet to keep her warm. He switched off the TV, but left the lamp on so she wouldn't be in the dark if she woke up.
Upstairs, Jack got straight into bed after probably too much to drink. Matt took his time, but when he finally got into his boxers and Jack was snoring, he didn't feel all that tired anymore. This recent wave of insomnia had been troubling him for the past month, since around the time he'd agreed to having dinner with Katie.
The act of dinner with a friend itself was harmless, but there were things he'd shut out of his mind so he was able to move on. He didn't let himself think about who they left behind, because the guilt was overpowering. He didn't regret leaving, not for a second, but there was always that part of his mind that wouldn't let him forget. Wouldn't stop reminding him that while he woke up in bed in the real world, his friends had 'blooped' into nothingness.
Wide awake, Matt climbed into bed beside Jack and stared at his ceiling, recalling that he'd stared at the ceiling in the hatch in a similar state of unrest mere months before. Jack's sleepy hands reached out for him and pulled him in close. Willing sleep to come to him, Matt closed his eyes and dipped his head against Jack's. He knew Jack felt the same guilt; but right now smothering it with alcohol was enough to help him move on.
"You still awake?" Jack murmured sleepily into Matt's ear.
"Yeah, a little..." Matt sighed. "Thinking too much."
"We had to leave, babe," Jack said, anticipating the cause of his boyfriend's anxieties. "We didn't belong on that island. We belong here."
"I know." Matt spun over and pressed his lips against Jack's mouth. "We belong here." As he repeated the words he knew he believed them, but there was still that nagging in his heart. That swelling ball of culpability bouncing around his skull keeping him from being completely happy. Right now he could suppress it, live with it aching in his body, but he worried for the day when he couldn't ignore it anymore. When laughing with Jordan and spending time with Jack wasn't enough to silence that noise.
But today wasn't that day. Tonight wasn't that night.
----
Never Too Late To Make It Right
The elevator ding made both Matt and Jack jump at the same time. Matt was used to the noise; but he was holding Jack’s hand and when they stopped at their level, and his fingers clenched Matt’s palm. “Hatch?” Matt whispered as the doors opened to the carpeted floor.
Jack nodded and tried to shake off his nerves with a laugh. “Yeah...”
“Try not to be nervous,” Matt told him again as he tugged Jack into the hall. “You know Katie.”
“Yeah, but only at the hospital,” Jack pointed out. “When you were almost dying and she was freaking out with your sister.”
“Don’t be melodramatic.” Matt said, pausing in front of Katie’s door to straighten Jack’s midnight blue tie, a gift from Jordan. “As if I’d die.” He hit the doorbell and gave Jack a quick kiss on the cheek; he seemed to calm.
The front door open, and Katie greeted them with a beaming smile and the faint aroma of spaghetti sauce mixed with a vanilla perfume. “Hi!” She said brightly, taking in the couple, and then leaning in and giving them both a peck on the cheek. “You look great! Jack; good to see you out of scrubs.”
“Oh, thanks.” Jack chuckled nervously as Katie stood aside to let them in.
“Come in, come in,” Katie ushered them both into her apartment, which she had been meticulously cleaning since she’d woken up that morning. “Ignore how pretty everything is and just take it at face value that it always looks this good.”
Matt smirked at her. “I see you got Acadia’s grape juice throw up off the carpet,” He nodded at the floor just outside the bathroom. “Classy.”
Katie gave him a withering look. “The girl drinks every type of juice in the world and she has to puke up the ghoulish purple one.”
The three of them arrived in the kitchen. "Elliot," Katie said to the handsome man behind the stove stirring the spaghetti sauce. "You remember Jack, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure," Elliot left the stove and stuck out his hand and shook Jack's. "Nice to see you outta the hospital."
"Thanks."
Elliot shook Matt's hand told him he looked well. "Dinner will be ready soon?"
"He cooked?" Matt muttered to Katie.
"Yes, he did," Katie smiled at Elliot. "Wine?" She took a chilled bottle from the fridge to the countertop where four glasses waited, before she could start pouring a faint cry rang through the hall. "Damn. I thought she was down for the night."
"I'll get her," Elliot offered, kissing Katie's cheek. "You entertain."
"Thank you." Katie said, watching Elliot leave the kitchen.
"When are you two gonna get married already?" Matt asked with a grin taking the glass of red wine Katie was offering him.
Katie made a face at him. "When are you two gonna get married already?"
Matt gave her a coy grin and clinked his wine glass against hers.
"How old is your daughter?" Jack asked, taking a light sip from his drink.
"Ah," Katie's brow knitted together while she calculated. "Almost eighteen months. Walking, talking - well, babbling."
A sharp beeping interrupted the conversation, Jack set his wine down and removed his beeper from his belt. "Sorry." He said reading the number. "The hospital." He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. "Excuse me."
"He seems...okay." Katie took the spaghetti sauce off the stove and set it aside to cool.
"He is, I think." Matt replied, sipping his wine. "Some stuff still makes him jump. Work doesn't help, but he won't slow down." He noticed a framed photo on the countertop just by the phone. "Oh, hey," He picked it up and smiled at the picture of Katie and Acadia on Halloween, Katie wearing black cat ears with whiskers drawn on her face, and Acadia wearing a miniature policewoman's costume. "This is this year?"
