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May 09, 2006 19:27

Sometimes I wish I was a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason" because right now I would find extreme comfort in that right now. I think that yesterday was an extreme emotional overload and I felt a little too femme. I don't like feeling like that. I feel like I ruin a lot of things. But luckily, I have good friends and hope nothing was perminantly damaged. I'm finally getting things off my mind. Maybe I will sleep easier tonight. I don't know. I'm starting to get another migrane. I still think I'm going to die. I could suffocate in my room because I've been smoking like a chimney in here almost all day because I have horrible nerves. God damn. I hope I can get out of school tomorrow so I can spend a lovely day with my Amanda and have a picnic and basically have fun. I miss her so much. I feel bad for forging a note or calling in as my mother but I seriously cannot take anymore of Natomas High School. It's so fucking ghetto. Really, the students are, not too much the school itself. Most of the teachers, for example MS. QUALITY, should really not be teachers. I'm not a bad student, I do my work and have always had an A when it comes to english but I guess now I have a D? This is horrible. My step-mom keeps harping on me about that and it's really not up to me! It's up to that bitch of a teacher. I want to make some soup even though it's hot. Whatever. 4 more weeks is all I have left.
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