Mangled - Interlude
Mangled - Interlude
Not actually part of the story itself (which is why I've done it as an interlude), but it was a snapshot of something that occured to me within the context of writing and I don't quite want to turn it into something all by itself. I know it's possibly something that if I wanted to post, I should have spent a little more time on, but I just needed to get it out and I didn't feel it deserved to be stand-alone.
Characters: Predominantly Scotty and Kevin but of course the other Walkers all put in their appearances
Summary: So, it turns out you can mangle anything; cars, people, relationships...
Rating: PG
Genre: Part angst, part hurt-comfort and true to tradition poor Scotty seems to be the source of it all!
Disclaimer: The characters you recognise do not belong to me, I can only dream... The ones you don't recognise are my creations and are simply here for my own amusement.
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Kevin Walker woke with a start. Anxiously he looked at the digital alarm clock on the cabinet next to the bed: 06:37. Relieved, he rubbed his hands over his face. He was paranoid about oversleeping - either the alarm not going off or, even worse, sleeping through it. The sudden movement disturbed Scotty, who moved sleepily; Scotty was lying with his back to Kevin having slept solidly for a good 12 hours thanks to his pain medication.
“Hey,” Kevin said softly, rolling so his arm draped across Scotty’s stomach. Scotty rolled onto his back and lay there, looking up at the ceiling. “How are you doing?” Scotty thought for a few minute.
“Part of me just wants today to be over so badly, whatever the outcome. Another part of me wants to stay here forever because I can’t face what might happen.” Scotty started chewing his lip. Kevin leaned into Scotty and gently kissed his lips. The tension radiated through Scotty’s whole body. Kevin pulled him close, instantly recalling the way he had held Scotty, usually so strong, the evening before Kevin underwent surgery. Normally in control of everything, calm as can be, Kevin sometimes forgot how vulnerable Scotty could be.
As they laid together, Kevin thought about all the times his husband had been there to support him, even though there must have been time Scotty was hurting just as much. Through all the trouble with Tommy, Kitty’s cancer, the miscarriages, the accident, Scotty had taken care of him and, as he thought about it, the rest of the family. Scotty had nursed him after surgery, been there through Justin’s tours of duty; not once had his husband criticised him for quitting his job with Robert. Even after Scotty had lost his own job, he never pressured Kevin about finding a job and pronto! Instead, he had allowed his husband the time to find his own direction.
Kevin thought of the times he had disappointed his husband, how he’d let him down: running off on their wedding night to address a further one of his father’s infidelities, their first anniversary when Kevin flew down to Mexico with his brother and sisters (albeit with Scotty’s blessing) to chase after his mother and older brother. Kevin though of each small betrayal: how he was prepared to sacrifice their security without even discussing it with his husband, all to try and keep Julia and Elizabeth nearby and going to that stupid bar instead of the opening of his husband’s business.
Kevin thought about their family. The miscarriages still hurt him more than he would have believed. The clarity of hindsight helped him recognise that through it all, Scotty had taken care of him. All those mornings he felt so depressed about everything he couldn’t even get out of bed, Scotty had been there for him, and all the while Scotty had spent time taking care of Michelle. All through that time, right up until Michelle left, Scotty had been with either one or the other of them, even as things got more and more hectic in the run-up to the restaurant’s opening.
Kevin felt a chill as he remembered coming home one evening, drunk after an evening with his family. Scotty had not gone, apologising as he had made plans to spend time with Michelle. Kevin walked into their apartment, angry and hurt, and found Scotty sitting in the apartment alone. If he hadn’t been drunk, he would have noticed the pain in his husband’s eyes, the dried tears on his face. He would have heard the softly uttered “she’s gone,” as he had walked in. Scotty had gone to Michelle’s apartment to find it empty with a scribbled not of apology sticky-taped to the door. No forwarding address, nothing, just an apology.
All Kevin understood when he saw Scotty was that his husband had chosen not to be with him. In his drunken state, an inexplicable anger and frustration had overtaken Kevin and he felt the irrepressible urge to throw things like a child who hadn’t got their own way. Kevin picked up the nearest thing to him, the Liza pillow, and threw it at his husband. He picked up another cushion and threw that, too, then another, and another; all the time the tears burned his eyes. Fortunately the alcohol and his grief and anger had done nothing to help his aim. The crashing sound of the breaking lamp was enough to stun Kevin. Shock overwhelmed him as he realised what he’d done. He walked past a shocked Scotty into their bedroom and closed the door softly, his energy spent.
Scotty had sighed, followed Kevin into their bedroom and found him sitting on the floor behind the door, his knees bent and arms folded, head resting on them. Scotty had held him, wiped his tears with a cool, moist flannel and got him to bed.
As Kevin had lain there alone, he heard the quiet clinks of broken pottery being swept up and dropped into the trash can. He heard the airing cupboard door open and close, and waited for Scotty to come into him with a clean pair of pyjamas.
Scotty never came. He spent the night sleeping on the sofa. That night, Scotty was terrified. The next morning, in the sober light of day, so was Kevin.
Kevin remembered how sick he had felt when Scotty had told him about Marcus. It was a big thing for them; very nearly destroying their marriage and for a moment Kevin forgot about all the times he had not been there for Scotty.
As they laid together that morning, Kevin thought about everything they had been through; how Scotty had always been a pillar of strength for him, the many turns their relationship had taken through the years and of their daughter asleep in the next room. He also thought about how he would do anything to make sure all that wasn't taken away from him.