come back my little piece of mind.littlerobotsApril 11 2008, 00:45:58 UTC
i need more people like you that understand where im coming from in my life. I think I just think/feel differently than other people. The people who call me stupid are just people that dont have the same feelings that I get and there is nothing wrong with that, were just all different people. But I know that a lot of people dont get into the crazy dark moods that I get into that make it really hard for me to want to even continue. like you said, it is for people with certain kinds of personalities. My dad is the same way i am so i got it from him.
i cant be alone. im scared to be alone. im rarely alone. I used to be such a loner but i loved it. i would always be alone and write to myself and think about life and i was a much stronger person. Now i hate being alone. I hate thinking by myself and i hate thinking about whats going on in my life. if ive gotta be alone then im sleeping that time through. I see my own strengths but my own strengths just arent strong enough because of the...world im stuck in right now. im stuck in a bubble. A really foggy bubble that nobody else can enter. Im nauseous and sick and weak and all i ever want to do is sleep. Its a disease i know ill get rid of but i dont want it anymore. Im just alone on this one for now.
Im sorry to hear about your experiences but in an odd way it seems like it was really good for you to jsut be isolated to be by yourself. you got to figure out all the things you need to think about. maybe thats my issue. I dont ever want to think about everything that has happened to me this year so i never heal. I just dont want to. Im not ready yet to think about it all. it is different for every person so im just gunna have to figure out how to step out of my bubble. Im thinking summer will help me. No school, just work and moving out. thank you for such a great compliment and all of your kindness and compassion. I really appreciate it. Its weird how knowing someone else cares and can compare to how im feeling makes me feel so much better. Even though we are mostly just LJ friends but sadly LJ has truely made my life so much better over the last nine or ten years.
God is a whole different story in this. I dont beleive in god but i guess when youre in that special state of mind where everything seems like its falling apart, i might turn to god or even blame it on him. I know its all up to me. I hate how ive become. I was such a stong woman growing up. But heartbreak seemed to turn into a million other things and i became a very week person.
and you comment was perfect. thanks so much. it made me feel incredible.
i cant be alone. im scared to be alone. im rarely alone. I used to be such a loner but i loved it. i would always be alone and write to myself and think about life and i was a much stronger person. Now i hate being alone. I hate thinking by myself and i hate thinking about whats going on in my life. if ive gotta be alone then im sleeping that time through. I see my own strengths but my own strengths just arent strong enough because of the...world im stuck in right now. im stuck in a bubble. A really foggy bubble that nobody else can enter. Im nauseous and sick and weak and all i ever want to do is sleep. Its a disease i know ill get rid of but i dont want it anymore. Im just alone on this one for now.
Im sorry to hear about your experiences but in an odd way it seems like it was really good for you to jsut be isolated to be by yourself. you got to figure out all the things you need to think about. maybe thats my issue. I dont ever want to think about everything that has happened to me this year so i never heal. I just dont want to. Im not ready yet to think about it all. it is different for every person so im just gunna have to figure out how to step out of my bubble. Im thinking summer will help me. No school, just work and moving out. thank you for such a great compliment and all of your kindness and compassion. I really appreciate it. Its weird how knowing someone else cares and can compare to how im feeling makes me feel so much better. Even though we are mostly just LJ friends but sadly LJ has truely made my life so much better over the last nine or ten years.
God is a whole different story in this. I dont beleive in god but i guess when youre in that special state of mind where everything seems like its falling apart, i might turn to god or even blame it on him. I know its all up to me. I hate how ive become. I was such a stong woman growing up. But heartbreak seemed to turn into a million other things and i became a very week person.
and you comment was perfect. thanks so much. it made me feel incredible.
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