Chelsea's Advice on Relationships
Wow, you really are an idiot if you're reading this one thinking you where going to get any good advice. Knock, knock hello? I AM TWENTY AND DEVORCED! Don’t listen to me. All of my relationships have been jokes. A special sorry to: Eric, Daniel, Chris, Nick, Hale, Scott, Ashley, Tim, Kenny, Lindsay, Mike, Gavin, Everett, Joel, Eddy, Dorian, Nick, Ashley, and anyone else that took offence. On second thought Mike can suck one, he I wish to do more then simply offend…but I digress.
I think courtship should be brought back into play. You like someone you ask them if you can court them. Then after an allotted amount of time you get to do more then supervised outings and if you are still smitten then you can date, move in with, marry, or mount them.
BIG MISTAKE NUMBER ONE, kissing, “touching”, or boinking before the phrase, “I’m keen on you,” is uttered. BIG MISTAKE NUMBER TWO, thinking you dig someone because they dig you. Don’t tell me you have never talked yourself into thinking someone could rock your world simply because they got all up in your grill. Someone showing interest in you can go a long way to boost the ego and lower the standards. It could be a “girl thing” but if you say so you lie like the dog that you are…not that I am bitter or anything. Really I am only a little bitter because I am a lone, most of the bitterness comes from being short, not blond, and being cursed with a love of all things masculine (foot ball, cars, beer and pizza for breakfast, blowing things up, and strip joints)…also, I am smarter then you and that bothers most men. I know I am not cool and that I will never get laid again so stop looking at me with such pity, ok. Finally BIG MISTAKE NUMBER THREE, Letting a relationship fester on and on because you remember when it was still great. Chances are that if you are miserable now, you will be miserable latter. If once upon a wet dream things were oober great but now are reminiscent of a root canal it was most likely lust and not love so stop wasting your time with the putz.
What made me think anyone wanted to read this? The same thing that makes me think that anyone would want to read anything that I wrote, because it was mildly amusing and I am THE GODDESS OF THE NORTH and it is my way of giving back to my loyal followers. You may now go back to chanting and burning incense in my honor.
CKS
I think courtship should be brought back into play. You like someone you ask them if you can court them. Then after an allotted amount of time you get to do more then supervised outings and if you are still smitten then you can date, move in with, marry, or mount them.
BIG MISTAKE NUMBER ONE, kissing, “touching”, or boinking before the phrase, “I’m keen on you,” is uttered. BIG MISTAKE NUMBER TWO, thinking you dig someone because they dig you. Don’t tell me you have never talked yourself into thinking someone could rock your world simply because they got all up in your grill. Someone showing interest in you can go a long way to boost the ego and lower the standards. It could be a “girl thing” but if you say so you lie like the dog that you are…not that I am bitter or anything. Really I am only a little bitter because I am a lone, most of the bitterness comes from being short, not blond, and being cursed with a love of all things masculine (foot ball, cars, beer and pizza for breakfast, blowing things up, and strip joints)…also, I am smarter then you and that bothers most men. I know I am not cool and that I will never get laid again so stop looking at me with such pity, ok. Finally BIG MISTAKE NUMBER THREE, Letting a relationship fester on and on because you remember when it was still great. Chances are that if you are miserable now, you will be miserable latter. If once upon a wet dream things were oober great but now are reminiscent of a root canal it was most likely lust and not love so stop wasting your time with the putz.
What made me think anyone wanted to read this? The same thing that makes me think that anyone would want to read anything that I wrote, because it was mildly amusing and I am THE GODDESS OF THE NORTH and it is my way of giving back to my loyal followers. You may now go back to chanting and burning incense in my honor.
CKS