(no subject)
hmmm update...
well...summer so far has kinda been a blurr...I got a job at Romitos working in the Deli and Chas asked me to come back to Exodus to do front desk work for him when they get busy so hopefully Ill be making some money this summer. I got my car back...the sad thing is though that I never seem to have anywhere to go...its weird, before summer started I was excited to come home and see all my friends and I cant decide whether I just convinced myself that I had more friends then I actually do or what. I feel like I lost some of my friends while I was away at school and that makes me really sad, loseing friends as I went to college was the thing that I worried most about and I would hate to think that it actually happened...I dont know. Maybe I just thought I meant more to certain people then I actually do....I think my depression is coming back....I try not to think about it too much, but i think its resulting in me holding in all my emotions which might not be a good thing, I dont know, Im ignoring my negative feelings...going on walks and pushing them to the back of my brain. A slightly false smile is better then being annoying unhappy all the time right?
I havent gotten a full night of actual sleep in about a week, I can never seem to stop my mind racing long enough to fall asleep till at least 3 am if Im lucky.I think it might have to do with nightmares because before my insomnia came back I had a really bad one, I dont really remember it but i woke up with a start and screamed and was all sweaty...yea
but anyway...this entry was not meant for me to just complain, but also to update. Since there is no possible means to get a hold of taylor what so ever I went on an adventure to her house and knocked and kinda forced her to spend time with me bcause I missed her and yesterday we went to the Savers half off sale and she bought the most gorgeous Vintage purple dress I have ever seen and it fit us both amazingly and it was only three dollars and even though she bought it and not me i think it was an amazing investment and so now im hoping for there to be some mysterious forman gathering like the one that becky through at school so that I have an excuse to wear it. ( you know it must be pretty awesome if i want to wear a dress!)
ugh...this is a sucky update but I tried...
well...summer so far has kinda been a blurr...I got a job at Romitos working in the Deli and Chas asked me to come back to Exodus to do front desk work for him when they get busy so hopefully Ill be making some money this summer. I got my car back...the sad thing is though that I never seem to have anywhere to go...its weird, before summer started I was excited to come home and see all my friends and I cant decide whether I just convinced myself that I had more friends then I actually do or what. I feel like I lost some of my friends while I was away at school and that makes me really sad, loseing friends as I went to college was the thing that I worried most about and I would hate to think that it actually happened...I dont know. Maybe I just thought I meant more to certain people then I actually do....I think my depression is coming back....I try not to think about it too much, but i think its resulting in me holding in all my emotions which might not be a good thing, I dont know, Im ignoring my negative feelings...going on walks and pushing them to the back of my brain. A slightly false smile is better then being annoying unhappy all the time right?
I havent gotten a full night of actual sleep in about a week, I can never seem to stop my mind racing long enough to fall asleep till at least 3 am if Im lucky.I think it might have to do with nightmares because before my insomnia came back I had a really bad one, I dont really remember it but i woke up with a start and screamed and was all sweaty...yea
but anyway...this entry was not meant for me to just complain, but also to update. Since there is no possible means to get a hold of taylor what so ever I went on an adventure to her house and knocked and kinda forced her to spend time with me bcause I missed her and yesterday we went to the Savers half off sale and she bought the most gorgeous Vintage purple dress I have ever seen and it fit us both amazingly and it was only three dollars and even though she bought it and not me i think it was an amazing investment and so now im hoping for there to be some mysterious forman gathering like the one that becky through at school so that I have an excuse to wear it. ( you know it must be pretty awesome if i want to wear a dress!)
ugh...this is a sucky update but I tried...