Upset lately...a lot...

[littleraejay]

So, let's see what has been going on in my life... I'm single...once again! And Brittany is right...that won't last very long...hopefully at least...because I like this guy named Trey. Super sweet and he lives in Virginia Beach. I've lost a "friend" from him, but I don't really care..she's just jealous! Haha! Anyways, lately I've been really down...I don't know why? Oh well, not much longer before I'm home...where I am most happy...well for a few exceptions. Ohh yeah! I found a roomie for next year! Jordan! Hell yah! We are going to have a great year! And then hopefully if we all get along we are getting an appartment junior year. I swear these college years are going to go by soooooo fast! But let's see ohhhh gosh! So, I hate french...I swear! My teacher is such a dumb ass fuck! She made me miss my other class and finish my presentation in another class because she didn't want to contiune on another day...wtf...and while I was doing my presentation she kept telling me that my information was wrong? I was like....well this is what I found out about it...and I just had enough and straight walked out...and as soon as I walked out the door I threw all my shit on the ground and freaking lost it. I need to take some of these problems to the department chair.

Please someone tell me why I keep thinking...what if...I swear...what is wrong with me...I keep thinking about him and it isn't helping because Trey and *him like the same music and tv shows....but I like Trey so much...he makes me feel so good. But why do I feel like he likes me one day then the next he doesn't. I think she was right about him and his ex....I think his ex is ugly...she is what am I talking about...anyways....I can't seem to get my heart away from me. Even after all the pain and problems he has put me through..I still seem to have these feelings for him....sometimes I wonder if I will ever love again...he took my heart and my energy for relationships...I wonder if he ever thinks about me...I was so good to him...only good things happened to him because of me....he never thinks about me what am I talking about...to him I am a fly on horse shit...nothing...

Spring Weekend kinda sucked. But I do love getting drunk in the day though...then going to a concert and talking to guys that I know but dont really  talk to...its freaking great! Friday night was the field party...it was soooo cold...thats what made it soooo bad....and Sunday was really the start of how days have been so bad. Monday and Tuesday I was running on no sleep....no sleep for 2 days...sucks...No Doze will screw you over...trust me I took 2 pills and couldn't sleep...oh well...I'm starting to sleep more often now...well not really I'm always so damn busy...I just bring it upon myself though.

What else is going on in America...well I went to Hampton Sydeny...LOTS OF FUN! I will never forget those 2 nights there! And I know there will be more to come because next year I will have my car and I get to do whatever the hell I want, but I need to get a damn job...therefore I can go home whenever I want...gas costs an arm and a leg these days. Not cool....

How could a guy like him EVER like a girl like me...I just wanna tell him one day...straight up...I think youre cute and I like you..nothing would happen. He thinks that girls are nothing but trouble....haha....

I love how when something pops in my head I must start a new paragraph..haha...yesterday I was sooo pissed I ran to walmart--which is about 6 miles...in the mid day..smart move Ashley...alrighty well I guess I better get going and go running/gym...I don't think Im going out tonight I'll just watch a movie or something alone...because I'm such a fucking loser! AHHH! Only 6 class days left then exam week!!

MAY 5 CANT COME SOON ENOUGH!