Katie nodded. "Yeah, I had no idea what to dress her as. I was going to just dress her normal and tell everyone she was a Muggle, but she wouldn't put Elliot's badge down so I figured she could be a baby detective."
"Jordan's too old for Trick-or-Treating now." Matt set the photo back down. "Well, she still eats the candy and plays the tricks but she doesn't dress up."
"So," Katie said with a sigh a moment later, picking up her wine glass and leaning against the countertop. "How long are we not going to talk about what we're not talking about?"
"Hm?" Matt evaded her eyes.
"Why it took you so long to come see me." Katie said. "I've been asking you for months to come over to visit and you kept cancelling, avoiding me at work, dodging my calls."
Matt smiled, but his head dipped against his chest. "I thought you hadn't noticed."
"Of course I noticed."
"It's just... hard now." Matt admitted into his wine glass. "Things are so different than before the crash, but yet everything is the same." He knew that made no sense, but it was what he felt. "It's like I went through this massive shift in my life, but the world kept going."
"It has a tendency to do that." Katie deadpanned.
Matt managed a tight-lipped smile. "You remind me of a woman..." He caught himself before he said too much about Mia, according to the Lie they had only known each other the length of the flight. "I met her waiting at the gate in Sydney. She had a sister and a niece, too. But she was... I dunno. Troubled, I guess." He shrugged. "I couldn't save her. And seeing you just reminds me of that."
Katie appeared puzzled. "All this from a girl you met on a plane?"
Breathing deeply, Matt stared into his wine and continued passed the ache in his chest. "Sometimes I wonder... what it would have been like if I'd stayed behind."
"Don't say that." Katie cut in. "If you stayed you would be dead."
Matt managed to hide his guilt from her. It was all part of The Lie. He didn't like it, he didn't want to believe it, and in the silence of his dreams he pretended there wasn't a lie to begin with. In his dreams Mia was alive. In his heart he knew she was alive. Mia, Sawyer, Claire; everyone that had been left behind. His heart told him they still lived on, even if his mind and logic tried to convince him otherwise.
"Sorry," Jack announced as he came back into the kitchen. "Consult."
"Well, you're timing's great." Katie beamed at him, all remnants of her tense conversation with Matt evaporating from her features. "Dinner's ready."
---
Dinner with Katie and Elliot lasted only until about ten before Elliot was called in on a case in Brooklyn. A moment after he left, Acadia woke up again; so dinner was cut short. Jack had downed more wine than Matt, so he took the passenger's seat while Matt drove them home.
In comfortable silence, Matt pondered what Katie had said just before they'd sat down for dinner. "If you stayed you would be dead." He wondered if she was right about that.
Katie knew the Lie, not the truth. Matt knew she would understand, but he couldn't break the promise he had made to Jack. To everyone. This was their life; this was what they had to believe now. Katie had read everything about the Oceanic 815 survivors and believed what she read to be fact. That the plane crashed, that Matt and his friends were the only survivors and had barely managed to live for months before they attempted rescue. Matt wanted so badly to tell Katie the truth. That the island was still out there. Where "out there" he didn't know, but it was. And Mia was alive. So was Claire. Riley. Rose. Bernard. He knew they were alive but his promise kept him from telling anyone.
So, to Katie, Matt staying behind meant that he would have died in the crash. And Matt had no choice but to go along with it.
Sometimes in his dreams, he was still on the island. Stuck. Even waking up in Jack's arms, it took him a few moments to remind himself that he was safe now.
Matt pulled his car into their driveway and followed Jack inside. Jordan was asleep on the couch while a movie played on the television. She looked so comfortable, Matt just adjusted the blanket draped over her feet to keep her warm. He switched off the TV, but left the lamp on so she wouldn't be in the dark if she woke up.
Upstairs, Jack got straight into bed after probably too much to drink. Matt took his time, but when he finally got into his boxers and Jack was snoring, he didn't feel all that tired anymore. This recent wave of insomnia had been troubling him for the past month, since around the time he'd agreed to having dinner with Katie.
The act of dinner with a friend itself was harmless, but there were things he'd shut out of his mind so he was able to move on. He didn't let himself think about who they left behind, because the guilt was overpowering. He didn't regret leaving, not for a second, but there was always that part of his mind that wouldn't let him forget. Wouldn't stop reminding him that while he woke up in bed in the real world, his friends had 'blooped' into nothingness.
Wide awake, Matt climbed into bed beside Jack and stared at his ceiling, recalling that he'd stared at the ceiling in the hatch in a similar state of unrest mere months before. Jack's sleepy hands reached out for him and pulled him in close. Willing sleep to come to him, Matt closed his eyes and dipped his head against Jack's. He knew Jack felt the same guilt; but right now smothering it with alcohol was enough to help him move on.
"You still awake?" Jack murmured sleepily into Matt's ear.
"Yeah, a little..." Matt sighed. "Thinking too much."
"We had to leave, babe," Jack said, anticipating the cause of his boyfriend's anxieties. "We didn't belong on that island. We belong here."
"I know." Matt spun over and pressed his lips against Jack's mouth. "We belong here." As he repeated the words he knew he believed them, but there was still that nagging in his heart. That swelling ball of culpability bouncing around his skull keeping him from being completely happy. Right now he could suppress it, live with it aching in his body, but he worried for the day when he couldn't ignore it anymore. When laughing with Jordan and spending time with Jack wasn't enough to silence that noise.
But today wasn't that day. Tonight wasn't that night.
----