Third day
Okay I'm kind of coming off the high of the break-up. I woke up this morning with dry eyes and a sore lower back. No, I can't have my body crumbling...my mind will follow. Ugh, I do NOT want to feel vulnerable right now. I want to be the essence of confidence. I want to photosynthesize confidence.
Someone lovely once told me that one must be as arrogant as possible on stage and must be as humble as possible off-stage. Which really has nothing to do with what I'm feeling but is stuck in my head. And making me wonder where I stand.
Yep, it's all kicking in. That I need a plan to start over.
Yesterday I got the hell out of dodge and went to see Brandon and Jessi in Raleigh. I just needed to be away from it all. And be with my friends who have all this time been supporting me dating Sean by saying nothing at all and waiting for me to come to terms with it all. But now that it's all over, they are all incredibly grateful. I'm grateful. I'm a lot of the things. I didn't to say much at all, but their kindness about innocuous things said so much.
But I am definitely coming off that high of being a strong, sexy, independent women.
Last night I was just looking through a bunch of old PTP pictures. Trips we took together, themed parties we had, drunken debauchery, all the hook-ups and the drama. Weddings. Hibernian Trivia. People who have moved away. People who were only around for a little while but still remain in the stories. Even looking at the pictures of when I was with JM and crushing on Frankie, it all kind of made me happy. Those were exciting crazy times, and there are so many significant memories that weaves my personality together.
Even though I have never been a BFF kind of person, I have never been more grateful to have this group of friends. There was a time when I self-destructed and was a mess and drove everyone away from me. I really did drive my life into the ground. And I rose again, and we all found each other again. Let's face it, the PTPs are sealed for life lol.
We make a pretty good story. I'll have to write it someday. Don't worry, Jessi...I got a lot of free time. I'll get on it.
Someone lovely once told me that one must be as arrogant as possible on stage and must be as humble as possible off-stage. Which really has nothing to do with what I'm feeling but is stuck in my head. And making me wonder where I stand.
Yep, it's all kicking in. That I need a plan to start over.
Yesterday I got the hell out of dodge and went to see Brandon and Jessi in Raleigh. I just needed to be away from it all. And be with my friends who have all this time been supporting me dating Sean by saying nothing at all and waiting for me to come to terms with it all. But now that it's all over, they are all incredibly grateful. I'm grateful. I'm a lot of the things. I didn't to say much at all, but their kindness about innocuous things said so much.
But I am definitely coming off that high of being a strong, sexy, independent women.
Last night I was just looking through a bunch of old PTP pictures. Trips we took together, themed parties we had, drunken debauchery, all the hook-ups and the drama. Weddings. Hibernian Trivia. People who have moved away. People who were only around for a little while but still remain in the stories. Even looking at the pictures of when I was with JM and crushing on Frankie, it all kind of made me happy. Those were exciting crazy times, and there are so many significant memories that weaves my personality together.
Even though I have never been a BFF kind of person, I have never been more grateful to have this group of friends. There was a time when I self-destructed and was a mess and drove everyone away from me. I really did drive my life into the ground. And I rose again, and we all found each other again. Let's face it, the PTPs are sealed for life lol.
We make a pretty good story. I'll have to write it someday. Don't worry, Jessi...I got a lot of free time. I'll get on it.