Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired
So after reading some input between Jill and the wife of her childs father I'm really debating if I should contact Bill's family. I got along with his mother, she was a very sweet woman and paid more attention to me than Bill did when I went to his family events. His sister and I also got along very well. I'm not asking for them to be my best friends but a part of me does want them to know Parker and possibly be a part of his life. I don't know if his father will ever be a part of his life. Everything is going through the courts, he won't talk to me and I wish he would. I know people think I should take him for everything he's worth but I don't want his money. I want my child to have a father.
I always hear that someday I'll meet the right man who'll love me and my child and I'll never look back. But until that happens I wouldn't be opposed to Bill having some contact with our child. I look at my child everyday, how much he's grown, how much he's learning, how smart, bright and funny he is and I just wonder how someone wouldn't want to love him. I know it kills my mother, because she thinks I'm just sitting back waiting for everything to fall into place. I guess in a way I am. I don't know how to approach the situation. The last thing in the world I want to do is cause a rift in his family. I also don't want to come off as the crazy ex girlfriend. I know once upon a time he was willing to stand by me and be a father to our child. How do I make him realize he can still do that even if we're not together.
In other news I've given up on men. After the whole Reid ordeal I quit. I'm not saying I'm becoming a lesbian but I'm just honestly done searching for someone. I wasn't looking for the one, or a father substitute for Parker. I don't even introduce my child to people who aren't going to stay around. He's met some of my close male friends such as Rick and Thomas but I don't bring men around him otherwise. I realize 100% that I need to focus on me and on him, it's just hard to not want companionship in the form of a male. I'm not used to being alone. I know it's something I have to learn to do before I can actually make a relationship work and it's probably one of the reasons non of my previous relationships have worked out.
I just wish I could find a job closer to home so that I wouldn't have such long days and I'd be more able to do more things with Parker and more things for myself. I leave the house around 7:30am and doing get home until around 7PM I have to feed Parker and myself, get him bathed and ready for bed and to sleep. Then I have some time for myself but that's typically devoted to having some online time to myself, a shower or laundry. That extra hour or two I could have if I didn't have an hour commute would be glorious.
Enough banter from me, if anyone feels obliged to add their two cents on if I should contact Bill's family please feel free to voice it. I don't judge and am always looking for input.
I always hear that someday I'll meet the right man who'll love me and my child and I'll never look back. But until that happens I wouldn't be opposed to Bill having some contact with our child. I look at my child everyday, how much he's grown, how much he's learning, how smart, bright and funny he is and I just wonder how someone wouldn't want to love him. I know it kills my mother, because she thinks I'm just sitting back waiting for everything to fall into place. I guess in a way I am. I don't know how to approach the situation. The last thing in the world I want to do is cause a rift in his family. I also don't want to come off as the crazy ex girlfriend. I know once upon a time he was willing to stand by me and be a father to our child. How do I make him realize he can still do that even if we're not together.
In other news I've given up on men. After the whole Reid ordeal I quit. I'm not saying I'm becoming a lesbian but I'm just honestly done searching for someone. I wasn't looking for the one, or a father substitute for Parker. I don't even introduce my child to people who aren't going to stay around. He's met some of my close male friends such as Rick and Thomas but I don't bring men around him otherwise. I realize 100% that I need to focus on me and on him, it's just hard to not want companionship in the form of a male. I'm not used to being alone. I know it's something I have to learn to do before I can actually make a relationship work and it's probably one of the reasons non of my previous relationships have worked out.
I just wish I could find a job closer to home so that I wouldn't have such long days and I'd be more able to do more things with Parker and more things for myself. I leave the house around 7:30am and doing get home until around 7PM I have to feed Parker and myself, get him bathed and ready for bed and to sleep. Then I have some time for myself but that's typically devoted to having some online time to myself, a shower or laundry. That extra hour or two I could have if I didn't have an hour commute would be glorious.
Enough banter from me, if anyone feels obliged to add their two cents on if I should contact Bill's family please feel free to voice it. I don't judge and am always looking for input.