This unfortunate, unpredictable, brilliant thing called life
I can't believe it's been so long since my last entry. I don't even have anything in particular to say just now, just thought I'd write at least a few lines only to get the ball rolling. I've been reading some of my friends' entries here, so I figured I'd better do my share and write something as well.
Maybe I should just start off with the basics, then: what has happened since last time, what of which made me a better person, and what made me a lesser one.
I'll save the most extraordinary thing for last, though :)
First of all, I got a new job back in November. If you have no education, and no outstanding talents that can take you anywhere you wish, Video Nova is just the best place you could ever hope to work for. It fit my interests perfectly, something my boss noticed immediately, and I'm sure that is why I got hired a month and a half later (I'd been working as a temp first). I absolutely love (most of) the conversations you can hold with the customers, because films are so easy to talk about, and I actually have a lot to say. So I quit my job at Easy24 in May, after the hours started piling up, and it just came to the point where I had to choose. So no more days where I flip everything from hamburgers and pizzas to fries and some other scary-looking dish I'm still not sure what is, prepare slushies to exactly the way a five-year-old wants it, or bend down to pick up whatever some drunk guy "drops" to the floor every two minutes...and at the same time try to keep my dignity when I had a shirt that had "FAST & EASY" printed on it in huge, bold, yellow letters.
One thing I shouldn't have done, however (and this was shortly after I started working at Nova), was to go out with a guy when I secretly liked someone else. What's even worse than that, is that I didn't break off the relationship when I started fearing to go to work because I knew He would show up like clockwork, or that I couldn't have a single weekend to myself without Him being there, or when I had to call my parents and ask if I could sleep in my old room because I didn't want to be home and "available". I can't believe I was so stupid that I let it continue even when I deliberately turned off my phone so that I could have half a day with no interruptions, and suddenly He's standing right outside the door at 1 in the morning and then has to spend the night.
When I finally had the nerve to break up a few months later, a lot of things between us actually got worse. I don't want to go into detail about what happened in the following months, it's bad enough thinking about it. And then last August, He suddenly decided to tell me He *loves* me still, and that I had practically ruined everything for Him, and that His heart would never heal again. The whole thing sounded like something out of a soap opera, and I guess that's why i didn't know what to say. What *do* you say to something like that, anyway? So I didn't. I didn't say anything at all. I'm still not sure whether that was the right thing to do, or taking the easy way out.
Most if it was my fault anyway. I never did say I love him, nor did I do anything to make him believe that's how I felt, but maybe if I had told him right from the beginning that I wasn't sure I could ever feel something like that for him, maybe he wouldn't have gone through such lengths to pursue the relationship.
Anyway... it's over now, and since I'll be moving shortly (wohoo!!), I won't ever have to see him again, and I can put all of this behind me.
So, moving on to happier things: I'm moving! Finally! To a cozy little house on a small island called Kraakvaag, about 55 miles from Trondheim. I *adore* that place. and I honestly think I'll be as happy as I could ever be when you're 21 and still alone - it's like a little peace of heaven :) ...Probably a lot colder than heaven, but still
And now the best thing: the smartest decision I ever made, I'm sure, was last June. I drove off as the same person I've been for too long, and came home as what my parents called a bundle of joy: in my arms I held the most amazing little creature that I had picked up on a farm not too far from Moss. No one was surprised by the name I gave her: Sydney :) So now I am the proud owner of a collie. She's just so beautiful and unique, and it's just amazing to see her wake up every morning, all warm and sleepy, and then patiently waiting for her breakfast and morning walk.
I've had a puppy before, but now that i'm an adult, I can really... *see* all the changes she's going through as she's growing. She's almost 7 months already. Breed alone doesn't decide what kind of "person" they will be - they are born of every kind word and loving gesture, your own hopes and dreams, and what you get in return is so much more that it just completely turns your life around :) It's basically a new and improved lifestyle that comes with having a dog, I think.
Till next time,
Pel :)
Maybe I should just start off with the basics, then: what has happened since last time, what of which made me a better person, and what made me a lesser one.
I'll save the most extraordinary thing for last, though :)
First of all, I got a new job back in November. If you have no education, and no outstanding talents that can take you anywhere you wish, Video Nova is just the best place you could ever hope to work for. It fit my interests perfectly, something my boss noticed immediately, and I'm sure that is why I got hired a month and a half later (I'd been working as a temp first). I absolutely love (most of) the conversations you can hold with the customers, because films are so easy to talk about, and I actually have a lot to say. So I quit my job at Easy24 in May, after the hours started piling up, and it just came to the point where I had to choose. So no more days where I flip everything from hamburgers and pizzas to fries and some other scary-looking dish I'm still not sure what is, prepare slushies to exactly the way a five-year-old wants it, or bend down to pick up whatever some drunk guy "drops" to the floor every two minutes...and at the same time try to keep my dignity when I had a shirt that had "FAST & EASY" printed on it in huge, bold, yellow letters.
One thing I shouldn't have done, however (and this was shortly after I started working at Nova), was to go out with a guy when I secretly liked someone else. What's even worse than that, is that I didn't break off the relationship when I started fearing to go to work because I knew He would show up like clockwork, or that I couldn't have a single weekend to myself without Him being there, or when I had to call my parents and ask if I could sleep in my old room because I didn't want to be home and "available". I can't believe I was so stupid that I let it continue even when I deliberately turned off my phone so that I could have half a day with no interruptions, and suddenly He's standing right outside the door at 1 in the morning and then has to spend the night.
When I finally had the nerve to break up a few months later, a lot of things between us actually got worse. I don't want to go into detail about what happened in the following months, it's bad enough thinking about it. And then last August, He suddenly decided to tell me He *loves* me still, and that I had practically ruined everything for Him, and that His heart would never heal again. The whole thing sounded like something out of a soap opera, and I guess that's why i didn't know what to say. What *do* you say to something like that, anyway? So I didn't. I didn't say anything at all. I'm still not sure whether that was the right thing to do, or taking the easy way out.
Most if it was my fault anyway. I never did say I love him, nor did I do anything to make him believe that's how I felt, but maybe if I had told him right from the beginning that I wasn't sure I could ever feel something like that for him, maybe he wouldn't have gone through such lengths to pursue the relationship.
Anyway... it's over now, and since I'll be moving shortly (wohoo!!), I won't ever have to see him again, and I can put all of this behind me.
So, moving on to happier things: I'm moving! Finally! To a cozy little house on a small island called Kraakvaag, about 55 miles from Trondheim. I *adore* that place. and I honestly think I'll be as happy as I could ever be when you're 21 and still alone - it's like a little peace of heaven :) ...Probably a lot colder than heaven, but still
And now the best thing: the smartest decision I ever made, I'm sure, was last June. I drove off as the same person I've been for too long, and came home as what my parents called a bundle of joy: in my arms I held the most amazing little creature that I had picked up on a farm not too far from Moss. No one was surprised by the name I gave her: Sydney :) So now I am the proud owner of a collie. She's just so beautiful and unique, and it's just amazing to see her wake up every morning, all warm and sleepy, and then patiently waiting for her breakfast and morning walk.
I've had a puppy before, but now that i'm an adult, I can really... *see* all the changes she's going through as she's growing. She's almost 7 months already. Breed alone doesn't decide what kind of "person" they will be - they are born of every kind word and loving gesture, your own hopes and dreams, and what you get in return is so much more that it just completely turns your life around :) It's basically a new and improved lifestyle that comes with having a dog, I think.
Till next time,
Pel :)