Updating
My boss tried to fire me without telling me. Now if nothing else it strikes me as a little rude, don't you think? I ask her, I ask, "could I just do late Sunday shifts from now?" this being easier and more convenient for me in general. "Yes" she says, no problem in more or or less as many words. Come in and told I'm not meant to be in that Sunday, or the next. So week later come by to see if I'm in the next, told no you've been taken off the rota because they didn't need someone on late Sundays... fine, why the frell didn't you tell me?! So I'm back on the rota, having provided a more flexible schedule, for some reason, and so my employment continues.
Signed up to the RAG gig with the union. They will just get me involved with everything they can... not really complaining, love it to be honest, but well let's have at it. One more thing for me to do.
I don't spend enough time with my family. Haven't seen my Dad, or Grandmother or goddaughters in much too long. Though we are fast approaching the Season. I suppose I shall make up for lost time through it. Told we're doing a Christmas dinner amongst the flat, that'll be nice. Interesting at least, I'm sure.
You know at times it is very frustrating having to suffer the opinions of other people. I've gotten a lot better at not caring that I once once... or other people are not as up front with their opinions as they once were. I think perhaps the latter is more likely. If it were the former this paragraph would not be here and I would not be mentioning now how frustrating it is to know that a number of people think of me as scary and sex mad and find me intimidating. I suspect, with less certainty, that some may even find me to be, I suppose the word should be, uncaring. I won't bother to say much more because it should surely be obviously that I don't think of myself in those ways so you should understand the frustration.
I'm babbling a little bit aren't I? Do I sound pretentious when I write like this? I think I do. I suppose I am, and don't necessarily consider it to be a bad thing. It's not like I'm condescending, oh dear am I? Oh dear oh dear I really shouldn't worry so much about it. I shan't, moving on.
The Big Fat Gay nights are a challenge. Got April booked! Need to change the date though, our brothers at the 'other university' are away that week. To be honest not sure when we are or not, different departments do different weeks.
Still enjoying my presidency, more or less. Occasionally stressful. Often busy. And you can just never please the buggers! Not all of them. Not all of the time. But that's the rub ain't it.
I feel lonely. Sometimes. Sometimes often. Sometimes it's fine. But there are times and I feel lonely. Unsatisfied. Oh how easy it would if I know what I was missing. There's no spark in my life, I need a spark! Some great and burning. Is that me being foolish? Does a life need a great and burning passion? Or do I just need a little candle, a reason to want to get out of bed in the morning. Or something to do that amuses me in my evenings and leaves me satisfied in it's completion. I have the latter of course, I can write, or draw. But... lack the great passion to do it, the doggedness to get on with it and finish it. Things become a chore, so easily.
I hate sex. Really I do, the very idea is thoroughly annoying. Having to want it, having to think about it, talk about it, watch it, see it, hear it. I hate that it's just such an issue all the time. Like between people, in friendships, in relationships, and having to worry so much about it and about protection and lube and frequency and skill. You know?
Now see I think I confused myself there. I worry that I confuse being lonely with lacking a passion. I need someway to resolve them both for for right now I'm just going to throw them both out here and let you people deal with it all.
Signed up to the RAG gig with the union. They will just get me involved with everything they can... not really complaining, love it to be honest, but well let's have at it. One more thing for me to do.
I don't spend enough time with my family. Haven't seen my Dad, or Grandmother or goddaughters in much too long. Though we are fast approaching the Season. I suppose I shall make up for lost time through it. Told we're doing a Christmas dinner amongst the flat, that'll be nice. Interesting at least, I'm sure.
You know at times it is very frustrating having to suffer the opinions of other people. I've gotten a lot better at not caring that I once once... or other people are not as up front with their opinions as they once were. I think perhaps the latter is more likely. If it were the former this paragraph would not be here and I would not be mentioning now how frustrating it is to know that a number of people think of me as scary and sex mad and find me intimidating. I suspect, with less certainty, that some may even find me to be, I suppose the word should be, uncaring. I won't bother to say much more because it should surely be obviously that I don't think of myself in those ways so you should understand the frustration.
I'm babbling a little bit aren't I? Do I sound pretentious when I write like this? I think I do. I suppose I am, and don't necessarily consider it to be a bad thing. It's not like I'm condescending, oh dear am I? Oh dear oh dear I really shouldn't worry so much about it. I shan't, moving on.
The Big Fat Gay nights are a challenge. Got April booked! Need to change the date though, our brothers at the 'other university' are away that week. To be honest not sure when we are or not, different departments do different weeks.
Still enjoying my presidency, more or less. Occasionally stressful. Often busy. And you can just never please the buggers! Not all of them. Not all of the time. But that's the rub ain't it.
I feel lonely. Sometimes. Sometimes often. Sometimes it's fine. But there are times and I feel lonely. Unsatisfied. Oh how easy it would if I know what I was missing. There's no spark in my life, I need a spark! Some great and burning. Is that me being foolish? Does a life need a great and burning passion? Or do I just need a little candle, a reason to want to get out of bed in the morning. Or something to do that amuses me in my evenings and leaves me satisfied in it's completion. I have the latter of course, I can write, or draw. But... lack the great passion to do it, the doggedness to get on with it and finish it. Things become a chore, so easily.
I hate sex. Really I do, the very idea is thoroughly annoying. Having to want it, having to think about it, talk about it, watch it, see it, hear it. I hate that it's just such an issue all the time. Like between people, in friendships, in relationships, and having to worry so much about it and about protection and lube and frequency and skill. You know?
Now see I think I confused myself there. I worry that I confuse being lonely with lacking a passion. I need someway to resolve them both for for right now I'm just going to throw them both out here and let you people deal with it all.